9 Reasons Why You Shouldn't Adopt a Kitten (or Should You?)
Are You Planning on Adopting a Kitten?
I adopted my two little kittens back in June. Lola and Rosie have taught me a lot, and although I love them dearly . . . quite frankly, they're a pain in my rear. Here are some reasons that may make you reconsider adopting a kitten (or two!).
1. They're Deceptively Cute
Don't let those big eyes and cute little whiskers fool you—they are trouble. Just forget about having nice things. Oh, you liked your couch? They'll scratch it. You like your leg intact? They'll claw their way up it to get to you.
2. They're Inconvenient: You Won't Get Any Work Done
Cats are perfectly inconvenient. If you want to snuggle them, they want nothing to do with you. If you have something to do, they'll get in your way. Cats want your attention, and sometimes they can be very coy about it. Other times, they're not.
Whenever I go to work on my laptop, Rosie and Lola try to climb on top of it and lay down . . . on my keyboard. They're only ever interested in computers when someone is trying to use them. Again, perfectly inconvenient.
3. They're Nosy
Forget privacy. Just forget it. They'll watch you pee, sit in your boyfriend's boxers as he poops, and stare at you while you are showering. Creepy, much? My kittens constantly follow me from room to room.
4. There Is No Such Thing as a "Cat Owner"
If you adopt a kitten, you'll quickly but surely learn that you aren't really a cat owner. That cat owns you. And it owns you for life. They know exactly what to do to get what they want. They have ways of telling you something is not to their standard—and you better fix it, too.
5. All They Do Is Sleep, Eat, Poop, Sleep, Repeat.
Your cat will love sleeping. And your cat will love food (especially wet food). And your cat will love sleeping. And yes, if you wake them up (even by accident), they'll give you some sass and make you think twice about waking them from a deep slumber.
Beware of wet food if you decide to get a cat—your house will smell worse than the devil's poop.
6. Did I Mention They Poop?
And they do it every day. Sometimes twice. It's always a surprise. One day, they may poop in the litter box, the next day in the tub, the next day in the sink, on your favorite rug, by the plunger, in their water bowl, about a million more times in the tub, and then they'll puke. And if you're lucky enough, you'll have another cat who will eat the puke.
7. They Sleep—So Much Sleep
Yup, they just love sleeping. It's their special talent. If they're not sleeping, they're sleepy . . . or they're pooping or inconveniencing you. I'm only half-kidding!
8. But They Don't Sleep When You Do
During the day, kittens will sleep many hours. I think it is my duty to tell you before you decide it's an awesome idea to adopt a kitten that they are a completely different animal at night. And if you have two kittens, that's double the trouble.
My kittens prefer to play tag and have WWE matches at night. At 2 am. And if you sleep with the door open, your heads become objects to ricochet off of. Yes, there will be scratches. And they will play with your toes at night. And by "play with" I really mean "lick, scratch, and bite." Mostly bite and scratch. Kitty nails are sharp!
9. You'll Never Be Able to Have a Glass of Water on Your Coffee Table Ever Again
And this one's a promise. Your new kitten will happily steal your glass of water. Every. Single. Time.
Boy, do I love my sweet little kitties . . . but kittens are little, tiny, adorable monsters. I mean—they're pretty crazy. Most aren't very cuddly at this age. They'd rather just run around.
If you do adopt a kitten (and I hope you do!), they will bring you so much happiness. And luckily, they become calmer as they get older. Anyway, just go ahead and get that little kitty—you'll be happy that you did. And you won't regret it . . . even after cleaning up massive amounts of poop.