When Your Cat Dies: Gentle Tips to Heal Your Grieving Heart

Updated on August 5, 2019
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Sadie Holloway, a proud cat parent, is a strong advocate for adopting pets from animal shelters and rescue organizations.

Coping with the loss of a beloved cat can be truly devastating, but hopefully this article can help guide you through your grieving process.
Coping with the loss of a beloved cat can be truly devastating, but hopefully this article can help guide you through your grieving process. | Source

Coping With the Loss of a Cat Can Be Devastating

Coping with the pain of your cat dying can be one of the most difficult things you'll face. But with patience and gentle self-care, there are things that you and your family can do to ease the pain and grief of losing your cat.

Cats can be incredibly affectionate, loving, and loyal. They remind us to be playful and adventurous. They remind us to live in the moment and to love unconditionally. In many ways, our cat friends help us to be better human beings. That's why it can hurt so much when your cat dies, leaving you with an empty space in your life.

What to Do When Your Cat Dies

With a loss so massive, it can be extremely difficult to know what to do with your life now and how to even begin grieving such a wonderful animal. Hopefully, this guide will help light the way through your healing process.

Here are some of the things you can do to help grieve the loss of your cat:

  • Accept that your grief over losing your beloved cat is valid.
  • Surround yourself with people who understand.
  • Understand that feeling guilty is a natural response.
  • Accept that grieving is a gradual process, unique to every individual.
  • Make a list of all your favorite things about your cat.
  • Keep in mind that your other pets may be grieving too.
  • Rediscover your purpose in life (or find a new one).
  • Determine if, and when, getting a new cat is a good idea.

Recovering from the loss of a furry friend takes time.
Recovering from the loss of a furry friend takes time.

Your Grief Over Losing Your Beloved Cat Is Valid

Grieving when a pet dies is real. Your feelings are not overly sentimental or silly. It’s OK to acknowledge your pain.

The pain of losing your cat can be devastating. It's important that you let yourself grieve. Let yourself express your sadness in whatever ways feel most comfortable and healing for you. Remember, pets are an important part of our lives. Losing their love, affection, and companionship can be beyond heartbreaking. Don't be afraid to cry openly or talk about how much you miss your cat.

Though grief can't be shared and is something that an individual goes through alone, there are luckily a few things you can do to help you carry that burden.

Surround Yourself With People Who Understand

If you can, surround yourself with people who understand the pain and grief of losing a beloved cat. People who don't share your love of pets may not understand your sense of loss. And folks who don't identify as "cat people" may not understand that losing a cat can be just as painful as losing a dog. Part of your healing process involves acknowledging and accepting that your pain and sadness is real and valid. Having a friend or family member at your side who can appreciate the significance of your loss will help you slowly recover and heal.

Although you may feel as though no one can possibly understand the intense feelings that arise when your cat dies, take comfort in knowing that there are many more books and resources available to you than ever before. Many crisis line workers, counsellors, psychologists, and health professionals recognize the pain and grief that can be triggered by the loss of pet. Don't be afraid to ask your doctor for support or a referral if you feel like your grief is becoming unmanageable.

Note: If you're also looking for some guidance on how to help your children through this difficult time, then check out my article on How to Talk to Your Children About the Death of a Pet.

Talking to an understanding friend about all the cute things your cat did may help ease your pain.
Talking to an understanding friend about all the cute things your cat did may help ease your pain.

Feeling Guilty Is a Natural Response

Are you feeling guilty about the death of your pet? That’s OK, too. And a normal response to the loss of a pet. Try to accept that you made the best decision you could for your pet at the time.

If your cat died suddenly in an accident, succumbed to a fatal illness, or had to be euthanized when her pain was intolerable and her quality of life was fading, it's normal to struggle with feelings of guilt and shame.

  • "Why couldn't I protect her?"
  • "If I had only kept her inside that day."
  • "If only I had noticed sooner that she was looking tired and worn out."

These are all common questions and feelings when a beloved feline dies. Sometimes when we grieve, we replay situations in our heads. We second-guess the decisions that we made. Maybe you didn't try (or couldn't afford) every medication, treatment, or special diet that was available, but you did the best you could with all the love you had in you and all the resources at your disposal. Take a deep breath and try to forgive yourself.

I had to make the decision to euthanize my cat. While I was devastated to let her go, I knew it was the most humane, compassionate thing I could do for her. For those who have to make the difficult decision to put an aging and sick cat to sleep, try to remember that you gave your cat the ultimate gift of a peaceful and pain-free end—a painless death that may not have been possible had your cat had to wait for a natural death.

In his book, Going Home: Finding Peace When Pets Die, Jon Katz offers solace to those of us who may be second-guessing the choices we made at the end of our pet's life. He writes:

"Focus instead on the things you gave your pet and the many things he or she gave you. The walks. The affection. The connection to other people. The shared experience journeying through parts of life together. That, not guilt or regret, is the legacy of your pet."

No Heaven will not ever Heaven be. Unless my cats are there to welcome me.

— Anonymous

Grieving Is a Gradual Process, Unique to Every Individual

Coping with your loss can only happen one day at a time. Be gentle with yourself.

A pet's death will affect the rhythm of your daily life. Old habits like going for a walk with the dog each morning or serving the cat her evening meal can jolt you back to the reality that your pet is no longer with you. It will take time to let go of some of these old, unconscious habits.

As a writer who works from home, the days and weeks after my cat died felt long and lonely. I missed the rituals we had carved out for ourselves—the afternoon cuddle, the sly way she'd steal my warm seat whenever I got up for coffee, the loud meow from the living room calling out to me, "Where are you?" (As my cat got older and started to lose her eyesight, she needed more and more reassurance of where she was.)

After my cat passed away, I had a hard time sitting in her favorite blue chair. I felt guilty, as if I was edging her out by sitting in her seat. How could I even think of reclaiming her regal blue throne as a piece of common people furniture?

For people who were caring for sick pets, the loss of a daily care routine can be doubly heartbreaking.

It may be tempting to dismiss these feelings as just being overly sentimental, but it is important to honor your feelings for what they are. Your cat was a significant part of your life.

Note: For a more detailed breakdown of the common stages of grief and how they can relate to the death of a beloved animal, take a look at this gentle guide on The Stages of Grief When Losing a Dog.

Make a List of All Your Favorite Things About Your Cat

Though this might be incredibly difficult, consider writing down a list of all your favorite things about your beloved feline. Funny things they liked to do, little personality quirks that were unique to them, the little acts they did that made you feel like you were the only other one in the world.

Writing down all of these little bits and pieces that made up who your cat was and what they meant to you can both help with the grieving process and also aid your memory in years to come whenever you want to fondly remember your loved one. Author Michael Zadoorian talked about doing this very act as part of his process for grieving his sweet cat, Bongo: "I just wanted to write about the gifts that this small furry creature had given me. Even then, by using the past tense, I was trying to get used to the idea of him being gone."

Cherish Their Memory

Honor your beloved companion by making a list of all of your favorite things about your cat.

If you have more than one pet in your family, some of the other animals may also show signs of grief and sadness over the loss of an animal friend.
If you have more than one pet in your family, some of the other animals may also show signs of grief and sadness over the loss of an animal friend.

Your Other Pets May Be Grieving Too

When a family pet passes away, it's not just humans who feel the loss; other family pets may also show signs of sadness and depression as well.

In the mid-1990s, the ASPCA conducted research on the behavioral changes in cats who lost a close cat friend. Researchers found that 46% of cats ate less than usual following the death of a fellow pet friend. And almost 70% of the cats studied showed vocal signs of grief, either meowing more than usual or becoming markedly less talkative. Many of the grieving cats slept more than usual. Many cats also became much clingier to their human companions. So, while you're coping with your grief over the loss of a pet, be mindful of other family pets who may also be going through their own grief process.

Watch for signs that your pets' health might be changing, and don't be afraid to talk to your vet if the other household animals show signs of prolonged grief and depression.

Do you believe that pets are capable of experiencing grief when an animal friend dies?

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How Do You Move Forward?

Though the popular saying goes that "time heals all wounds," many of those with terribly deep wounds and other forms of trauma know that this isn't always the case. In fact, one could make the case that time heals very few wounds and is often powerless against the most painful of them. Sometimes, you never really stop grieving so much as you learn to live with it. But that doesn't mean that we are helpless in the face of our grief.

Once again, everyone grieves and heals in their own ways. And to be honest, not all wounds can ever be truly repaired. Some holes just can't be filled again by anything—or anyone—once they are created by the parting of a loved one.

Rediscovering Your Purpose in Life

But among the most common and powerful ways to move forward in the face of massive grief is to rediscover your purpose in life (or find a new one). According to Dr. Robert Neimeyer, a psychology professor at the University of Memphis in Tennessee, grieving can be understood as a "process of trying to reconstruct a world of meaning that has been challenged by loss." He also added that healing is less about waiting for the passage of time than it is about "what the bereaved person does with that time that matters."

Naturally, this can mean a variety of different things. Maybe it means focusing on sharing all the love you still have to give with the people—and animals—who mean the most to you in your life. Perhaps you eventually begin volunteering at a local animal shelter to help spread the joy of loving a wonderful animal to as many people as possible.

There are so many ways to find new meaning and purpose in this world—or to rediscover the ones we already have but have perhaps temporarily forgotten—if only we are able to look for them. Of course, you may not yet be in a place where your grief will let you do much of anything outside of mourning your lost friend. But when the time comes where you feel like you might be up to finding and fostering that new meaning, you might just be surprised at how big of a difference it can make in your life—not to mention the lives of others.

Should You Get a New Cat to 'Replace' a Lost One?

This is a very difficult question to ask and rarely has an easy answer.

In many cases, this can actually be a terrible idea that could potentially backfire and prolong your grieving. After all, a new cat is not your old cat that you loved for years and years and formed a unique bond with. They will not do all the same things you loved about your previous cat. You will not feel that same deep, unspoken emotional connection when you look into their eyes. And they cannot repair all of the broken parts inside of you left in the wake of your beloved's death.

Simply "replacing" your cat with a new one will not change the fact that you need to feel your feelings of grief. And that takes time.

When Is the Right Time to Get a New Cat?

This is yet another aspect that comes down to the individual level and can't be easily covered with a blanket statement that applies to everyone.

In general, however, a good method of determining whether or not you are ready for a new cat involves assessing your own emotions about your departed friend and how raw those feelings still might be.

If it feels like you are simply trying to replace your friend—rather than bring a new buddy into your life—then you might want to hold off for a bit.

But if you feel like you have reached a point where your grief is less ever-present in your daily life and you are ready to love a new friend, then you might be OK to start looking for your next feline companion.

Eric Richman, a licensed independent clinical social worker for Tufts University Cummings School of Veterinary Medicine hotline, put it this way:

“I’d pay attention to what you’re saying to yourself. Is it, ‘I want another cat like Fluffy around,’ as opposed to, ‘It would be wonderful to have another cat in my life I can love again.’”

Thank you for being here and supporting others who are feeling sad about the loss of their cat.
Thank you for being here and supporting others who are feeling sad about the loss of their cat.


This article is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge. It is not meant to substitute for diagnosis, prognosis, treatment, prescription, or formal and individualized advice from a veterinary medical professional. Animals exhibiting signs and symptoms of distress should be seen by a veterinarian immediately.

Questions & Answers

  • Our ten-year-old Maine Coon was euthanized, leaving a two-year-old rescue kitty that she did not like. Now, the two-year-old is very sad. Should I get her a younger kitten for her to have as a companion?

    I'm sorry for the loss of your 10-year-old cat, and I appreciate your questions about adopting a new kitten. The decision to get a new pet after an older fur-friend has passed away is a deeply personal one, and I can't offer specific advice on what to do in your situation. Here are some things to think about though, in making your decision about whether or not you should get a new cat to keep your surviving cat company.

    Will you have time to care for a new kitten, and make sure that your other cat will be able to interact with it safely?

    Does your cat respond well to change?

    Is your cat in good health? A cat who is sick or stressed won't likely respond well to a new cat, or any new pet.

    Is there a way to help your cat deal with the loss of her feline friend that doesn't involve getting a new cat? For example, would extra playtime, attention and mental stimulation help her deal with her feelings of sadness?

    Are the other members of your family ready to adopt a new cat? It's important that everyone in your household has been able to grieve the loss of your older cat too. Perhaps talk to other family members and see if they're ready for the responsibility that comes with bringing home a new cat.

    Have you considered adopting a mature cat as a companion for your two-year-old cat?

    As you can see, there are many things to think about before adopting a new cat as a companion for your remaining cat. It's clear that you care deeply about your kitty and I know that love and affection will help guide you in making the best decision for you, your cat, and your family. I wish you all the best in whatever you decide to do.

© 2014 Sadie Holloway


Submit a Comment
  • profile image

    Carlotta Dawes 

    2 weeks ago

    I left my beautiful cat SNOWBALL outside and went to do some errands and I found that the dogs attacked him and I feel guilty that I didn't take him back in the house I knew he was always scared to go outside but I thought he was going to be okay I usually left him outside or he is usually inside a old car sleeping. I recently lost my dog someone shot him so I am so angry and I can't stop crying over them.

  • profile image


    3 weeks ago

    Hazel,My beautiful kitty, you were only four months old, you should have gotten to live longer than you did. I remember when you were born, cinnamon had been pregnant for a long time, and when the day came I was surprised to find that you were the only kitten in that litter,

    I remember that night. Me and my brothers were laying on the grass outside, listening to a new sound that my brother found just the day before, that whole day I played Minecraft. That was a good day. We were just about to go to sleep, you had been climbing up on the bed, and I was scared that I would crush you in my sleep. I didn't want to use my blanket, because I was scared that you would get rapped up in it and suffocate, well...I ended up using the blanket...worst decision of my life.it was like four in the morning, I remember stretching and feeling something at my feet, I got so scared that it was you... The blanket I use is long, so it took me like a whole minute to unwrap you... Once I did I picked you up. Your eyes were skew, your body was cold... I couldn't believe it, I put you on my bed to see if you would move...... Well.......you didn't...

    I left her on my bed and I went to tell my parents, they were awake changing a diaper, I told them and they gave me a hug and told me that we will bury her later. That night we buried her under my favorite tree, a giant birch. (We lived on six acres of land at the time) we carved her name into it. Hazel HarvestMoon, ever since then we have sadly moved but I brought a jar of dirt from next to your grave and a rock from on top of it. I hug them every once in a while. And since then your mom, Cinnamon has run away, but I still see Hazel. As a cat shaped shadow. I smile whenever I see it. And I know I'm not crazy because my brother has seen her too, only once but I was happy to hear about it. I Love You Hazel, You Will Always Be In My Heart.

  • profile image

    Steph Claire 

    5 weeks ago

    Today my dear 17 1/2 year old cat passed away- we had both her and her sister since I was 1, and with only having lost Rosie this last February, Ruby now being gone too hurts more than I can say. I’m glad she had such a long life and only went downhill in the past week, but with assuming she had a heart attack and knowing there’s no way we could’ve safely gotten her a diagnosis and help, I feel helpless on how to react or keep going. I only just turned 19 yesterday, and the fact that these two pillars of my life are now just gone makes continuing to grow and find my place in the world feel absolutely terrifying. Thankfully our other and younger cat Sasha is still going, but even with her around, Rosie and Ruby have been there for me through numerous things where I don’t know how I’d have coped without them. The idea of just continuing and living the rest of my life is terrifying and I feel like with Ruby a chunk of my childhood has died, but the last couple of hours before we lost her she was by my side and chose the room I was in over any other in the house, and I’m trying to remember that and hope that maybe, she knew I was scared of losing her and maybe she was going to miss me too. I hope she knew how dearly I love her and that she’ll never be replaced, but hopefully she’s out there with her sister and one day I’ll see them both again and can tell them. It’s going to be hard, but I felt supported by them both and I’m sure if they could voice it they’d want to see me fight and secure some sort of life for myself.

    You two were the single, solid, best pieces of my life, and I hope one day I can be living a life where I can afford to spoil and pamper my own cat just as much as my parents did you. Ruby went from scratching me for getting too close to meowing as loud as she could until I appeared to pick her up, and I hope to god that even though she can’t and shouldn’t be replaced, maybe one day I can find a cat again that gives me as much serene comfort as those two did in their older days

  • profile image


    6 weeks ago

    On November 10th I had to put my son Monkey down, I had no money, thankfully my dad said he'd help. The cost was $148. The vet didn't charge me. She was so worried about me being able to drive she sat with me. I took him home but couldn't bury him ground was too hard. So he sat in my fridge for 3 days. I still call his name thinking he will be there.Ive had to grieve by myself. He was an amazing cat..he was my SON.

  • profile image

    Isis Vidales 

    2 months ago

    I lost my Tom today he was a beautiful tuxedo cat. He was killed by 3 dogs that got in our backyard. I’m sorry Tom

    That I let you down that I didn’t get home sooner to protect you. My heart is broken I can’t stop crying just seeing is body completely destroyed my beautiful Tom my confident, my best friend I will miss you greatly your sister Chu misses you so much. Thank you for the 5 years that you were with us for your love and your kisses I will never forget you I will always carry you in my heart. I love you so much it hurts so much I can’t stand the pain I hope that you always knew how much i truly loved you Tom I will never forget you

  • Trish Tucker profile image

    Trish Tucker 

    2 months ago

    Oct. 24th I lost my Princess. My heart is broken.

  • profile image

    elijah wilks 

    2 months ago

    I lost my baby kitty a couple of months ago. she was a beautiful tabby cat.

    my mom found her as a small kitten on the side of a road. beside her were her dead mother and her dead siblings. she was all alone. my mom took her in and contemplated finding a new home for her. but she couldn't. I had fallen in love with her. she followed me everywhere like a love-struck puppy. I loved her so much. she loved to "catch" garbage and put it inside of the water bowl. fast forward 5 years and I let her out one day. she went and slept on the road. I came home from school one day and I see her on the road sitting still. she was cold and hard like a stone. I just fell over next to her and cried so hard. it hurt so bad. we cremated her that day and I put some of her ashes in a necklace.

    I will come for you one day B kitty. One day.

  • profile image

    Michelle kirby 

    2 months ago

    My heart is broken

  • profile image


    3 months ago

    My heart is so broken, and I can’t stop crying, my baby boy Scotty passed away on Sunday, with respiratory problems, a Burmese and only 8 years old. He had his vaccination needle on Friday afternoon and I’m only guessing it was due to this, even though the vets don’t think so. I can’t pull myself together, he was like a child to me, slept with me, sat and waited for me to shower or go the toilet, I loved him to pieces, and I just want him back,

  • profile image

    Shashank Sekhar Das 

    3 months ago

    2months ago... in front of my home a little cute kitten was crying as he was lost his mother... I think he was only 2weeks...then I take him to my room and I took care of him...when I was feeding him I was feeling peace of mind and heart...I was playing, eating, sleeping, studying with him... I was thinking my life is now fulfilled...the way he was looking at me I can't explain that..He was my best friend.. When he was sleeping on me I was feeling heaven...But I never knew that Happy moments are going to end very soon... yesterday morning I feed him and then I went for Shopping... when I came to home I saw he is not there in my home..then I searched everywhere.then my neighbor told me that many wild dogs took him into the jungle.in that time I was surprised and then I went to the jungle to save him From the dogs..but I was too late.They killed him badly.And I lost my love forever.. I am heartbroken... I am crying everyday every night... I know he will never return back to me...my life is now empty... I am totally depressed and Sad... just seeing his pics and remembering him and just crying alwz...

    Miss you my love,my life my kalu..plzz return if possible.. I never imagined that one-day we will be separated from each other.. and sorry I couldn't save you as I promised. one-day we will meet in heaven..

  • profile image

    Fairhaven James 

    3 months ago

    Maxwell passed away October seventh. He was 16 years old and we really didn’t see this coming. Without discussing the cause of his sudden death, I will talk about his life. I found him in the woods of a rural town sitting between two trees growing together at the base. He was small enough to sit in the palm of your hand. I went house to house to see if anybody knew anything about this kitten. Nobody did.

    There was no way I could leave him there, so he came home with me.

    We had just lost our first cat to kidney disease. When my wife came home she said it was too early to get another cat. But she relented. He stayed and was one of the friendliest cats I have ever seen. No matter who came over, he was purring up to them. I’m getting long winded here. I just miss everywhere he was, everything he did, and how he would come running when you called his name.

  • Mr-Mediocre profile image


    3 months ago

    My little buddy, Nooches, just passed away this afternoon. He had been with me for the last 15 years, showing up at my girlfriend's doorstep as a stray. Since then, I got married to that girl, had two children of my own, worked my way up from a one-bedroom apartment to a four-bedroom house, and moved from Ohio to Alaska. Nooches was there, every step of the way. As we lost relatives, made new friendships, and saw others come and go within our lives, he was always there. I literally feel as though a chapter of my life is finished with the passing of one of my best friends.

    A scrawny orange cat that had no business in my life, showed up one cold evening and ended up leaving an impact that I find impossible to quantify.

  • profile image


    3 months ago

    My "Baby" had to leave me just yesterday. She developed cancer at a vaccine injection site and it grew rapidly. She was my heart. She had been abandoned, but became the sweetest companion I have ever had. My heart is broken and my home so empty. She was very much my "Baby" and was much too young to have developed this disease (only 5). My heart is broken and I am consumed with grief. Miss you so much, my sweet Baby.....

  • Mark-O profile image


    3 months ago

    One week ago I had to put my best friend Jericho to sleep. I am not very emotional about things but I cry every day as I am heartbroken. Fourteen years ago he showed up at my door. He was fully grown and the vet told me he was around two years old. Apparently he was abandoned since that is quite common in my rural neighborhood. Right away we became friends. I like to think he chose me rather than my choosing him. He was to the end my best buddy.

    To all of you who have lost your best buddy I know how you feel and fully understand your pain. I am so very sorry for your loss and pray one day you will be reunited as I hope I am.

  • profile image


    3 months ago

    It supposed to be just a regular weekend. Instead, my neighbours just knocked to my door telling that some lady drove over my beautiful girl. Mischievous and funny Mailo, always sneaking away, jumping and messing about. Also the most affectionate cat in our family...

    I have two more cats, Ginger and Fifi, they are over 5 years old Mailo was just 2.5

    I tried so hard to keep her home abut she always sneaked away. Yesterday, I went out with cardboard to the bins. I saw her in the kitchen and later she ate pice of my burger. I roll this moment over and over in my head. Why didn't I check the door? Why didn't I call her name? What if we didn't go to this shop with my son, or just drove to a friend as planned? I didn't even realise she was not at home until neighbours told me. I know she loved to sneak out with other two cats but she was so clumsy and silly and I should have protected her.

    Such a senseless death I could prevent. Just can't forgive me.

    It hurts so much because we had a very special bond. She slept with me every night, on my hand or the pillow with me, following me everywhere and watching almost each of my moves. She slept on my chest, and when I suddenly got whooping cough she was all nights watching me licking my face after cough episode.

    She was the brightest light in our family. My son adored her as much as I had. He is heartbroken. Angry.

    Our lives feel empty, and something is missing.

    It is only a day since I've lost her, and I feel like I am seeing Mailo in her usual places. I keep looking for her. It feels like my brain cannot process the fact she is gone. Every time I think of her I burst in tears. This Pain is almost physical. My two other cats keep coming trying to play with me and, I play with them and then, I wonder if they understand the situation.

    I miss her sitting next to me when I work with my laptop. I miss her so badly.

    hope you are in a beautiful place now love you baby girl...

  • profile image


    4 months ago

    It’s been 3 days since our Frankie passed suddenly in an accident. He didn’t come home in the morning for his breakfast as he always did, and sometimes you just know something is wrong. My worst fears were confirmed at 2pm that day when after searching, I found his little body at the side of a road near our home. I cannot get the picture out of my mind despite having a million other much nice memories of him. It’s such a travesty and such a waste of his short life and for it to come to an end so brutally is something that I cannot make any sense of. We assume that his injuries meant that he died instantly from the impact. This is some comfort and we would never ever have wished any suffering, even for a second, upon him. He was a great cat, more like a dog in fact and so loving and sweet. The horrendous event that I experienced in finding him, for which I am somehow grateful as I could bring him home, have left me totally gutted and emotionally ill. I cannot stop missing him and although yesterday was the first day that I agreed with myself to let him go, it’s so hard to do it without slipping backwards and the tears well up again. We have his brother and our other cat to take care of now and each time I see his brother I feel instant pain again. I see Frankie when I see Tommy and it won’t stop causing me hurt. I am sure this will pass but we are experiencing a massive void in our life now even though only one of three is no longer with us.

    The anguish and the guilt are so severe and my stomach is in knots. My purpose has gone for now and I just desperately want to have him back, but I know I cannot have that.

    I am usually a person of logic, but this ending has no logic. It has ripped away our friend and companion and opened a door to lots of suffering and unanswerable questions that are excruciating.

    I know that I have to let him go and with time the pain will dull and so I will be able to refocus and carry on, but the scar will never heal. It will change me forever and in a way it’s a good thing. It means that his short life has impacted me and left a mark forever.

  • profile image

    Josie Boger 

    4 months ago

    My cat, Trenton, died last week. He died at the age of 19, and was put down to sleep. Trenton had a problem in his back legs, until one morning he was in so much pain that he could not walk. I remember the times me when he was found in a barn, alone with his sister. I feel like that my whole heart was stolen from me, and will never come back. He has left our home, but is still in our hearts.

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    4 months ago

    We just lost our two year old little bean to saddle thrombosis. I’m at a complete loss and am entirely broken hearted. He was so young and still had such a long life ahead of him. But the vet said he wouldn’t have made it through the night. How do you deal with the loss. Also how do we make sure the other kitties are okay?

  • profile image

    mindy m mixon 

    4 months ago

    Im so lost and broken hearted. I lost my best friend, my everything, my cat whos name was kitty cat. Its only been 4 days and i cant stand even being home .. i miss him so much. I have cried so much and i feel absolutely lost. I dont know how to handle this

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    Fabio Carvalho 

    4 months ago

    I just lost my Xinote yesterday! He was a proud, chubby (at least until a month ago), little brown and white, green eyed cat! And he was my love! He had been with me for 16 years and 2 months from the 16 and 4 months of his entire life! I'm now 28, so he was a part of my life for more than half of the time that I'm on this world! And he grew with me as much as I grew with him!

    And it pains me so that, after being healthy for all those years, I had to euthanize him because of cancer. I was wishing that he would die a painless death due to natural causes. The last moment was chilling! Just quick, cold and raw! I stand beside my decision, because I did not want him to suffer, but after the deed was done, there was only me, stooding there and seeing him so peacefully, as if he was asleep, while I was crying my eyes out!

    I remember the first day I got him! My previous cat, which only spent 6 months with me, since the couple that gave him to me, gave him already sick, had just also passed away, and I was sure that I didn't want any other pet. I was a grieving young 12 years old boy at the time and my ideas would change rather quickly, as I discovered three weeks latter, because, from the moment my mother's friend came into her shop, offering us a cat from a brooding of 5, I was swayed. And Xinote, out of the 5, was the one who came to me without fear, jumping into my arms as if doing a leap of faith. I was instantly hooked! And I must believe that he was a winner and that the leap of faith paid off!

    As young boys, we used to play a lot! As grown men, we still played as often as time allowed. His favorite play toy was any kind of string that I would shake in a frenzied manner so that he could chase it. And he ate! A lot! And almost everything, that's the reason why he was chubby! I would give him pieces of meat, fish... Even yogurt! He especially loved a cookie flavored one! I just couldn't resist the way that he would miaow for it and the eyes he would give me! And I also loved is purr! I knew the right places to pet him, so I could hear him "sing" that song! On top of his head or under his chin were a sure given! Just not on his underbelly.

    When I turned 18, I had a pretty bad situation with a girl I loved! I won't go into details, but I had one of the worst times of my life! I even thought about suicide a few times, and even tried to go through with it, but at the end always lost the courage to do it. At the time, I was also losing contact with my high school friends, saving one and that situation had made me a little anti-sociable. So, Xinote was a big part of the healing process! He was always with me when I was home, he would lick me many times, ask me to pet him or give me little headbutts! And he would spend all time with me, even in my sleeping time (since he was little, he could never adapt to an appropriate bed, so he would always sleep either on my or my mother and stepfather's one), as if he could comprehend my pain! Maybe he couldn't comprehend it, but I'm sure he could feel it! So you can see how he helped me a lot getting through those very tough times.

    And today I'm a full-grown man! Now I do have a very tight group of friends, but, after so many years where both friends and girlfriends had come and gone, he was the only one that sticked arround! Until yesterday! Yesterday I've became that 12 year old young boy again, then a teen, then a fresh adult, then an adult once more! And then just broke down in tears... My long life friend is just gone! Right now, I feel like I'm falling through a big deep hole of solitude! And I think that there's no way that I'll ever be able to fill it up again.

    I hope that my Xinote is resting in peace right now, as I'm again gripping my pillow and crying for him, but of one thing I am sure off! I will always love him and keep all my memories of him alive! I refuse to let him die both in my heart and in my brain!

    So long my long-life companion! The boy loves you!

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    LC Clarke 

    5 months ago

    Yesterday I lost my 6 year old friend. He lost some weight and we took him to the vet expecting something minor, and we found a lump. 3 days later he had an X-ray, which showed a massive tumour, and 2 days later surgery couldn't save him.

    My poor chum friend, I'm so sorry we didn't do more sooner. I hope you know that we loved you so much, and we miss you more than we realised we could. I'm sorry that you had to be alone and frightened before being put to sleep, and I just hope that any pain you had is gone and that we did the right thing in the end.

    I miss the way you followed me around, and would keep me company as I was cooking dinner. I wish you could be here tonight for me to play with. You were my best friend, and I know that no other cat will ever come close to being as special and scrunchy as you. I hope we will get to see you again in another life.

    Thank you for all the love you've given us these past 6 years. You were the absolute best and I'll love you forever.

  • StephAngie Cote profile image

    StephAngie Cote 

    5 months ago from Ottawa

    Nice to meet you and so sorry for your lost...I know how it feels...we also lost family pets.

    In a loving memory of Smaggy a female cat of 11 years tabby dark grey or black in the past.

    Now, sadly we have lost Skyler he was a white and few spots of grey indoor family cat and he was spayed / neutered Persian / Siamese male cat, he passed away from a blockage, the end of this month of August 2019, we had him only for 5 years.

    In the 5 years we had the support,of our beloved furry Angel,Skyler...together,we been through the lost of my uncle Roger Robert, then at birth our newborn baby boy Sedrick Roger Cote, both of my in-laws Georgette Ayotte & Edgar Cote, my aunt Jeanne Lepine, after my uncle George Lepine. R.I.P every furry angels outhere,like Skyler and many more angels,gone so soon...until, we see you again ! God bless everybody, peace and love, take care each other, stay safe CHEERS ! Our sympathy...our thoughts and prayers is with you,your family and friends !

    You always be missed and forever loved !

    Sorry for your lost !

  • StephAngie Cote profile image

    StephAngie Cote 

    5 months ago from Ottawa

    Nice to meet you and so sorry for your lost...I know how it feels...we also lost family pets...in a loving memory of Smaggy a female cat of 11 years tabby dark grey or black in the past.

    Now, sadly we have lost Skyler he was a white and few spots of grey indoor family cat and he was spayed / neutered Persian / Siamese male cat, he passed away from a blockage, the end of this month of August 2019, we had him only for 5 years.

    In the 5 years we had the support,of our beloved furry Angel,Skyler...together,we been through the lost of my uncle Roger Robert, then at birth our newborn baby boy Sedrick Roger Cote, both of my in-laws Georgette Ayotte & Edgar Cote, my aunt Jeanne Lepine, after my uncle George Lepine. R.I.P every furry angels outhere,like Skyler and many more angels,gone so soon...until, we see you again ! God bless everybody, peace and love, take care each other, stay safe CHEERS ! Our sympathy...our thoughts and prayers is with you,your family and friends !

    You always be missed and forever loved !

    Sorry for your lost !

  • StephAngie Cote profile image

    StephAngie Cote 

    5 months ago from Ottawa

    Skyler was a white and few spots of grey indoor family cat and he was spayed / neutered Persian / Siamese male cat, he passed away from a blockage, the end of this month of August 2019, we had him only for 5 years.

    In the 5 years we had the support,of our beloved furry Angel,Skyler...together,we been through the lost of my uncle Roger Robert, then at birth our newborn baby boy Sedrick Roger Cote, both of my in-laws Georgette Ayotte & Edgar Cote, my aunt Jeanne Lepine, after my uncle George Lepine. R.I.P every furry angels outhere,like Skyler and many more angels,gone so soon...until, we see you again ! God bless everybody, peace and love, take care each other, stay safe CHEERS ! Our sympathy...our thoughts and prayers is with you,your family and friends !

    You always be missed and forever loved !

    Sorry for your lost !

  • StephAngie Cote profile image

    StephAngie Cote 

    5 months ago from Ottawa

    Skyler is a indoor Persian / Siamese male cat, he passed away from a blockage, the end of this August 2019,

    we had him only for 5 years and he was spayed / neutered.In the 5 years we had the support of our furry Angel,Skyler...

    we been through the lost of my uncle Roger Robert, then at birth our newborn baby boy Sedrick Roger Cote, both of my in-laws Georgette Ayotte & Edgar Cote, my aunt Jeanne Lepine, after my uncle George Lepine. R.I.P every furry angels outhere,like Skyler and many more angels,gone so soon...until, we see you again ! God bless everybody, peace and love, take care each other, stay safe CHEERS ! Our sympathy...our thoughts and prayers is with you,your family and friends !

  • Spunky080319 profile image


    5 months ago

    Rest in Heavenly peace sweet Spunky. You and your brother Cheetahbug came into our lives on your human dad’s birthday 9 years ago. Oh what blessings joy and laughter you boys brought to our family. Thank you Spunky and Cheetah for the gift of love you shared with us, your 2 legged family members. We were very sad when Cheetah was taken from the world when he was so young. It has been 8 years and we miss him every day. Now our sweet baby, we mourn yet again because you, my beautiful boy, have gone to be with your furry brother Cheetah once more while we are left with a terrible void with your passing.

    I hope you can forgive us for having the vet end your suffering as it totally broke our hearts when you were no longer interested in eating or drinking and watching you stumble if you moved at all as you quickly grew weaker from your illness. I tried so hard to feed you with the syringe food and water. The water you took okay the first day you stopped drinking but you just would not or perhaps could not, tolerate the food the vet told us to give. Baby food did not work, nor did the nutritional gel they had us give you. You took tiny amounts of the gel and I thought that was a good sign because the first time I gave it you did swallow it. So a little while later I tried the special canned food, to no avail. Throughout the day I tried to give you water and nourishment.

    The more I tried, the more you rejected it. I saw you just lying there wanting to simply be not pushed to take anything by mouth. It broke my heart. You grew weaker as the hours drew on. All I or we could do to comfort you was to gently pick you up and cuddle you as you have so enjoyed these last few years.

    It was clear your body was shutting down and there was nothing we could do to stop it as much as we wanted to. As a family we saw how you were quickly declining in health and we could not continue to watch you suffer. It was with very heavy hearts that we took you back to the vet so that they could make your passing hopefully be peaceful, less painful and not drawn out in agony.

    Daddy held you while the vet was preparing the stuff to put the catheter in and you just laid peacefully in his arms, looking around as he paced back and forth. Then they came to get you to put the catheter in and brought you back to be with us one last time, and gingerly, they put you in my arms and I held you and told you how so very much we love you and how grateful we are to have had you in our lives. You looked directly in my eyes as if to say goodbye or maybe even thank you for not allowing me to suffer any more.

    The doctor did what she needed to and in little time at all you were gone.

    Sweet Spunky, thank you for all the love joy laughter and even frustration you occasionally gave us. They were all parts of your beautiful and loving personality that we will never forget.

    It’s been 24 hours now since you stopped suffering so I suffer for you my friend, our sweet fur baby. I cry so often because it hurts so bad to lose a member of your family. I thank God for your life and being part of our life. But I am so heartbroken that I can’t hear your tender and soft meow for love and attention. I can’t reach over and feel your soft fur as I pet you. I can’t feel your kneeding that you would do to show your love. I can’t hear that purr box of yours anymore.

    I know in time I’ll be able to function again but right now, I am immobilized by sadness. Please know Spunky Buddy, that you will always be loved and always missed. We miss you already so very much. Poor Gizmo is confused as he doesn’t understand why his brother is suddenly gone. I hope he will be ok because I know like us, he misses you too.

    You’re always in our hearts buddy. No more pain or suffering so for that I am thankful. Say meow to Cheetah for us, we do so miss and love him too

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    Richard J Colby 

    5 months ago

    My Misty is leaving me today , took her to vet 3 weeks ago they couldn't find anything wrong except temperature was up a little , gave her antibiotics and nutri cal. misty was my late wife who died almost 7 yrs ago we found misty didn't know how old she was .now i think maybe 11 last month .we still have her sister Alexis Carrington Colby ,who is fat and healthy ,words to wise people stop dumping animals they have feelings

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    Presley Turner 

    5 months ago

    Ugh Chewie, I miss you so much. I can’t believe that it’s been almost a whole year without you. You were my baby. You cuddled with me when I was sad. You made me feel way better in general. I wish I could see your cute little face one more time. I wish I knew what happened to you. It hurt so much to come home and see you dead on the floor and not have a clue why. I want to see you again and cuddle with you, but I can’t, and it makes me so sad. You were also the cutest cat ever!!! You made me feel so much happier when I was sad. You would cuddle with me when I was crying. But now sadly even though I am crying it hurts to know that you won’t be able to hug me again. - rip chewie, September 11, 2018

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    5 months ago

    We had to have our tabby cat the Captain put to sleep on Friday he was our world, the house is so empty without him the pain of losing him is almost unbearable we loved him so much ,he was a funny cheeky boy he knew he had us just were he wanted us we would play chase around the house with him he loved it he brought so much happiness to us we have no one else there was us three now just us two we know life will never be the same now no matter how much time passes he won’t be here to help make things ok we will always love you and will think of you every day for the rest of our lives he got pancreatitis we took him to the vet he was always terrified of going but we had no choice we left him for 4 days that was bad enough we thought he’d be ok on the medication we had a few months but his heart gave up in the end we had to let him bye for now sweetheart thanks for everything see you on Rainbow Bridge Xxxxxxxx

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    5 months ago

    Hello, these comments have helped so much. I hope someone finds the same peace I have while reading.

    I put down my Maincoon. I had him since 5th grade and I’m 25yrs old. A good long 15yrs of spunk. He was an indoor only guy but we gave him anything and everything to live a wonderful life. He was with me when my dad passed away, when I got married, my first apartment on my own. Everything. It’s been hands down the hardest few days after his death and I’m slowly coming to peace imagining he’s living an even better life somewhere, maybe he even has a clone of me that doesn’t have to leave for work and gives him unlimited treats. Chester likes hide and seek, watching birds and squirrels, trying to open door by jumping on the handle, sleeping on anyone’s lap that will let him, begging for treats while doing the dishes and much more. He never gave me a single problem and only brought the joyous of joy into my life. His meows were tiny but he could make them strong if he wanted too. He’d beat me to the bedroom door at bedtime and be up at 4am waiting for me to get my cup of coffee. I’ll miss him until the day I die too but pain and grief is not something he’d want. He brought only happiness and that’s what I will do for him.

    I hope all of you stay strong, no matter how you lost your best friend the joy they brought you is what needs to be remembered. The more the grief and pain is because of how much love their was for them which means they lived a good life. It’s a shame they aren’t physically here forever but they ARE with us forever in our heart and memory. I encourage anyone reading this to share your memory, if not here then on paper or in your phone. Get it out of your mind because it truly does help.

    Much love

    -Alex and Chester

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    Tigers Mom 

    6 months ago

    Dear Tiger (baby), just two days ago July 22, 2019, you went away. I knew something was wrong, but I thought we had time. I was taking you to the vet in just a couple of days. I didn't know it was so bad baby, and I didn't know I'd be sitting here devastated today , because you are no longer with me. I can't stop crying. Everything reminds me of you. I find myself backing the car out or pulling in extra slow to make sure I don't hit you. Then I remember you aren't here and I fall completely apart. I get home from work and your not at the car, bumping against the door telling me to open it so you can greet me. It's silence. The yard doesn't even look the same without your beautiful presence. The house doesn't feel the same. I keep thinking of when I got you at just 6 weeks old. You were the most adorable baby. You sat on my shoulder on the card ride home. I thought you'd be afraid from being taken from your birth mother, but you came into my world with your little self like you knew me all along. I remember you cuddling up to my head to stay warm at night, then waking me up with your rough kisses. You were amazing. You grew up to be such a good boy. So protective, and loving, and brave, and funny, and talkative. I remember when you lost your leg at 7 months, I admired you so much. With it barely attached you managed to make it home. You left 3 days earlier and I was so upset, because I couldn't find you and I thought you were gone then, but I opened the door and there you were. Strong enough to make it home. Your recovery amazed everybody. I was nervous of how you were going to go on, but you came out on top. You were faster than most of the other cat's you did whatever you wanted. You deserved all the expensive meals, beds, and toys you got. You were so spoiled. Grandma is missing you, you protected her from that attacking squirrel and made her feel extra special when she broke her leg. You kept her company and nobody had to ask you. You just knew. You always knew how to make things right and when to comfort all of us. The kids are heartbroken too. Nobody is more devastated than me though. You were my absolutely beautiful fur baby. I wish I would have been there with you when you past. You didn't deserve to be alone. Mommy should have been with you. You left though and I went to let you in but you still weren't out there. Mr.Green found you in front of his house though and he was just as hurt. He labeled you the neighborhood cat. Everybody in our neighborhood loved you Tiger.You don't know how much of an impact you had in everyone's lives. My special Tripod baby you touched everyone. The whole neighborhood will miss your presence, you can never be replaced, ever. Lord knows I want to hold you in my arms again so bad, but I guess I have to wait. I know I'll see you again. Mommy will cuddle with you again one day. I love you so so much my sweet boy and I imagine you running with your four legs once again in the most beautiful fields. You are free baby. You're perfect and free.

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    Joe Sucec 

    8 months ago

    Morris, my 17 yo Maine Coon passed this morning. I've been through everything with this animal. Two heart attacks, deaths in the family (he found his adopted sister's body four years ago), relationship and financial ups and downs. My little homey will be missed.

    Morris had a big personality, Very friendly; headstrong but not malicious. The next days and weeks will be difficult.

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    8 months ago

    My little love Osci died in January, around 4 and a half months ago. The grief is very real and very painful. And I've started to realise it's not going anywhere, it's here to stay. There's nothing that can replace my beautiful friend. One other poster on here said 'I loved them more than anything' and it's true for me too. I told Osci every day that he was (is) the best cat in the world and I love him more than anything.

    It's a done deal, my cat was the meaning of love for me, he has died and now I feel such a mixture of pain and wonder that he even existed. My boy, my great beauty, my magic dream cat. I'm not an aura seeing person but nonetheless I felt the glow of an aura around my darling and he made me smile from the inside every single moment I was with him.

    I miss smiling like that, I miss my little love and all the joy we share.

    It is heart breaking, but I know it's wonderful too to have had that.

    I wasn't ready to let my baby go, it was unexpected and very sad circumstances.

    What do I do now with all these feelings I just don't know.

    I love you heart and soul my pickles, you'll always be my love.

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    8 months ago

    Dear Callie,

    You just left us on May 1st. We haven’t stop crying and we feel lost. Your pal Buttons just roams the house looking for his friend to play with.

    You were a remarkable cat. Your communication skills were nothing short of amazing. The time you led us to a broken leg on a wood stove burning in the middle of the night. You communicated to us when your food bowl was empty or you needed more water in your water dish. How you would stay at the screen door on a warm summer day to be let out to enjoy the outdoors. You did so much for us, no wonder why we feels this way. At the end you meowed three times to say goodbye to us before your last breath. My heart sank.

    I cannot tell you how much we loved you and the hole in our lives may remain there forever but if you are at the rainbow bridge we'lI come find you when it is our time.

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    8 months ago

    I got up early, you hadn’t come to my bed for the last two weeks, preferring to lie on your big cushion. But you greeted me with a weak raspy meow. You didn’t get up and walk through for breakfast like before. I got dressed and made up shredded chicken and sardine (not allowed by vet) and took it to you. You ate the fish, of course. Even although your mouth was sore. Refused to drink, unlike the previous day, you drank half a bowl. Strange, but knew you had illnesses borne well especially this last year. You laid your head down again, squinting at me with your dimmed eyes. Wrapping you in my pyjama jacket we watched the birds pecking on the patio.You rubbed your chin along my shoulder, it nearly broke my heart. 13 years of waiting for me to come home, cuddling up on the sofa, sunbathing together, sampling tasty snacks, rubbing my feet with your chin, tickling and playing, it was nearly over. You were unwell, and a strong survival instinct was almost the only thing that held you in one piece. Before I weakened, I phoned the vet, placed you in your carrier and our last journey together began, I touched you briefly, the last time and you were already almost asleep when the kind vet brought you to me, I sang our little song, stroked your beautiful coat and you were gone. Dont know how I got home without you, You were my closest companion, reliable friend, loving pal. We had happy, funny times together, a unique emotional bond. Part of me will never heal, how will I suffer it?

  • bonniemcalvin profile image


    9 months ago from NYC

    Dear Sammy,

    I miss you so much today. You were all the sunshine in the world. I miss your sweet hugs. I hope I did the right thing for you. I didn't want you to feel ashamed that you couldn't walk to the cat box or worried that you couldn't get up and eat, and I didn't think you liked having seizures. I also could only guess that all your meowing during our last night was your way of telling me you were in pain. I'm sorry I left you in the hospital during your last week. I thought that the fluids would save your life. I thought we could both have a second chance, together. Now my second chance is all alone. I miss you so much. I want to come hug you, because that's what I do when I feel this sad, I come hug Sammy. And you're not here for a hug. I don't know what to do.

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    Paul Lane 

    9 months ago

    We just had my Cat Friend put down this "mourning"..

    Oku the Cat was a rescue and she was kept inside and in a cat run..

    She was always jumping around and one day missed her mark and crash landed hurting her right foot..

    The Vet said it wasn't a break but she went downhill fast..

    Now the pain for her is gone and I will always love her dearly..

    Oku used to tuck me in at night..

    I'm so sad and I just buried her in the back yard..

    I'm crying as I type..

    Boo hoo I miss my Oku Cat ..

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    10 months ago

    My Sweet little Marley Kitty,

    I am wrecked. My darling little geriatric pain in the rear who turned your head on a whim when some can of food didn't tickle your fancy, my demanding little comrade in arms, who could only have the finest in salami, your gone and I can't bear it. We were told a year and half ago that we would have days, maybe months with you, I couldn't bear it then. I prepared to let you go, with each anxiety ridden episode, I knew it was coming closer and closer. I never prepared for this never ceasing pain. How do I do things now that you're gone? I know I'm the one who's supposed to be strong, to take care of your Dad and keep him level, but I just loved you so much. I loved your sweet little face, and your spunky little hard as nails attitude. I joked that you drove me crazy, but really you knew I would do absolutely anything for you. Dr. Paul said letting you go was the best gift we could give you, and so we remained strong and gave you peace. I hope your spirit is somewhere filled with tweeting birdie YouTube videos, and toddler smooshed Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiches. I hope you know how absolutely, undeniably, completely, utterly, fully loved you were. I will take very good care of your Dad. I know how important he was to you, and how you worried about him, and how you held on as long as you could for him. I know you were his baby first but you became mine as well, and I feel like I lost a child. Thank you for being such a patient first pet to our little boy, you were his first word after all! Thank you for being a faithful companion, that challenged all of the normal ways one thinks when considering a cat, that always watched out for us, that always loved us just when it was right. I am so honored to have been your mommy, and I can't wait until the day I get to see you again, my sweet sweet Marley kitty! ALL of my love, and little bit of my barbacoa too, Mom

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    10 months ago

    About 1.5 years ago, my cat died. He was the first thing I’ve ever truly cared about, the only thing in fact. I would give up my life for him, I’d do so much just to have him back. I’ve never been able to forgive myself for it. I’ve never been able to rejoin society, and vowed to never date anybody or make any new friends I actually care about because I just can’t do it. I can’t. Every time I hear his name I burst into tears and end up crying off and on for hours on end. I need help because something I said wrong with me.

    IF YOU KNOW ANYTHING AT ALL THAT MAY HELP ME, PLEASE TELL ME. I don’t even know what to do with myself because while I mean seem perfectly normal on the outside, on the inside I am ruined, and ready to I’ve up my life. Thanks for reading

  • Bishop55 profile image


    10 months ago from USA

    I've been through pet loss many times. Just again now. Thank you for writing and sharing your tips and encouragement with this type of loss. I miss my Maine Coon so much. Sure wish they would live longer than we do. The house isn't right without him. But I'm thankful for the years we shared and the love he gave.

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    10 months ago

    3 years ago on Feb 26th, I had to put down my 12 year old tabby. In March 1st of 2019, I had to put down mt Persian, companion, and best friend of 16 years. It's all I can do to breathe right now. He was my first born, even though I've had 3 human kids after him. I'm so sad. So. Sad.

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    11 months ago

    I left my sphynx cat and my Bengal cat at home with my mum while I took my husband and kids to Scotland for 5 days, I accidentally turned off the heating in the house not thinking that my sphynx cat would get cold, I completely forgot what I was doing and she’s was fine until Friday (my mum seen her walking around the house).

    I walked through the door and my house was so cold, my mum had been there everyday making sure they was fed and watered and both cats was fine Friday, we arrived back Friday around 5:30pm. As I walked through the door I noticed my sphynx lying on the sofa, I ran over to see her and she was dead, I know it’s my fault and I am completely devastated and hate myself, if I had only left the heating on she would still be here, laying on my pillow with me. I will never forgive myself for what I have done.

    Why did I turn the heating off?

    Why didn’t I think of her?

    Why am I so stupid?

    I could of prevented this from happening!

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    11 months ago

    On valentines day, this year I lost my dear cat, Tiny. She lived with my aunt and uncle until they died where I inherited them. It's worth taking note that my dog (who had been with me my whole life) died a few weeks beforehand and she comforted me. A year passed and she was MURDERED because some guy thought it was a good idea to walk his GERMAN SHEPARDS without a leash. Unlike my dog, it felt... worse letting go of Tiny. I had known my dog way longer but it just... went by. It feels as though there was something with Tiny that wasn't there with my dog. Do you think that I grew so attached to her because I was grieving over my dog? Or am I just this sad because she died at 6 years of age and he died at 16? I really need to know this, I'm sad and afraid.

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    Ruckus mom 

    11 months ago

    I lost my Ruckus about 3 weeks ago. I don't know what happened to him. He just didn't come back inside, which was not his normal pattern. I was 6 years old. I rescued him as a kitten stray that had been beaten up by another cat. He was my love. We had a language that only we understood. In all honesty he was my best friend. I miss him so much. My family doesn't seem to understand just how much pain I feel for losing him. So many of my friends say, "I have a cat you can have." This hurts even more. They don't understand. I don't want "a" cat. I want my Ruckus.

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    11 months ago

    I lost my Lola on Sunday. Clipped by a car so close to home, I think she was running home for dinner, she may have heard us arrive back home she was that close. Breaks my heart.

    I got a call from the vet that someone took her to, she was killed straight away. I went to see her, I couldn't believe it was true. She could have been sleeping, I thought she might wake up. I wish she could have.

    I tried so hard to keep her safe, was always so worried when she went out. I wish I had kept her in, safe at home. But she loved going out, she didn't seem to go far and the road was restricted by speed bumps, I convinced myself she would be safe.

    So full of life, cheek and energy. Always had something to say, always had us wrapped round her paw and she knew it.

    I will miss her randomly jumping up doorframes for no reason, splayed on her back with all paws up to sleep, playing fetch with my bobbles and not being able to walk to the kitchen without my wee greedy companion.

    We are lost without her.

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    nathan grindlay 

    12 months ago from hamilton, new zealand

    hello bungle :) i miss you boy ! its been over i year since you left . i miss you every day . My life has changed , i had to leave my job due to burnout and stress , i find it hard not being able to come back to the unit , and see you and tell you all that has gone on . and the lovely look you gave me , that inquisitive unique look , of a beautiful ginger boy cat called bungle , my heart is broken without you boy , there are many changes happening in my world , i do so wish you were here to comfort me . i love you bungo , always have always will . i have to be strong moving forward bungle , can i hand over some of my worrys to you ? ..... thank you i knew you’d still be there to help me . as youve always been , i love you bungle xxxx your dad (nathan )

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    12 months ago

    Dear Mahi,

    We found your body today. I’m so sorry for everything. I know it was my fault. I know you just wanted to be with me and I let you down. I don’t know how you died. I don’t know whether you suffered, whether you tried to get home but couldn’t. I’m so fucking sorry that I didn’t look harder, that I didn’t make it to the ends of the earth to find you. I’m really, really sorry. And when I shook my fist at the sky and it rained, I felt so broken. You’ll always be my cat. My head and my heart hurt without you. I wish I’d never pushed you away on that last night we had together. I wish I’d let you sit on me and knead your class into my skin for as long as you wanted, becaus snow you’re gone and I have so many regrets. I loved having you around me. From our earlier days, where I woke up at night with you by my side, to our later days where you would provide the comfort I needed to escape my life difficulties.

    You’re irreplaceable, Mahi. And I’m really fucking sorry I let you down. My life will never stop hurting, even though i know you have. I miss your tiny body curled in my arms, your purring and drooling and nips. I don’t have any more tears to cry, Mahi, but I trust I’ll meet you at the rainbow bridge. I really love you. And you meant the world to me.

  • Abby Carrier profile image

    Abby Carrier 

    13 months ago from Atoka Tennessee

    It’s Christmas. My cat, Drogon, came to be apart of our family one year ago. Drogon was born on Halloween and was an all black cat.

    I have to say I’ve never met such a cool and fun laid back cat in my life. Drogon lived with my mom to be my niece’s cat, though, he was truly all of our cats.

    I’m so sad to say Drogon went missing last night and when he didn’t show up for his breakfast this Christmas morning we knew something was wrong.

    My dad went out searching for him and found his (almost unrecognizable) body across the busy highway that’s next to my parent’s house.

    My dad did not want to confide in me, however, I found out he was hit by an eighteen wheeler and was likely killed on impact.

    There was not enough of him to bring back to the yard to bury so my dad buried what he could on the side of the highway.

    Needless to say I’m absolutely devastated. Even though Drogon didn’t live with me he was one of my cats. He had such a fun and chill personality. There will be no way to replace such an awesome cat.

    We only had him for a year but he has left such profound paw prints on our hearts.

    Drogon, I miss you so deeply and I don’t know how to cope with your loss, especially, on what should be the most happy time of the year.

    I loved watching you grow and chase bugs around during the summer.

    You were regal, handsome, relaxed, playful, sweet, and just a wonderful cat in every way.

    I wish I could’ve protected you and I pray you didn’t suffer.

    We will not forget you, Drogon, and you will live on in our memories.

    I will look for you over the rainbow bridge. Stay close to Patches for me! I love you little dragon! I can’t bear not seeing you hang from the back door screen. You were taken way too soon from us. Wait for us my little dragon. I’ll keep you forever in my heart until we meet again.

    This will be the saddest Christmas I’ll ever know.

    Drogon the dragon kitty - Oct 31,2017 - Dec 24/25, 2018

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    G St Clair 

    13 months ago

    Dear Jack,

    Where to begin? I miss you terribly, crying almost daily. I am sorry I had to take you to the vet in that cat carrier you hated so much. Looking back, I think I could have taken you there without it. But I wasn’t quite thinking right as I believed you were in pain and scared. This broke my heart. It still does.

    Everything seemed ok Friday night, except you didn’t eat all of your treats. Looking back, that may have been happening for a couple of weeks. When i woke up on Saturday morning, you looked like you did every morning, sleeping in your cat bed. At least until you made a horrible yowling sound that I can still hear and still turns my blood cold. When I saw you had urinated in your cat bed I knew something was terribly wrong. You were limp like a rag doll. I didn’t know what to do. Then you had what seemed to be a horrible seizure, then went limp again. At this point I am not sure if you were responsive or were understanding what was happening. It scared me as I never, ever wanted you to feel pain.

    Taking you to the vet seemed to take hours in the car. I tried to comfort you the best I knew how. Your vet, Dr. Downs was always a good vet and I trusted him when he said you were unresponsive. It was at this point I knew it was time. I didn’t want you to suffer. Not at all. Never.

    I honestly knew this day was coming after you were diagnosed with lymphoma, but I don’t think the message made it from my head to my heart. I never expected what happened to happen. You had survived diabetes for 7 years. Was it my fault? Did you suffer because of me? I don’t think I will ever know, which makes this more difficult for me because the mere thought breaks my heart.

    Since the day you picked me at the shelter until the day you passed 15 years later, I loved you more then anything. You were there for me for so many things, so many down times. The thing I always wanted you to know was that when I took you to the vet for an exam or a teeth cleaning I would always be back to take you home. It was the reason I donated the carrier at the vets office as I could not bare to bring it home without you in it.

    So now I wait for word that I can go pick up your ashes for a final return home, where you will sit in a place that overlooks everything here in your kingdom.

    As time passes, I hope to find another companion. Not a replacement, but a compliment. A kitty that you would have liked. This companion will never replace you as I will never forget you. I hope this pain passes as I don’t think you would want this for me any more then I wanted you to be in pain, or sad, or scared.

    I love you Jack the Cat. I miss you so much. Rest In Peace my dear kitty.


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    nathan grindlay 

    13 months ago from hamilton, new zealand

    hello bungle :) its been a year and a month or so since you passed . Doesn’t get any easier without you . im on stress leave from work ,i dont know if ill go back . but i do know i miss you every day . Even when im not missing you subconsciously i am . its coming up to xmas , i celebrated the first one with out you , for you :) i dont think i can do it again . i miss you sooooo much , you were my life . Looking forward to seeing you every day was a beautiful routine . i dont think ive ever loved another soul as much as you . we were on the same wavelength you and i :) . i visit your resting place most sundays and we talk , your in my parents back garden along with fred , ziggy , eric , ginger , and bob the bird all chilhood and my parents cats , oh and jessie she was beautiful youd have got on well with her , so your in good company , just not mine . im sure ill see you again bungle , you are beautiful , i love you . Merry xmas my friend , all the love and hugs in the world your dad (nathan) xxxxxxxxxxx

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    Tuong Van 

    13 months ago

    Sweetie, my baby girl, I love you and miss you so much. It's been a month and I can't stop feeling guilty about not choosing the right vet for you. You brought so much love and laughter into our lives and we will never forget you. I hope you are running around, having fun with furry friends on the rainbow bridge. I pray to have a chance to see your smiling face again someday.

    Mom & Dad & your brother Tom love you. Always.

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    13 months ago

    It has been two months since my little Angel was gone. I miss him so much. I couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, lost 10 pounds in 2 weeks and now I am feeling so empty. I dreamt him sometimes. I was wondering maybe one day he will come back. I thought things will change better as time moves on, but it didn't.

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    beverley Chapman 

    13 months ago

    Let me tell you about my gorgeous cat Brutus - i adopted him and had him for 16 years he was 25 years old. He left us on friday his usual morning meow was not there instead he was choking rasping breathing and just staring. He had thyroid and kidney issues and very skinny . He let me know ot was his time. The vet team came out and they were just lovely. He is gone my darling boy and the emptiness in my heart is unbearable. We were tuned into each other my animal soul mate. I cry in fits and starts i just want him back in my arms i am so lost x

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    13 months ago

    Minyi, I miss you so much. I didn’t expect it to happen now, but I knew it’s going to come sooner or later.

    You came into my life when my parent’s marriage started to fall apart. You were the only solace for me as a teen during the daily fights I had to listen to.

    You were the only being I could connect to those years, and I am convinced if I wouldn’t have had you, the damage the family situation caused would have been much bigger. I thank my sanity for you, darling.

    I moved away 7 years ago and then moved abroad 5 years ago and we started to see each other less and less, but I never stopped missing you. My first question towards my mom was always to know how you are doing.

    I was always afraid you will leave us at a time I won’t be able to get on a plane and be there with you.

    My mom’s heart condition put a lot of pressure on me, but somehow I always thought the reason why you are sitting on her chest is to protect her heart. They say cats are purring in a frequency what heals bones and also muscle - her heart muscles are extremely weak and I tend to think you weren’t just there cause of the body heat - you developed this habit of cuddling up on her chest at quite an old age.

    When I got home on the 8th of November, 2 weeks passed in a robot mode, utterly worried about Mom and the outcome of the operation.

    You were there, as always, calming me.

    Although i saw you lose muscles it wasn’t sudden and it’s normal at an old age. Although you had kidney issues and you hated the renal food so we couldn’t keep you on a diet, you looked healthy. You couldn’t jump too high anymore but you ate, played, and sleeped. A lot. :)

    Whenever I let you out I secretly watched what are you doing and I was so happy to see that at the age of 17 you were having your five minutes of going crazy, running around and climbing on the tree. I was so proud of you, I still am.

    That night, I was watching youtube videos on my phone when I heard you fell from the radiator. I should have jumped immediately but I waited a second to stop that stupid video. Then I pushed you up holding your butt to get out from behind of the radiator. You went to the corridor and sit there. I followed you and calmed you down, though you didn’t seem too stressed.

    Then I got you up in my arms, gave you kisses and walked back in the room and placed you on the bed.

    I lay down and as usual, showed you to come to my chest and you curled up there.

    Whenever the radiator let out a noise you looked at it stressed and angry but I was there and comforted you.

    Then after about half an hour I decided to make a video call to hear about my boyfriend who was 1400kms away. This always bothered you but you have other sleeping spaces so I wasn’t too concerned about it.

    You decided to go out. It was 11:30PM. Wasn’t entirely unusual and I knew the reason for it so I let you go. When you were in the garden door, you winced - I though it’s because of the birds who started to chill in our garden because of the birdhouse others put out. It was dark, so I couldn’t see. Then you left to the right, as always.

    I went back to videochat and was watching youtube, and when 30 minutes have passed I went out seeking for you. There were two men talking out there, but didn’t focus too much on them, I was calling you. You didn’t come, I got a bit nervous, but this has happened before. It was midnight already. I tried 4 more times till 7AM but you didn’t show up. I knew it’s a very bad sign. You did disappear before but as you got older this was extremely rare, especially in that cold. I went out in the morning and searched for you in the garden, without luck.

    My sister came around noon and we conducted another search, but found no sign of you. I did this again the next day, out out posters, was calling you several times each day, even today, although it’s been 5 days now and I know you crossed the rainbow.

    You spent 17 years and a month with us, and you were the purest source of joy, you were my baby. I never managed to get attached to a person as I got attached to you, Minyikém.

    I have bad conscious disturbing you that night which led to your last walk in the garden.

    I don’t know what happened with you but I know it was unexpected.

    My heart breaks and I’m grieving your absence deeply. I know so is my mom, and she will even more when she comes home to the empty flat. You were her life partner in the past years. And my soulmate for a life.

    I hope you didn’t suffer much and I am sorry that I couldn’t find you and help you, I feel responsible.

    17 years - you stayed with me longer than my dad, and ironic enough I felt closer to you than to him.

    My heart is void, you were my child, my one and only.

    Rest in peace baby boy, we’ll see each other again one day. Love you so much.

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    Bonnys Dad 

    13 months ago

    My 5 year old cat Bonny was eating less and less, she seemed dehydrated and spent most of her time in cool places. I took her to the vet and she was diagnosed with renal failure.

    I spent the last two months keeping her going. Subcutaneous Fluids, Magnesium, Potassium and a Renal diet. When that failed we put her on anti nausea medication, and when that failed appetite stimulants. when that stopped working, I tried hand feeding her, but she was in so much pain after eating. I spoke to the vet and we decided it would be best to put her down.

    I made the appointment and spent the morning cleaning up all her stuff, brushed her and wiped her down with some cat wipes. I even put out some glasses of water for her to tip over, even sick she still managed to make a mess. :)

    We had the appointment for 3pm, I don't know how I made it but I got Bonny there. She was so sweet, even the vet cried a but when she passed. The anesthetic went in, it was so quick, she let out once sweet grunt ans she was gone. The vet gave me a moment with her, I tucked her legs in and closed her eyes. I left her covered on a cat blanket on the exam table. She was so still.

    I'm so sad right now, I find myself missing holding her. The way she mewed at me when charging towards me and meowed when jumping up. This was a small gentle cat with a huge presence. My home seems so empty and cold without her.

    Bonny did have a sister. A much quieter cat a couple of years older. She knew when I came in the door something was wrong. She had never been so affectionate, and shes been so clingy since.

    I keep wondering if I could have done more. Let her die naturally, payed for more treatment. The vet said there was more we could do but it just would have been a bandaid and she had already been sick for so long.

    I miss my wee Bonny girl, she was so sweet, I look at her in pictures and videos and she looked so healthy.

    It hurts so much but I feel so lucky to have had such a sweet little cat in my life.

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    14 months ago

    My beautiful girl has just been diagnosed with terminal cancer. I probably only have a few days left with her and my heart is breaking. 16 years of comfort, play and love is just not enough.

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    14 months ago

    Our Maine coon of 10 years passed away today. Last week she stopped eating and we found out one of her kidneys had failed. The other one was not strong enough to take over and she got worse so fast. She left us peacefully at home with my mom and sister, I was not there because I am abroad for studies. I spent last weekend with her and I am so glad I did, I only regret not staying a little longer to be there for the final bit. I miss her so much already :( I hope she enjoyed her time with us as much as we did.

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    Tuong Van 

    14 months ago

    Sweetie, my baby girl, I love you and miss you so much.

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    Tuong Van 

    14 months ago

    Dear Sweetie girl, you passed away on Sunday 18 Nov 2018. You were at the hospital alone, without Mom nearby for which I am so regret. I visited you earlier in the morning but you were so weak, no longer recognizing Mom and Dad. I can't stop crying. You love me so much. You cling to me so much when you were in pain the last few days but I'm powerless. You were so young, only 5 months old. So happy were Mom and Dad when all four of us, you and your brother Tom, posed for Mom's birthday on Oct 30. Then just 3 weeks later you was gone forever. Now no one lay waiting on the table to greet me when I come home after work, waiting for me to press the doorbell then jump down to greet me. I see you in every corner of our house, but you aren't really there. Your brother Tom is looking for you everywhere. He's done nothing wrong, so please comfort him for us. Today I learnt that I might have chosen the wrong vet for you. Did I hurt you so much out of ignorance? Did I cause your death? Will you ever forgive me? Mom and Dad will never stop loving you.

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    nathan grindlay 

    14 months ago from hamilton, new zealand

    hello bungle :) today is the day one year ago you passed , it was a Sunday the 12 th November . You slept with me a while , then you went to the spare bed . With the comfy new blanket that you loved . When i got up and looked in the spare room , there you were looking up at me with that inquisitive look , then the smile ready to start your day , even though you could hardly get off the bed . you’d grown old and distinguished . i knew this day was coming for over a year , the vet had given you much less time , but as usual bungle you defyed the odds . you had your breakfast , and then you ate mine :) weet bix and milk , i filmed you eating it , you loved it . i decided to let you do your own thing , before taking you do the vet , you lay in the sun in the door way , then went out and lay in the bushes , i wrote to you in my journal , cried and contemplated what i would do, without the beautiful soul that was you , that had entered my life over a decade earlier . when it was time i found you sleeping in the sun, you looked tired but as usual happy to see me . You went to the vet with no fuss , as wed done it many times , i held you and told you how much i loved you , and how much you helped me , and not to be afraid as you left , we buried you in my parents back yard , we played songs and all the people who loved you were there , i will see your resting place today and place flowers on it , i love you boy , and know everything i did , i did for you , i didnt want you dying without me , or not being able to find you , id to much love and respect for you , you helped me so much with life and living it , you were the greatest cat / soulmate ever and my life was so much richer for having you in it . thank you for choosing me :) . hare ra , kia kaha , my brave strong boy . i will love you for the rest off my life , and never ever forget you bungle , and the people you touched along the way will always remember you . thank you for being a part of my life , i will see you again xxxxxxx if love could have saved you , youd have lived forever , love dad xxxxx (nathan) .thank you to everyone who has contributed to this page , it makes me feel less alone , and im so sorry for everyones loss.

  • Deku2018 profile image


    14 months ago

    Deku, I miss so much my sweet baby boy. You were only 7 months old, but since the day we picked you up at 8 weeks we were in love with you. Daddy's heart breaks for you. I never see him cry but he broke down and can't bear the pain. I wish we had more time with you. You werent even one year. You didnt get the chance to see us put up our Christmas tree. You would have loved the lights and ornaments. I want you back. I want to hear your sweet meows throughout the house when I wasn't in your sight. I wish you were to beg for food along side Luna (our Samoyed) when we cooked or ate our meals. You became like a little puppy learning from Luna. I see you everywhere, but then again I don't. I hate going or looking at the backyard where you are buried, because you shouldnt be in the ground. You should be here with me, in this warm house, cuddled on my legs. My sweet boy, Im sorry you were so sick these last few days. Mommy knew something was wrong and you weren't your usual spunky self. I took you to the vet and learned quickly your prognosis was grim. Daddy rushed to the vet and Meme left work to come see you at the vet. I couldn't bear to see you take your last breath, so I held and kissed you immensely and told you how much I love you and walked out the door. I wanted to run back inside and hault everything. Daddy held me back. Deku, life will never be the same without you. This house will never be the same without you. Why God did you take him from us? Why would you give him leukemia as a kitten? He had so much to live for, so much more love to receive. I can't sleep well my Deku. I just hope you are watching over us, please have fun on the rainbow bridge. I miss you baby boy, I will see you again. xxxxx Mommy

  • LeviRdz profile image


    14 months ago

    Lost my 14 year old little fluff 3 weeks ago. Had her since she was a 2 month white and gray fur ball with the bluest and most beautiful eyes ever existed. I was 11 and she was my first love. The first thing I acknowledged to really love.

    I can’t understand where I got the strength to let her go. I still struggle convincing myself it was a gift given with love. On her last day I took her to my grandma’s yard she loved when she was young and smelled the flowers and enjoyed the sun. We played for the last time with a ribbon and cried my eyes out as she only managed to clumsily move her paw a couple times.

    A few minutes before it was time to go, she lay down on my bed and stretched her body. She looked so in peace and relaxed. I think it was her way to say “it’s ok, I had a good life”. Moments later she died in my arms.

    I still look for you. I wish thear your sweet song or to see you again in your old red chair. I can’t concieve getting older and not having you next to me. I lost fear on death just thinking it’d be a shot at seeing you again.

    I miss holding you and kissing your head. I miss you always looking to sleep on me or my clothes. I know I had the fortune for you to chose me as your favorite person.

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    nathan grindlay 

    14 months ago from hamilton, new zealand

    hello bungle my friend , i miss you very much today . Next monday the 12th of november will be one year since your passing . ive missed you terribly for those nearly 365 days ! . its so different without you bungle . i still look for you . ive placed solar lights on the fence in case you get lost when you visit from the rainbow bridge , sometimes i cant feel you here anymore . i know your with your new friends at the rainbow bridge, and youll always be here for me . i cant play cricket at the mo im to scared of getting injured , i dont know whats wrong with me my friend , i need you to talk to , i talk to you every morning before i go to work and ask you to keep me safe ,and bring me back to you , ive started feeding the birds with birdseed out the back , youd of loved it :) i miss you so much , my heart still hurts , if loved could have saved you my dear friend youd surley have lived forever , i love you with all my heart and soul and long to see you again , goodbye my bungle , love dad (nathan) xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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    14 months ago

    Oh Arya. I miss you so much. I doesn't seem real. I see you everywhere and I just can't imagine you not being here. Your dad and I are better people because you were here. Every moment of caring for you was an absolute pleasure. We're so grateful for the marks you left on our lives, our hearts and all the furniture you scratched up.

    You are so, so loved and I'm so, so sorry we couldn't do more for you.

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    14 months ago

    My little angel passed away last week in China. I am in Canada. My parents was taking care of him. I had him for 3 years. Another 3 year he was at my parents' home. I met him when he was a stray cat, very shinny and unhealthy. I decided to give him a home. He is the best cat ever. Everyday when i went home, he greeted he at the doorway. Every night he only cuddled with me. If i was not around the bed, he would simply stay on sofa. He was a great friend and family. I love him. My parents didn't let me know my little buddy went away forever. I feel so sad and feel something lost in my heart. I am so afraid he was lonely and cold when it was the last time for him. I feel so guilty i didn't take care of him just because i am overseas. I know he always stay at 2nd floor with my parents. But the day he passed, he went to the 3rd floor where my room is. His name is Dahuang. I shall always remember him. I won't have another cat. It just hurts so much.

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    14 months ago

    megancw, I feel for you. We have had this silly little kitten for 4 years and her health all of a sudden started to decline. She has always been skinny, but it has gotten worse - over the last week. We took her to the vet 2 months ago and were told she was ok. Over the last day, she stopped eating and became very lethargic. We took her in today...checked her in to the hospital and they called. She might have problems with her intestines, cancer, all sorts of others things they just do not know. Unfortunately, they cannot even take a sonogram. We are visiting her later, but if she does not improve within 24 hours...well, we are not happy with the suggestions of course. But, we do not want her to suffer. It is so difficult. On top of all of that, I just shattered my wrist (operation) then 2 weeks later had to have my prostate removed because of cancer. Other than recovery, I am fine. But this is too much. We do have 3 other little boys, and they are feeling it. So, I do feel for you. Breaks my heart. Be well and be patient. I suppose the greatest thing is we gave our cats a great life. Sometimes, that helps.

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    15 months ago

    I am beyond devastated and at a total loss for words. Last night, after a normal day of cuddling and eating and playing around the apartment, my Jack came up to me meowing and all of the sudden he went to walk toward me and he fell over in what appeared to be a seizure and died within seconds. He was gone before I even had a chance to pick him up and hold him. It was completely unexpected in every way, he was only a year and three months old. I had him since he was a baby, he had always seemed and been so healthy, was an indoor cat, gave no indication of anything wrong, loved to play fetch with my hair ties constantly, would play for hours and then curl up on my lap or chest. Even that day he had seemed completely fine. I feel as if a part me will always be missing. I wish the immense love I have for him had been enough to keep him here with me, but I believe he is in a happy place and I cannot wait to be with him one day again. I loved him more than I could have ever known was possible and it’s hard to believe he is gone. I just don’t understand and can’t wrap my mind around him leaving me so soon, I thought we still had so much time. I still looked for you every time I turn around and swear I can hear your meow in the air. I haven’t been able to accept it yet and only wish I could have been able to have him by my side for longer, been able to protect him from whatever took you so quickly and suddenly. I will love you forever my Jackie boy, you will always have a part of me. I will never forget you and I can’t wait to hold you and dance with you in my arms again. Forever yours my Jackie babe, M.

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    nathan grindlay 

    15 months ago from hamilton, new zealand

    hello bungle , my friend :) its coming up to a year since your passing , 12 November a Sunday , i remember it like yesterday . i miss you so much bungle my heart aches , its just so empty ! the void you left is undeniably huge . i cant fill it with anything . im struggling a bit boy , life just seems that much harder without you in it . i have people in my life but im just lonely , i long to see you again and pick you up and cuddle you. Your love was its own reward for me , best in show that was you bungo , perhaps i need to move from this unit and make a fresh start , so many memories to cherish , but at the mo they just make me sad . i love you so much bungle and miss you even more . if love could have savd you youd surely have lived forever . love always your dad , nathan xxxx

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    15 months ago

    My baby Mindy was put to sleep 3 days ago. She was 15 years old and had renal failure. The day started with a sign, she was ready to go, when she got in the bed with me and gave me the best kneeding in a long time. We sleep, she near my head, for a couple of hours. Later that day, when I returned from an appointment, there she was, on the window table, very still. She hates the dogs and usually stays away from them. But that day, she sat there, as if waiting for me. I knew it was time. She had a low growl, when I rubbed her back hind area.

    She is in my heart forever. After her burial, I wanted to dig her up, thinking that maybe the shot the vet gave her didn't really put her to sleep. I didn't, but I feel like maybe she woke up and died again in that dark hole. Or maybe it's the hole in my heart, she took with her. My job is giving me a meeting with my manager for not coming to work for the last 2 days. I don't care right now. I've lost my baby girl, who gave me so much affection. This is a pain, I'm going to have to live with now.

    No fun to be in this club. Friends have given their sympathy, but I couldn't eat for 2 days. She was more than a cat, she was my baby.

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    15 months ago

    I miss my kitten more than I've ever missed anything or anyone else in my life. I let him out last week thinking it was safe because he wasn't as small anymore and we were in the middle of nowhere, and he was run over.

    I keep getting the feeling that he'll just turn up at his water bowl or jump on my lap. When I hear another cat sniffle or purr, for a split second I expect him to be there.

    He was easily the most easy-to-live-with cat I've ever seen. He never meowed, never growled, never hissed, never banged on anything. Sometimes he purred, and he sniffled a lot. He loved to play with my other, older kitty, but his passion in life was naps, and warmth. He could spend hours sleeping in the sun or in my lap, and he was so clingy, but in a nice way. He followed me everywhere. As soon as I got up, he'd be walking and sitting between my feet, and sometimes he'd try to climb up my legs. I haven't found it in me to cook anything since he died because I know he won't be sitting between my legs, waiting for me to feed him something.

    My other kitty also seems to miss him dearly. They did everything together, and to see him now do it alone breaks my heart. He's been meowing a lot more and eating less, and he does things that his friend used to do, like sit on my shoulder or climb up my legs. The first day we got home after the kitten died, he sniffed around, sat in the litter box I'd forgotten to clean before we left, and cried for 30 minutes straight.

    I feel so guilty for letting him out that day. He was still so small, and I should have known better. I'd do anything at all if I could have him back, and I know I can't, and home doesn't feel like home without him.

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    15 months ago

    Its my first time on this platform and its the first time im opening about it.. My cat pet cum my child Snow the most amazing and gorgeous in its own way.. He passed away when he was just 9 months old that it.. It was soo shocking for all of us we couldnt just hold it back.. One fine day we took him to stroll in our backyard and he ate some grass there after that we saw some changes in him meowing all morning the next day for an hour and then he was just soo normal after that soon my mom realised in noon that he is no more.. It was shocking for me, he used to be my alarm clock every morning waking me up with his kisses on my face... I used to kiss him soo much until he gets annoyed i just missss all those little things soo much! I have been crying since that day i dont know if i can even get over him, i cant even think of another cat right now... He had become my habit and i was soo obsessed over him... Its just so tough right now to not think about him, i close my eyes either i remember his sweet little mischivious eyes and that cute nose or else i remember the time when i came from my work and saw him lying on the floor with no life in him..

    i feel soo guilty amd bad that i cudnt be with him when he was taking his last breath though my mom was there but i couldnt be..

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    15 months ago

    Last year around this time I lost my home and had to place my cat Mia, and my dog Jaye with a woman who had a small farm. I was getting them back once I was back on my feet. Mia didn't do well at this place. She was frightened and wouldn't eat. I went by and saw her a few weeks before she died and she perked up and ate when she saw me. I told her how sorry I was that she was there and that I would come get her back soon. I was depressed and suicidal. When I left her for the last time I'll never, ever forget how she looked at me. A few weeks later I called about her and the woman said she had died. She says she didn't tell me because of my depression. I often wondered if they mistreated her. They were happy with Jaye but I feel they did something to her. I have nothing but guilt about the passing of Mia. It was my fault.

    If I hadn't lost everything she would still be alive today. I pray she forgave me and that they didn't hurt her because she peed on some of their clothing. Sometimes it feels like the grief and guilt will never ease. It was my fault she was there in the first place. I'm just praying she passed peacefully and not in fear or was being hurt which I suspect would be the case. Any tips to get over this grief I have would be greatly appreciated. My hope is that Mia forgave me in the end and understood that I didn't want to leave her. That I was coming back for her. I also pray they didn't hurt her. She was all I had.

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    15 months ago

    Thank you for this site. Last week I had made a very hard decision to put down my beloved cat Ginger. He is 13yrs old. He is diabetic, had a heart murmur and fluid in his lungs plus dehydrated and has severe renal failure. He is such a loving cat smart because he would stand on his hind legs and try to try the door knob with his front paws just to see me. he does not eat not unless he knows I am up even though the food bowl is there. During winter time I would throw a snow ball and he chase it. When I got sick with my thyroid he sat at my throat as if telling me here is where the problem is. last year I got a stomachache that had sent me to the emergency. they did some test could not find anything. When I got home Ginger sat on my tummy. Ginger was never a lap cat but when he does sit on me it is where the area of my illness. I miss him so much. And yes the guilt and the second guessing that goes to my head over and over again is what hurt me most if I had done this done that could I have given him more ltime with me. This grief is debilitating me and now I am getting sick. The rest of my cats seems to be grieving as well specially Jacqui who is also close to him. Thank you for this site that now i can find support for my grief. Thank you Ginger for the wonderful times together.

  • Dawn Hannock profile image

    Dawn Hannock 

    16 months ago

    I can’t stop sobbing tonight. I miss my little girl Oreo so much. She went so fast. Not even a week yet and it feels like she’s been gone longer. I hate cancer so much. I am a survivor which Oreo helped me through last yr but unfortunately I couldn’t do the same for her. Went through her fast. I don’t know how to handle this.

  • Dawn Hannock profile image

    Dawn Hannock 

    16 months ago

    I'm in deep pain over the loss of my pet Oreo who passed away this past Sunday on 9/23/2018. I had her for 11 yrs and it's so very hard to accept that she is gone. I keep wanting to look for her. She's sit with me in the morning while I had my coffee and come sit in my lap so I could tell her how pretty she was and how much mommy loved her. In the evening at bedtime she'd sit on my lap in bed while I read for awhile. This was our ritual. I am so lonesome without her. I thought she was constipated and took her to the Vet only to find out she had lymphoma and had a mass in her abdomen and 2 smaller ones in her liver plus through her intestines. I was devastated. I was told she might live another month or two. They gave her a steroid shot which helped her eat for a few days plus pills which were hard to get down her but she went back to not eating or even drinking and it was breaking my heart watching her like that so made the hardest decision of my life and brought her back to the Vet to be euthanized. I felt so guilty afterwards and still do really that perhaps I did it to soon. Looking at one pic of her while sick I know deep down it was for the best. Just so damn hard to accept when it all happened so fast. She got me through my own cancer last yr and was by my side all the time and would put her little paw on my cheek and lay next to me when I was sick of my chemo. Just not fair she got cancer too and it took her from me. I just don't know how to cope with her being gone. I miss her so much.

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    16 months ago

    Lost my beautiful 21 year old tabby Hackney last week. He just sick and died in a few days. He helpled me through the grief of loosing both my brother and dad and was a strong connection to them both. Will miss him so much but I am trying to be greatful for having him so long x

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    Daria Bermudez 

    16 months ago


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    Flora 175 

    16 months ago

    It’s been six weeks since my beautiful tabby cat, Simba has been gone. We had him for 18 years. He went out one night to go potty and never returned. We have exhausted all efforts to find him.

    Simba wasn’t a lap kitty. But he was a loving companion who filled our lives with his love and sweetness. He was long past the hunting phase of his life so he only brought us a dead bird this last year. We praised him and thanked him.

    We don’t know where he is or how he died. That is the worst part. I constantly go to the front and back of the house hoping he will be there. But no. My heart hurts so much. I have never had a cat before Simba and at my age never will again. The grief is not getting better. I am numb. My house feels like an empty shell.

    For those of you who are fortunate enough to be able to care for another kitty with no resrictions, I beg of you to go to the shelter and adopt a suitable kitty. It won’t take the place of your last cat, but it will fill a void and give you back the routine of caring and loving another homeless kitty who needs you

    Just do it. Do it for me because I can’t. I love You my Simba boy. I am so sorry I wasn’t there for you to protect you from what I can’t conceive happened to you. Oh god.

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    Rayne K 

    16 months ago

    To say she was the best cat I've ever had was an understatement. She never clawed anything, except her scratchers, was incredibly loving and loyal. She would always greet me at the door when I came home like some people's dogs do. She slept with me everyday and to think of sleeping without her brings about physical pain. She truly saved me from extreme depression and was with me during many of the toughest time I have experienced. I honestly feel I would not be here today if not for her love, devotion and companionship.

    She gave me a reason to get up, to love, to try and function as a normal person would.

    To sit here and not see her come running in from the kitchen or following me to the cabinet that had her treats in it is almost unbearable. I thought about 4 years ago I was going to lose her to an attack of pancreatitis, but fortunately, she pulled through and lived until today.

    From the moment you came into my life as a day old little precious runt, and rode in my purse to work at the vet clinic for the first 2 months of your life until your last breath today-I love you and will keep you in my heart forever.

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    Rayne K 

    16 months ago

    Sorry for everyone who has lost their pets. I lost my almost 17 year old cat today who I have had since the day she was born (mother abandoned her). The pain it absolutely outrageous and I feel broken and numb, at the same time.

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    16 months ago

    I arrived here as I had to put my beautiful Maine Coon rescue cat down on Sept 19th.

    It came completely out of the blue; cancer of the spine and he was only 7 and a half.

    Heathcliff was the light of our lives and I am quite literally heartbroken.

    I don't know how I am going to get over this.

    I brought him home and buried him in the garden which has given me some comfort as I go and talk to him all the time.

    I feel ao empty

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    16 months ago

    I lost my 16 year old cat a few days ago. I had to euthanize her. She was in renal failure. I miss her so much. I know it was the right thing to do but I feel guilty that I should have done it sooner. I miss her begging me for a treat

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    16 months ago

    Glad I found this. Pogo ate anti freeze or washer fluid. We kept him in the house for 2days he couldn’t eat or drink as he had kidney failure. I’m wondering if there was something else I could have done. We didn’t want him to suffer and with the advice of the vet we put him to sleep. Very hard, wonderful article here as I feel all of those things. Feeling his loss. Miss him terribly.

  • NibblesLove profile image


    16 months ago

    Thank you all who've commented. It helps to know we're not alone.

    My wife and I had to put our beloved cat Nibbles down this morning. He was just recently diagnosed with cancer that had spread to his stomach, bladder, and intestines, and he was wasting away, hardly drinking or eating. He was barely 7, and I have such a mix of sadness and anger for him to be taken so suddenly and so young.

    We adopted him from a shelter just a few months after we started dating, so he's been with us almost our entire relationship. He was a lanky, feisty, and scrappy tom at first, and he earned his name Nibbles from biting our fingers! But he mellowed out as he matured and became the best cat I've ever had--and I've had many over the years.

    There's a hole in my heart this evening--Nibbles would always sit in my lap in the evenings while my wife and I read or watched TV. I keep expecting to see him peering around a corner or patiently waiting for treats by his food bowl. It's so hard to believe he's gone.

    I hope Nibbles knew how loved he was, and that he's at peace now. We'll be hurting for quite a while though... For being in our lives for such a short time, he stole our hearts thoroughly.

    For what it's worth to anyone reading this who's just gone through the same, I hope it's some solace knowing you're not alone.

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    16 months ago

    My cat jinx died today. He was very sick and only 10 years old. He had acute renal failure. I asked vet to fix him... sadly she showed me his blood work, and he was too sick. He was like my son to me, and I feel devastated. How can he die so suddenly? It's awful to lose a pet.. I'm sorry to all of you who lost pets. I miss him so much. I think he had cancer... he had a mass in his abdomen, and was sick before. My other cat that I had for 17 years was euthanized a few weeks ago.

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    Daria Bermudez 

    16 months ago


  • Alissamichelle143 profile image


    16 months ago

    I’m sorry :,(. I just lost my beloved 16 1/2 year old Midnite. She got an infection and antibiotics didn’t make her better. Then a few days ago I did an ultrasound and X-ray and was told she will die of cancer within a month. Yesterday I was going to get a second opinion, they had faxed her results to a cancer center and the center said that was no proof of cancer. That it could indeed be a large infection. Right before I took her to go, I gave her pain medication (which she hated the taste) mixed with food instead of the syringe (which she hated as well) and licked it thinking it would be yummy and she stuck her tongue out and started to have a heart attack. I’ve had her half of my life. After I lost my baby I knew that she came to me in her. She would even nurse on my shirt. I had never left her in the whole time she was alive for longer than three days because I missed her too much. I miss her smell. I miss her eyes. I miss her love.

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    16 months ago

    I just lost my cat today.he died while I was holding him.im very sad right now.

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    16 months ago

    to VerySadinMV. i just lost my baby boy to intensal Lyphoma it was such a horrible disease. took him so quickly im so broken up

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    joanne ellis 

    17 months ago

    Hello. I lost my cat yesterday I had to make that awful decision of having him put down even though I knew it was the kindest thing to do. I feel lost and heart broken. I got my lovely cat on my 18th birthday and it is my 30th next week so my head is all over the place. I have a demanding job but I still cant stop thinking about him without getting upset. Every where in the house I look I think of him. This all happened so sudden Sunday he went down hill then Yesterday just after bank holiday I paid the visit to the vets and by last night at 640 he was gone. I woke up this morning just empty and crying all the time. I would give anything to have my angel back xx

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    Miguel Bartolo 

    17 months ago

    Yesterday at night I lost my cat BEN :( I m feeling very very sad. I spent the day looking at the picture we had of him : ( ! We got him to 3 vets and they told us he had nothing wrong. In the past 2 months he only dranka once a day a few amount of water and did not eat anything at all. He used to vomit white foam. I miss him sleeping with me and my mother. I miss hin being next to me while I play playstation. I miss him asking my mother for food. I am feeling very awful ! I MISS YOU BEN

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    Angela Springer 

    17 months ago

    These stories and comments have helped me. I had to have my cat of 10 years put down today. I too, did not know that when she stopped eating that she would end up dying. I feel guilty that I did not take her to the vet soon enough. She got a hold of a frog and ate half of it, so I thought it was that that made her stop eating. Then she ate a little bit here and there, so I thought she would get better. I know she is not in pain now, but I can't help but beat myself up for not getting her to the vet as soon as I saw she wasn't eating right.

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    17 months ago

    We recently lost our two cats to intestinal lymphoma. They were brothers from the same litter and we had them for 9 and 10 years before we had to put both of them down within a year apart. It was sad losing the 1st one in October of 2017. But 4 months thereafter, his brother began showing symptoms of the same disease. We had to go through it again, administering medicines, trips to the vet, etc. He looked like he was recovering only to reverse suddenly and become very sick. We had to put the 2nd one down this past June. It has really brought sadness into our lives. I never thought I would experience such grief. Losing both of those guys so close together has left a huge whole in my heart. I try to keep busy so time can heel that wound.

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    Terra Marx 

    17 months ago

    It's been awhile since I was here and I read the newest comments here. It August 14, 2018 and as I read these the emotions flood over I. In no way does it get easier as time goes by but learn to live with it. At times I believe I hear a soft meow or see a flash of white fur. At night in bed I feel a movement and I do believe it's Kidd lying next to me. No folks, time doesn't heal all wounds. You will always miss your kidds, they were a huge part of your lives. Love is deep and passionate and hurts. November 17th 2018 will be a year of Kidd's passing and is missed as much as yesterday. I haven't gotten another cause it's still to soon and not ready to love and one day lose again. Peace to all!

  • FavoredFox profile image


    17 months ago

    I lost my childhood pet, Simon, on January 19th 2018. I still kick myself for not taking him to the vet sooner even when I noticed a change in him. He stopped hanging out with me and refused to eat dry food. When I did finally take him to the vet he was diagnosed with diabetes and kidney disease. It was treatable, but he was a 16 year old cat who didn't deserve to spend his last days being carted to and from the doctor to try various doses of things that may or may not work. I wasn't going to let him reach the point of seizing and losing control of his body. I spent one more day with him. Got him every treat he could ever want and spent every moment loving on him. I made good memories that day, and the next I held him gently in my arms as the vet injected that disgustingly happy pink liquid that stopped his heart. I miss my handsome man.

    On August 7th 2018, I had to put Shaden down as well. My 10 year old black cat. I noticed a change in her meow, and if I had brought her in to see the vet right then, then maybe I could have sparred her some suffering... But I thought it was a cold, or allergies. She was allergic to dang near everything. She was a sickly cat from the start, needing a daily dose of anti-inflammatories to keep back rodent lesions.

    When she had a complete freak out, running around the house yowling in pain when just a few minutes before she couldn't even manage a squeak. She ran until she was left panting and furiously licking herself, and she was having trouble in her back end. I had blood work done and was given pain killers and an antibiotic to give her. They didn't work. She lost control of her bladder, hardly moved, barely ate or drank. I went back and got her x-rays.

    Lung cancer.

    It must have spread to her brain. She was freaking out in ways she never had before. Shaden didn't move at the vet. She huddled down and let them do what ever was needed, but not this time. She even bit one of the techs and had to be sedated just to get the IV in.

    I got to hold her in my arms and say goodbye, but she was unconscious. The last thing she felt was panic and fear, the last people she saw were techs, and I can only hope that the last thing she could hear was me singing to her one last time before she took her last breath.

    I lost both of my babies this year. The house is quiet. Simon doesn't do his nightly yowling rounds to let all the other cats in the neighborhood know that this i his house. Shaden doesn't whine at me for dinner.

    Simon doesn't purr so loud you can hear it across the room just because he can see me. Shaden doesn't flop herself over my chest, snuggle against my side, lay next to me or get jealous of my computer.

    I have a lot of people around me who understand my grief, a lot of people who offer me support, but without my babies to keep me warm at night I feel so alone. There's never been a time in my life that I didn't have a cat, and I lost them both so close together.

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    nathan grindlay 

    17 months ago from hamilton, new zealand

    hello Bungle , my handsome sweet boy . its been a while since you left on your journey to the rainbow bridge . November 12 , 2017 . Today my dear friend i miss you terribly . though that is true of every day without you . Im run down and sick , i think thats contributing . ive forgotten what you felt like , what it felt like to hold and cuddle you , and get love from the most affectionate cat going round :} it will come back to me im sure . im still working doing the early shift , i try to stay away from the unit as long as poss because its not the same without you here . i almost looked in the cupboard were i put your eating bowls , but didnt . ive a photo of you i talk to every morning before i go to work , i ask you to look after me , come with me as i do the courier run keep me safe . its worked well so far :} thank you boy . i love you my friend , i always will , and ill never ever forget you , until we meet again bungo my boy , fair the well , xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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    17 months ago

    Reading these stories and sharing my pain felt better thank you.

    I left the home to the hospital yesterday in a rush because I was about to pass out.I accidently left the terrace door open without noticing that my cat was in the room that leads to terrace..I can't find my baby boy since then..I've been looking and asking for him in every place possible but there is no trace.He was an indoor cat so I don't know how he'll going to find food and water.Please pray for my baby boy Pasha.

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    18 months ago

    Our cat, Jeremiah, was a soft, sweet tabby, who weighed over 20 pounds. He was a stray we'd taken in three years earlier. We had no idea how old he was, but the vet said he was probably middle-aged. He was more like a dog than a cat, never got tired of being with us and would watch for us to come home.

    A few weeks ago, he starting having episodes of shortness of breath, which, at first, we thought were panic attacks as they seemed to happen when he was stressed.

    But, the breathing difficulty worsened, and we noticed that Jeremiah, who was overweight, wasn't as energetic as he used to be. We began to think that maybe he was diabetic and suffered congestive heart failure as he seemed to improve somewhat after I put him on a low carb/low sodium diet.

    We made an appointment with our vet, but I stupidly missed it, thinking it was on another day. So we arrived on Thursday with the cat only to learn that the vet wasn't in that day, and they had to reschedule the appointment for Monday. I felt so bad about this especially since the useless trip had been hard on him.

    When we got him home, he was breathing with his mouth open, and his tongue was blue due to a lack of oxygen. I thought he was going to die that night, but after he calmed down, he recovered and seemed more like his old self later that evening.

    To my surprise, on Friday, he gave me a special gift that I will always remember. His condition had deteriorated, and he rarely got up and moved around, but that evening when I went into the laundry room--his room--I felt a wonderful, soft warmth brush against my legs. I looked down and could not believe what I saw. Jeremiah was rubbing against my legs repeatedly and seeming like his old self. I knew he was telling me he loved me.

    But, his condition quickly went downhill during the weekend with him struggling to breathe. On Sunday, for the first time, he barely touched his food. Sick with worry, I eagerly looked forward to his appointment on Monday, hoping and praying that the vet could make him better.

    We put him in his carrier and by the time we got to the vet's office, he looked near to death, his head lolling over to the side.

    The vet took one look at him and knew something was seriously wrong. He noted that Jeremiah's tongue was blue. He took Jeremiah back for x-rays, and when they returned him to the exam room, he looked like he was close to death. All of the movement and anxiety from being at the clinic was too taxing for his poor body.

    I couldn't stand to see him suffer like that.

    The vet said that there was a lot of odd pathology in Jeremiah's chest, including several tumors--this is why Jeremiah appeared obese. He said he thought Jeremiah had lymphoma and was having difficulty breathing, because the tumors were pressing into his heart, shoving it way back and compromising its ability to function.

    He said he thought Jeremiah was close to death and that it would be best if we went ahead and put him to sleep. My husband and I agreed.

    We pet him and told him we loved him as the vet administered the injection.

    I know we made the right decision, and I know there was nothing else that we could have done for him, but it was still so hard to let him go. And I'm grieving very badly for him.

    One thing that gives me comfort through this is that evening when he so lovingly rubbed against my legs. That warmth and softness was beyond words, such a cozy and special feeling, and I've thought about it often since. In retrospect, I think this was his way of saying goodbye and thanking me for loving and caring for him, a special grace from a very special cat, and for that I will always be thankful.

    I found out last night that my husband had a similar experience with Jeremiah on Friday, and that's helping him cope with the loss as well.

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    Gabriela Bee 

    18 months ago

    I want to start by thanking everyone who shared their stories. It truly has helped my grieving. Like most of you losing my beloved black baby Etch 3/4 months ago was one of the hardest things I've had to go thru. Etch has always been a fiery one. From the moment we met, I knew he was mine. I just rented this back house and found myself lonely, till etch was given to me. He was only 3 months old and boy was he rambunctious. I never went to sleep alone, to the kitchen or anywhere for that matter alone. He would greet me at the door and swap at me when I would pass him by, kissed me any chance he got. He loved chasing flies, and his toys. Poke me in the nose early in the am for his food. He had a bad accident and wasn't able to recover. I couldn't sleep for days taking care of him but just when I thought he was getting better. He kissed me one last time and collapsed in my arms. Im deeply depressed. I see him in my dreams and I envision him here with me. He was the only unconditional love I've ever known. I miss you terribly Etch!

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    Ollie Roth 

    18 months ago

    I lost my beloved Charlie yesterday. I let her outside around 11PM Friday night, and she didn't come back. Around 6PM Saturday, I started looking around the house, looking in the yard. Our two dogs directed me to a grate in the brick fence parallel to our house that had come loose (I live next to a freeway, so there's a little bit of space between the yard and the road). Threw my boots on, hopped over, and there she was, a good-sized hole in her chest. It seemed a coyote had gotten her. She'd been there all day from the look of it; she stank to high heaven, her lips and eyes had blackened, and ants and flies were everywhere. She was eight years old, 6 weeks short of her ninth birthday. I don't think I was ever so hysterical than when I saw the corpse.

    That cat was everything to me when I grew up. She became a part of my life as a kitten that had snuck into our yard a week ahead of my tenth birthday. She was always there for me, when I was sad, angry, or just felt like I had nobody in the world, she was there to comfort me. I can understand what loss like this is... it's like just being smacked in the face out of nowhere. Her sudden death has shaken me, and I'm trying to take things one day at a time, but.... I can at least find comfort in the thought that her death was relatively painless and was probably better than her withering away in a slow, painful death. Still, I just can't help but feel like I could've protected her, I could have saved her... and I didn't. We'll be cremating her tomorrow in the backyard firepit.

    R.I.P. My little baby. I'm sorry Daddy wasn't there to keep you safe...

    August 2009 - July 6-7, 2018


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