When Your Cat Dies: Gentle Tips to Heal Your Grieving Heart

Updated on May 6, 2018
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Sadie Holloway, a proud cat parent, is a strong advocate for adopting pets from animal shelters and rescue organizations.

Are you missing the love and affection of your cat who has passed recently away? Here are some of the things that I learned about pet loss and grief when my cat died. I hope these tips on coping with grief when an animal companion dies can help you, too.

Recovering from the loss of a furry friend takes time.

Coping with the pain of your cat dying can be one of the most difficult things you'll face. But with patience and gentle self-care there are things that you and your family can do to ease the pain and grief of losing your cat.

Cats can be incredibly affectionate, loving and loyal. They remind us to be playful and adventurous. They remind us to live in the moment and to love unconditionally. In many ways, our cat friends help us to be better human beings. That's why it can hurt so much when your cat dies, leaving you with an empty space in your life.

Talking to an understanding friend about all the cute things your cat did may help ease your pain.
Talking to an understanding friend about all the cute things your cat did may help ease your pain.

Grieving when a pet dies is real. Your feelings are not overly sentimental or silly. It’s OK to acknowledge your pain.

The pain of losing your cat can be devastating. It's important that you let yourself grieve. Let yourself express your sadness in whatever way feels most comfortable and healing for you. Remember, pets are an important part of our lives and losing their love, affection and companionship can be devastating. Don't be afraid to cry openly or talk about how much you miss your cat.

If you can, surround yourself with people who understand the pain and grief of losing a beloved cat. People who don't share your love of pets may not understand your sense of loss. And folks who don't identify as "cat people" may not understand that losing a cat can be just as painful as losing a dog. Part of your healing process involves acknowledging and accepting that your pain and sadness is real and valid. Having a friend or family member at your side who can appreciate the significance of your loss will help you slowly recover and heal.

Although you may feel as though no one can possibly understand the intense feelings that arise when your cat dies, take comfort in knowing that there are many more books and resources available to you than ever before. Many crisis line workers, counsellors, psychologists and health professionals recognize the pain and grief that can be triggered by the loss of pet. Don't be afraid to ask your doctor for support or a referral if you feel like your grief is becoming unmanageable.

Your other pets may be grieving too.

If you have more than one pet in your family, some of the other animals may also show signs of grief and sadness over the loss of an animal friend.
If you have more than one pet in your family, some of the other animals may also show signs of grief and sadness over the loss of an animal friend.

Do you believe that pets are capable of experiencing grief when an animal friend dies?

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Are you feeling guilty about the death of your pet? That’s OK, too. And a normal response to the loss of a pet. Try to accept that you made the best decision you could for your pet at the time.

If your cat died suddenly in an accident, succumbed to a fatal illness or had to be euthanized when her pain was intolerable and her quality of life was fading, it's normal to struggle with feelings of guilt and shame.

"Why couldn't I protect her? If I had only kept her inside that day. If only I had noticed sooner that she was looking tired and worn out."

Sometimes when we grieve we replay situations in our heads. We second guess the decisions that we made. Maybe you didn't try (or couldn't afford) every medication, treatment or special diet that was available, but you did the best you could with all the love you had in you. Take a deep breath and try to forgive yourself.

I had to make the decision to euthanize my cat. While I was devastated to let her go, I knew it was the most humane, compassionate thing I could do for her. For those who have to make the difficult decision to put an aging and sick cat to sleep, try to remember that you gave your cat the ultimate gift of a peaceful and pain-free end, a painless death that may not have been possible had your cat had to wait for a natural death.

In his book, "Going Home, Finding Peace When Pets Die," New York Times bestselling author Jon Katz offers solace to those of us who may be second guessing the choices we made at the end of our pet's life. He writes, "Focus instead on the things you gave your pet and the many things he or she gave you. The walks. The affection. The connection to other people. The shared experience journeying through parts of life together. That, not guilt or regret, is the legacy of your pet."

No Heaven will not ever Heaven be. Unless my cats are there to welcome me.

— Anonymous

Coping with your loss can only happen one day at a time. Be gentle with yourself.

A pet's death will affect the rhythm of your daily life. Old habits such as going for a walk with the dog each morning or serving the cat her evening meal can jolt you back to the reality that your pet is no longer with you. It will take time to let go of some of these old, unconscious habits.

As a writer who works from home, the days and weeks after my cat died felt long and lonely. I missed the rituals we had carved out for ourselves - the afternoon cuddle, the sly way she'd steal my warm seat whenever I got up for coffee, the loud meow from the living room calling out to me, "Where are you?" (As my cat got older and started to lose her eyesight, she needed more and more reassurance of where she was.)

After my cat passed away, I had a hard time sitting in her favorite blue chair. I felt guilty, as if I was edging her out by sitting in her seat. How could I even think of reclaiming her regal blue throne as a piece of common people furniture?

For people who were caring for sick pets, the loss of a daily care routine can be doubly heartbreaking.

It may be tempting to dismiss these feelings as just being overly sentimental, but it is important to honor your feelings for what they are. Your cat was a significant part of your life.

The video below provided me with a great deal of comfort while I grieved the death of my cat. Although it makes me cry when I watch it, knowing that my furry loved ones, all my furry loved ones, will one day meet me at The Rainbow Bridge eases the pain of losing them in the here and now.

When a family pet passes away, it's not just humans who feel the loss; other family pets may also show signs of sadness and depression. In the mid-1990s, the ASPCA conducted research on the behavioral changes in cats who lost a close cat friend. Researchers found that 46% of cats ate less than usual following the death of a fellow pet friend. And almost 70% of the cats studied showed vocal signs of grief, either meowing more than usual or becoming markedly less talkative. Many of the grieving cats slept more than usual. Many cats also became much clingier to their human companions. So, while you're coping with your grief over the loss of a pet, be mindful of other family pets who may also be going through their own grief process.

Watch for signs that your pets' health might be changing and don't be afraid to talk to your vet if the other household animals' show signs of prolonged grief and depression. (Source: Ask the SPCA; AnimalSense Magazine)

Grieving together

Thank you for being here and supporting others who are feeling sad about the loss of their cat.
Thank you for being here and supporting others who are feeling sad about the loss of their cat.

Questions & Answers

  • Our ten-year-old Maine Coon was euthanized, leaving a two-year-old rescue kitty that she did not like. Now, the two-year-old is very sad. Should I get her a younger kitten for her to have as a companion?

    I'm sorry for the loss of your 10-year-old cat, and I appreciate your questions about adopting a new kitten. The decision to get a new pet after an older fur-friend has passed away is a deeply personal one, and I can't offer specific advice on what to do in your situation. Here are some things to think about though, in making your decision about whether or not you should get a new cat to keep your surviving cat company.

    Will you have time to care for a new kitten, and make sure that your other cat will be able to interact with it safely?

    Does your cat respond well to change?

    Is your cat in good health? A cat who is sick or stressed won't likely respond well to a new cat, or any new pet.

    Is there a way to help your cat deal with the loss of her feline friend that doesn't involve getting a new cat? For example, would extra playtime, attention and mental stimulation help her deal with her feelings of sadness?

    Are the other members of your family ready to adopt a new cat? It's important that everyone in your household has been able to grieve the loss of your older cat too. Perhaps talk to other family members and see if they're ready for the responsibility that comes with bringing home a new cat.

    Have you considered adopting a mature cat as a companion for your two-year-old cat?

    As you can see, there are many things to think about before adopting a new cat as a companion for your remaining cat. It's clear that you care deeply about your kitty and I know that love and affection will help guide you in making the best decision for you, your cat, and your family. I wish you all the best in whatever you decide to do.

© 2014 Sadie Holloway

Comments

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  • profile image

    VerySadinMV 

    24 hours ago

    We recently lost our two cats to intestinal lymphoma. They were brothers from the same litter and we had them for 9 and 10 years before we had to put both of them down within a year apart. It was sad losing the 1st one in October of 2017. But 4 months thereafter, his brother began showing symptoms of the same disease. We had to go through it again, administering medicines, trips to the vet, etc. He looked like he was recovering only to reverse suddenly and become very sick. We had to put the 2nd one down this past June. It has really brought sadness into our lives. I never thought I would experience such grief. Losing both of those guys so close together has left a huge whole in my heart. I try to keep busy so time can heel that wound.

  • profile image

    Terra Marx 

    45 hours ago

    It's been awhile since I was here and I read the newest comments here. It August 14, 2018 and as I read these the emotions flood over I. In no way does it get easier as time goes by but learn to live with it. At times I believe I hear a soft meow or see a flash of white fur. At night in bed I feel a movement and I do believe it's Kidd lying next to me. No folks, time doesn't heal all wounds. You will always miss your kidds, they were a huge part of your lives. Love is deep and passionate and hurts. November 17th 2018 will be a year of Kidd's passing and is missed as much as yesterday. I haven't gotten another cause it's still to soon and not ready to love and one day lose again. Peace to all!

  • FavoredFox profile image

    FavoredFox 

    7 days ago

    I lost my childhood pet, Simon, on January 19th 2018. I still kick myself for not taking him to the vet sooner even when I noticed a change in him. He stopped hanging out with me and refused to eat dry food. When I did finally take him to the vet he was diagnosed with diabetes and kidney disease. It was treatable, but he was a 16 year old cat who didn't deserve to spend his last days being carted to and from the doctor to try various doses of things that may or may not work. I wasn't going to let him reach the point of seizing and losing control of his body. I spent one more day with him. Got him every treat he could ever want and spent every moment loving on him. I made good memories that day, and the next I held him gently in my arms as the vet injected that disgustingly happy pink liquid that stopped his heart. I miss my handsome man.

    On August 7th 2018, I had to put Shaden down as well. My 10 year old black cat. I noticed a change in her meow, and if I had brought her in to see the vet right then, then maybe I could have sparred her some suffering... But I thought it was a cold, or allergies. She was allergic to dang near everything. She was a sickly cat from the start, needing a daily dose of anti-inflammatories to keep back rodent lesions.

    When she had a complete freak out, running around the house yowling in pain when just a few minutes before she couldn't even manage a squeak. She ran until she was left panting and furiously licking herself, and she was having trouble in her back end. I had blood work done and was given pain killers and an antibiotic to give her. They didn't work. She lost control of her bladder, hardly moved, barely ate or drank. I went back and got her x-rays.

    Lung cancer.

    It must have spread to her brain. She was freaking out in ways she never had before. Shaden didn't move at the vet. She huddled down and let them do what ever was needed, but not this time. She even bit one of the techs and had to be sedated just to get the IV in.

    I got to hold her in my arms and say goodbye, but she was unconscious. The last thing she felt was panic and fear, the last people she saw were techs, and I can only hope that the last thing she could hear was me singing to her one last time before she took her last breath.

    I lost both of my babies this year. The house is quiet. Simon doesn't do his nightly yowling rounds to let all the other cats in the neighborhood know that this i his house. Shaden doesn't whine at me for dinner.

    Simon doesn't purr so loud you can hear it across the room just because he can see me. Shaden doesn't flop herself over my chest, snuggle against my side, lay next to me or get jealous of my computer.

    I have a lot of people around me who understand my grief, a lot of people who offer me support, but without my babies to keep me warm at night I feel so alone. There's never been a time in my life that I didn't have a cat, and I lost them both so close together.

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    nathan grindlay 

    8 days ago from hamilton, new zealand

    hello Bungle , my handsome sweet boy . its been a while since you left on your journey to the rainbow bridge . November 12 , 2017 . Today my dear friend i miss you terribly . though that is true of every day without you . Im run down and sick , i think thats contributing . ive forgotten what you felt like , what it felt like to hold and cuddle you , and get love from the most affectionate cat going round :} it will come back to me im sure . im still working doing the early shift , i try to stay away from the unit as long as poss because its not the same without you here . i almost looked in the cupboard were i put your eating bowls , but didnt . ive a photo of you i talk to every morning before i go to work , i ask you to look after me , come with me as i do the courier run keep me safe . its worked well so far :} thank you boy . i love you my friend , i always will , and ill never ever forget you , until we meet again bungo my boy , fair the well , xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  • profile image

    Chouchouu 

    12 days ago

    Reading these stories and sharing my pain felt better thank you.

    I left the home to the hospital yesterday in a rush because I was about to pass out.I accidently left the terrace door open without noticing that my cat was in the room that leads to terrace..I can't find my baby boy since then..I've been looking and asking for him in every place possible but there is no trace.He was an indoor cat so I don't know how he'll going to find food and water.Please pray for my baby boy Pasha.

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    bettybb 

    5 weeks ago

    Our cat, Jeremiah, was a soft, sweet tabby, who weighed over 20 pounds. He was a stray we'd taken in three years earlier. We had no idea how old he was, but the vet said he was probably middle-aged. He was more like a dog than a cat, never got tired of being with us and would watch for us to come home.

    A few weeks ago, he starting having episodes of shortness of breath, which, at first, we thought were panic attacks as they seemed to happen when he was stressed.

    But, the breathing difficulty worsened, and we noticed that Jeremiah, who was overweight, wasn't as energetic as he used to be. We began to think that maybe he was diabetic and suffered congestive heart failure as he seemed to improve somewhat after I put him on a low carb/low sodium diet.

    We made an appointment with our vet, but I stupidly missed it, thinking it was on another day. So we arrived on Thursday with the cat only to learn that the vet wasn't in that day, and they had to reschedule the appointment for Monday. I felt so bad about this especially since the useless trip had been hard on him.

    When we got him home, he was breathing with his mouth open, and his tongue was blue due to a lack of oxygen. I thought he was going to die that night, but after he calmed down, he recovered and seemed more like his old self later that evening.

    To my surprise, on Friday, he gave me a special gift that I will always remember. His condition had deteriorated, and he rarely got up and moved around, but that evening when I went into the laundry room--his room--I felt a wonderful, soft warmth brush against my legs. I looked down and could not believe what I saw. Jeremiah was rubbing against my legs repeatedly and seeming like his old self. I knew he was telling me he loved me.

    But, his condition quickly went downhill during the weekend with him struggling to breathe. On Sunday, for the first time, he barely touched his food. Sick with worry, I eagerly looked forward to his appointment on Monday, hoping and praying that the vet could make him better.

    We put him in his carrier and by the time we got to the vet's office, he looked near to death, his head lolling over to the side.

    The vet took one look at him and knew something was seriously wrong. He noted that Jeremiah's tongue was blue. He took Jeremiah back for x-rays, and when they returned him to the exam room, he looked like he was close to death. All of the movement and anxiety from being at the clinic was too taxing for his poor body.

    I couldn't stand to see him suffer like that.

    The vet said that there was a lot of odd pathology in Jeremiah's chest, including several tumors--this is why Jeremiah appeared obese. He said he thought Jeremiah had lymphoma and was having difficulty breathing, because the tumors were pressing into his heart, shoving it way back and compromising its ability to function.

    He said he thought Jeremiah was close to death and that it would be best if we went ahead and put him to sleep. My husband and I agreed.

    We pet him and told him we loved him as the vet administered the injection.

    I know we made the right decision, and I know there was nothing else that we could have done for him, but it was still so hard to let him go. And I'm grieving very badly for him.

    One thing that gives me comfort through this is that evening when he so lovingly rubbed against my legs. That warmth and softness was beyond words, such a cozy and special feeling, and I've thought about it often since. In retrospect, I think this was his way of saying goodbye and thanking me for loving and caring for him, a special grace from a very special cat, and for that I will always be thankful.

    I found out last night that my husband had a similar experience with Jeremiah on Friday, and that's helping him cope with the loss as well.

  • profile image

    Gabriela Bee 

    5 weeks ago

    I want to start by thanking everyone who shared their stories. It truly has helped my grieving. Like most of you losing my beloved black baby Etch 3/4 months ago was one of the hardest things I've had to go thru. Etch has always been a fiery one. From the moment we met, I knew he was mine. I just rented this back house and found myself lonely, till etch was given to me. He was only 3 months old and boy was he rambunctious. I never went to sleep alone, to the kitchen or anywhere for that matter alone. He would greet me at the door and swap at me when I would pass him by, kissed me any chance he got. He loved chasing flies, and his toys. Poke me in the nose early in the am for his food. He had a bad accident and wasn't able to recover. I couldn't sleep for days taking care of him but just when I thought he was getting better. He kissed me one last time and collapsed in my arms. Im deeply depressed. I see him in my dreams and I envision him here with me. He was the only unconditional love I've ever known. I miss you terribly Etch!

  • profile image

    Ollie Roth 

    5 weeks ago

    I lost my beloved Charlie yesterday. I let her outside around 11PM Friday night, and she didn't come back. Around 6PM Saturday, I started looking around the house, looking in the yard. Our two dogs directed me to a grate in the brick fence parallel to our house that had come loose (I live next to a freeway, so there's a little bit of space between the yard and the road). Threw my boots on, hopped over, and there she was, a good-sized hole in her chest. It seemed a coyote had gotten her. She'd been there all day from the look of it; she stank to high heaven, her lips and eyes had blackened, and ants and flies were everywhere. She was eight years old, 6 weeks short of her ninth birthday. I don't think I was ever so hysterical than when I saw the corpse.

    That cat was everything to me when I grew up. She became a part of my life as a kitten that had snuck into our yard a week ahead of my tenth birthday. She was always there for me, when I was sad, angry, or just felt like I had nobody in the world, she was there to comfort me. I can understand what loss like this is... it's like just being smacked in the face out of nowhere. Her sudden death has shaken me, and I'm trying to take things one day at a time, but.... I can at least find comfort in the thought that her death was relatively painless and was probably better than her withering away in a slow, painful death. Still, I just can't help but feel like I could've protected her, I could have saved her... and I didn't. We'll be cremating her tomorrow in the backyard firepit.

    R.I.P. My little baby. I'm sorry Daddy wasn't there to keep you safe...

    August 2009 - July 6-7, 2018

  • pbsagr profile image

    pbsagr 

    6 weeks ago

    I can relate to everyone's grief. I've been through this twice in one year, sadly. Last April, I had to have my dear 16 -year old cat put to sleep after she'd had a stroke. It broke my heart and I didn't think I'd ever recover. I went to a local shelter, two months later, just to look around. I decided to adopt an older female cat that no one seemed to want. It took awhile for us to become friends, but once were, she was a great comfort to me. Unfortunately, I found out that during an illness and vet visit, she had an ongoing respiratory disease, possibly related to FL. She began again to show signs of stress, the sinus congestion, snoring, sneezing and so on. Then she'd walk through the house howling and hide in various places, like my closets. Things were not getting better and she was aging quickly. It didn't help that her previous owner was negligent. I took very good of her but I couldn't fix her. I didn't have the courage to do this again so soon, so I had a long talk with her and said goodbye, and had a good fried come and get her, and take her to put her at peace. He buried her next to my other beloved cat. One son, who lost his cat two years ago, was sympathetic but has moved on. My other son said nothing, and the few friends who even knew I had her, just give me pep talks telling me I did the right thing and so on. That's not what I need to hear. I can't sleep, I stay up half the night eating junk, when I'm not hungry, was just ill with a stomach virus, and not functioning well. I'm dragging myself through life. The friend who consoled me after I lost my first friend, is gone now. I do see a counselor but we've only had time to touch on this subject. We never really had time to completely address all the grief I felt after the loss of my first kitty. I don't plan to adopt any more pets. This is enough stress and I'd like to spend more time with the one son and his sons, but right now, I'm not in the mood. I'm sorry for everyone who's going through this for the first time. It's devastating, at the very least. If you have another pet, it will grieve. My sons other cat grieved for loss of his male cat. Getting another pet to ease your pain isn't a bad thing to do. For the past year, I made it through all that sickening sadness because of the new cat, and I probably gave her the best year of her 12 year life.

  • profile image

    Cathy McClintock 

    6 weeks ago

    I left for my Montana trip June 16th and you passed away suddenly on June 24th ...I put you and your sister under the care of a pet sitter. I found out the horrible news at the end of my first leg home in Idaho on June 27th. I grieved for you in agonizing pain at the Shiloh Inn in Twin Falls, ID...I woke up the next morning with an 8 hour drive back to Reno,NV...and began aftercare arrangements immediately...I'm a mess with memories of the best cat ever......my favorite is your squinty blinks every time I sit kissed you..!Your way of kissing me back my love.....Pepper I never thought the morning I left for Montana that I would never see you again...Until we meet again my lil bear

  • profile image

    Triva 

    7 weeks ago

    I have just returned from burying our precious cat Shiko. She was 19 years old and suffering from kidney failure. I feel so overwhelmed with grief. She died in my arms when she was euthanized at 10:20 am. She had been in pIn for several weeks. The anti nausea meds caused bowl problems. She had a hard time walking. She started to isolate, hiding under the covers all day and not coming downstairs at all. It was getting worse. She had always been such a cuddling and attention seeking cat. It broke my heart to see her in pain. I knew her quality of life was slipping fast..I loved Shiko with all my heart. She would bury her head in my neck while I was sleeping and purr purr purr.. She loved sitting on the sofa and watching the birds and squirrels outside. She would try to mimic their sound and call out to them. She loved to eat the petals off of rose bushes. The way she played with her toys swiping and flipping up into the air with such determination was captivating.

    She liked to drink out of her own human water glass Kept on night stand—-she never once tipped the glass over..I loved how she would come running toward the door to greet me whenever I arrived home. That stopped about a month ago as she became weaker. I would have done anything to keep her alive longer. I have been crying my heart out all day. I love you Shiko. My life will

    Never be the same.

    Ode to Shiko

    Jet black

    soft coat

    cuddling

    Purring

    Tender

    Golden eyes

    Of Love

    Please

    Find a way

    Back into

    My arms

  • profile image

    Izabella Toms 

    8 weeks ago

    Does it ever get better? It's been a day. Very sudden. She always seemed so healthy. I've continuously cried for a day. Threw up. I cannot take this pain..

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    Christi13 

    2 months ago

    October 1, 2005 you literally ran into my life and chose me to be your mommy. It was love at first sight, looking into those big, beautiful amber eyes and I knew at that moment, I was yours. You had me at meow. You were just a kitten, so full of energy and you loved to play at all hours of the day, but you also loved to snuggle. You would snuggle on my lap with your little paws hanging down, kneeding the air as I snuggled you and loved you. We went through so much together and you were always there for me. Your incredibly beautiful heart and soul always made me feel so loved and needed and even when you were demanding love or Food, you kept on purring. Always purring. Everyone who met you fell madly in love with you because you are so special and you always greeted people with purrs and love. Monday morning, June 4, 2018, you went home to Jesus and died in my arms. My beautiful, precious angel. The pain is unbearable and I feel so empty and lost without you. You will always be my furry son because your love was extremely special in every way to me. Thank you for sharing your beautiful life with me. Being your mommy has been the best privilege and honor and I will cherish you forever. 13 years was not long enough. I love you so much, baby boy. You will always be my angel love.

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    nathan grindlay 

    3 months ago from hamilton, new zealand

    hello bungle :} my beloved cat , you passed a little over six months ago . you were unwell and you and i had a journey to the vets that 12th november 2017 . you were such a placid good natured cat you just thought it was another visit to the vets , you took it in your stride , you were strong , courageous ( defending your territory against much bigger cats at all costs :) ] And loving me , with all my faults and hiccups along the way , you were / are by far the most loving loyal entity i have met in my life . It was an honor and a privilege to spend the best part of a decade with you . You made me a better man and taught me many things about life , and the best way to live it . It literally broke my heart when you left and life has not been the same since . the unit is so quiet and i miss our cuddles and you tapping me with your paw for even more cuddles . Along the way wed some interesting times and you met lots of people who loved you , do you remember you were best in show :) . I got a new job boy ! anything to fill the gap you’ve left in my heart . I do so love you bungle , with all my heart , And if love could have saved you youd surely have lived forever, i miss you ! , love dad (nathan)

  • profile image

    Margaret Rosadini 

    3 months ago

    It has been since March first that I lost my beloved cat Dakota and I miss him more every day.

  • Cynthia Long profile image

    Cynthia Long 

    3 months ago from MIDLAND CITY

    I lost another beloved pet today. I wrote the following poem as a way to deal with my grief: Mason

    God, Thank you for allowing me six years with my pet,

    I brought Mason home November 2, 2012, a day I’ll never regret.

    Mason, today, April 29, 2018, you took away a piece of my heart,

    We shared many good times and I loved you from the start.

    I remember picking you out from a picture, you had beautiful eyes,

    For two weeks I debated, then decided it was time.

    When I first saw you, I said what a huge cat,

    The vet said you were all muscle and not fat.

    I remember how we had to get used to your hot/cold personality,

    Finding out the do’s and don’ts, and your loud vocality.

    We learned to deal with your claw sharpening on items through the house,

    And the stake outs that lasted hours when you spotted a mouse.

    You were there for me during sad and stressful times,

    You snuggled with me on cold nights, we were together many bedtimes.

    You were patient when we brought in new cats but didn’t like them,

    You wanted to be the only cat, you could be mean, but also a gem.

    I spoiled you by giving you a spoonful of tuna each morning and night,

    But when you rolled over to be petted and loved, you were such a sight!

    I will always regret letting you outdoors, I thought it would be good for you,

    You loved it, didn’t sense danger, getting you to come back in was a task to do.

    All you wanted was to be outside more and more,

    You spent more time begging and scratching at the door.

    You ate and drank less because you wanted to go outside,

    I let you out but I didn’t know this would be the day you died.

    I’m consumed with so much guilt, all day I have cried,

    I don’t know if I will ever get the image out of my mind of you by the roadside.

    My big beautiful fluffy boy with blue eyes, how could I have ever known,

    Today would be the day Heaven would become your new home.

    You were unique; I know there will never be another,

    Who could be as soft as you, I was proud to be your cat mother.

    :(

  • profile image

    RowdyBoy 

    3 months ago

    Reading your stories brought me to tears. Found out yesterday that my buddy's tongue ulcer is in fact an inoperable tumor that's been steadily growing. Suffice to say we did everything. Was biopsied when discovered 5 months ago during surgery to remove a broken tooth. Came back negative. Noticed drooling and discomfort a month back. Two rounds of antibiotics later, and we now know it is in fact cancer and there's nothing we can do. He got a shot of steroids to ease the inflammation but has at best, probably a week or less. Basically as soon as he's uncomfortable eating. He's not in pain now, I will never let him be. Knowing I can do NOTHING is unbearable. Knowing it's coming soon is in it's own way worse than being told it's now. I will cherish the days I have but it's eating me up inside and a big part of me is dying right alongside him. 15 years of constant companionship. Never left my side, followed me everywhere, would have anxious reactions if I left for more than a day. Everything dog lovers say cats aren't, he is. And nothing will ever replace that. I think I will keep and a journal and write to him. I'd easily trade yeas of my life to add years to his, without a second of hesitation.

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    Josiemom 

    3 months ago

    We lost our kitty of 17 years in late January 2018. I am a cat person and have lost cats, but this hit me so hard. I guess everyday is getting a little better, but still, she was our kid. She moved 1000 miles with us and lost her voice on the trip. But she was so loving, especially to my husband. She helped him with his research papers and was my late night confidant when I couldn't sleep. A friend recently rescued a cat, turned out the cat was pregnant with 5 kittens. Seeing the pictures is helping, and of course we will adopt a few when they are old enough. Every kitty is a good kitty...Thank you for listening.

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    nathan grindlay 

    4 months ago from hamilton, new zealand

    i lost my best friend and loving companion "bungle" a little over 4 and a half months ago . i had to have him put to sleep . he passed in my arms at 12.25 the 12 th november 2017, i keep a journal and write to bungle most weeks . i tell him what ive been doing , whats happening about the place . but most of all i tell him how much i love him , and miss him . And i always finish with if love could have saved you , youd have lived forever :) . i live alone at present , and i cant stand it here anymore , i miss him so much its so quiet . to be fair i found bungles company far better than any humans ive come into contact with , i miss you boy , and if love could have saved you , youd surely have lived for ever , goodbye my friend , love nathan {dad}

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    Margaret Rosadini 

    4 months ago

    It has been a little over a month since I lost my precious Dakota. I have good days and bad days and I miss him terribly. I know in my head tag at putting him down was best for him but in my heart I feel bad.

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    BrenKev8084 

    4 months ago

    I’m sorry I know this will be long. I’m just trying to get pass this immense grief I’m drowning in. My wife and I feed and care for a small colony on cats that lives in the woods next to our house. Back in October as we finished catching and fixing the last of our outdoor cats we took in one of the last two kittens. Before we had took him in we named him Marble and even then he was the sweet and loving. Originally we were just going to keep him for 3 weeks then he would of been old enough to be adopted but those 3 weeks turned into 6 months. Yesterday we realized we hadn’t seen him for hours which was not like him. He was always wanting to sit on our laps. He was only with us 6 months but his passing has taken me out. He had a lot of sinus problems. Some nights a would stay up all night with him because just breathing seemed tough for him. I knew that his time with us would probably be short. The vet had said he had a sinus infection but I think he had more than that. My wife has been great helping me deal with this pain. I just keep seeing him lying there and I can’t get it out of my head. The only relief I get is when I sleep. I was really upset because I didn’t think I even had a picture of him but thank god I found one just before visiting this site. I know eventually it all will pass. I miss my little Marble so much.

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    Bev Payne 

    4 months ago

    I feel like someone has ripped a piece of my heart. I cannot stop crying. My Mr. Kitty had a stroke or had a tumor a while back and went blind, He had lost strength in his back legs and couldn't get up and down things. I took him to the vet many times and he got some shots that helped his appetite and would be ok for awhile. Recently he started going in circles. Sometimes I could get him to quite down. He was so affectionate and would snuggle with me in bed. He was such a big part of my day, always there. Yesterday I took him to the vet and knowing he would only get worse, I had him euthanized. I can't stop crying. My heart is breaking. I have a loving and understanding family but nothing helps. I feel guilty and wonder if I could have had him a little longer, did make the right decision. I keep questioning myself. As unreasonably as it sounds I want him here. I hurt so much.

  • Cynthia Long profile image

    Cynthia Long 

    4 months ago from MIDLAND CITY

    My husband recently brought home a tiny kitten he found on the ground up at the barn. He was afraid another animal might kill it and didn't see any other kittens around. He brought it home. It had to be only 1 or 2 days old. I became its foster mom. I fed it kitten formula, had a schedule, and tried to mimick the mama cat. It was so little and after we had it for 5 days, it didn't want to nurse so I had to force feed it with a syringe. After I had it for about 9 days, I felt it was dehydrated and took it to the vet. He didn't offer any encouraging words but gave it some fluids. We named her at this point, Annie, for little orphan Annie. She would cry every hour of the night for the last 3-4 days of her life and I thought this meant she was hungry. I think her little body was shutting down. Two hours before I found she had passed, I had checked on her. I was so heartbroken and still am. I loved that sweet little kitty so much in the short 11 days I had her. I miss her so much. My daughter sent me some pictures that she had taken of her and it just made me cry. Sometimes I think about going to a shelter to just visit the kittens or maybe a mama cat with newborn kittens just to hold one of them for a little while. I have 4 other cats at home, 3 adult cats and one 6 month old kitten. Right now, its not the same as holding that precious little life. Just hoping the pain and hurt will go away soon.

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    Riley Sweeney 

    4 months ago

    My beloved cat Princess passed away this afternoon. She passed due to kidney failure and old age. She had been so distant from me lately and I knew that her time was almost over. Still, I cannot believe she is gone. Every dayI would come home from work and she would curl up in my lap as I finished last minute work. Now I will never be able to hear her purr or hold her in my arms. She was my best friend and will be missed by many. She was ten years old and has been with me for a large part of my life. Princess, you will be missed by so many.

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    Terra Marx 

    4 months ago

    It's four months now without Kidd.and i still feel her here with me. They say time heals the wounds but it doesn't.

    In time you will get somewhat better and memories will stay for life. Find peace in knowing you gave your kitty the best life it could have.

    I do and I'm slowly making peace with the loss.

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    Margaret Rosadini 

    4 months ago

    Totally understand your grief. When I come home from work I still expect him to be there but he is not. I am sorry for your loss. I have spent many days in tears.

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    Fidler Roop 

    4 months ago

    This morning I screamed as I retrieved my sweetheart from my lawn. She had been struck by a vehicle and left on my yard. She must have been on her way home. I love her so much, and the pain is almost unbearable.

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    LHughes8335 

    4 months ago

    I had to euthanize my wonderful 21 1/2 year old cat, Hope, on 3/19. I am really having a hard time dealing with this. I know I made the right decision for her although I do feel a little guilty. She was in my life longer than my children have. She used to sleep between my husband and I by our pillows. These past 2 nights I haven't been able to sleep because she isn't there. I am trying to be easy on myself and allow myself to grieve but sometimes I feel like people are judging me. I love Hope so much! My home just isn't the same without her. I literally have a big empty hole in my chest. This has been very hard :-(

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    M Scheer 

    4 months ago

    We had to euthanize our beloved Cleo yesterday and I am so devastated that I am finding it hard to concentrate at work. She was with us near the beginning of our relationship and lived to be almost 18 years old. She was the most affectionate and friendly cat you could ever meet. Even strangers visiting our house were amazed at how friendly she was. My wife could not sleep last night from the grief. She had a long, fruitful life full of love and play but it's still so hard to imagine our family without her. She was the last of three cats we've had throughout the years. The house feels so empty...

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    gamyra 

    5 months ago

    My beloved fur-ball and my everything died on Saturday. March 17th. We took him to the vet around 9pm because he seemed constipated. First the vet asked to leave him overnight because for enema. Before we could get home the vet called back and asked us to come back. He found a tumor in his colon. He said that it is massive and the surgery cannot be called a success. He died in our arms. I still see him everywhere and every time I open the door I hope to hear him.

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    Margaret Rosadini 

    5 months ago

    I had to euthanise my beloved almost 18 year old cat Dakota on March first and I am so devastated. I miss him terribly and cannot stand the emptiness.

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    Eka or Erika 

    8 months ago

    Our cat died today and the last bloodline in that cat family and it was very sad he died from a bite of a dog that we dont know and he just had a birthday in nov 24 ;-;

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    Terra Marx 

    9 months ago

    I loss my best friend Kidd a Siamese X at 17 years old yesterday. She was diagnosed with a stroke. I had her as a kitten since 2000. I held her in my arms as the Vet started the two shots that would peacefully end Kidd's life it was the hardest day of the six months for I had in May a heart attack and stroke. I miss my little girl and prissy sassy attitude.its will hard to find another as Kidd, right now I'm not looking for a kitten. Kidd was pamper and spoiled and yelled to get her way, of course I caved. Kidd's passing has really hit I hard as I'm still working to heal from heart attack and stroke. Kidd was a indoor kitty and when she went outdoors I always with her. I'm lost for words as of now but I wanted to share my story here as an outlet for I. Thank you...Terra Marx.

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    Terra Marx 

    9 months ago

    Tonight was the hardest night I've had since May 10th and May 27th...my best friend and gal Kidd passed away in my arms at local animal hospital. She was 17 years old and 4 months old. She passed due to stroke. It began 2 days ago and tonight she couldn't walk or see clearly. I feel I made the right decision to have her put down but my grief is so heavy from it. When saw her struggling to walk and blurred vision I knew it was a stroke for I had a heart attack and two weeks later a stroke.

    Kidd lived a great life, pampered and spoiled and she was a sassy prissy Kidd. She was always at the door to greet me whenever I came home and would yell at me for being gone. I miss my little girl for she was there to comfort I during my illness. I'm a 58 year old Man and I'm crying as I type this.

    I raised her from kitten hood to today. She loved to travel with I in my semi tractor and has a place of her own in the sleeper She would lay on the dash and watch the world go by. I've taken the next week off cause I can see myself without my traveling buddie...RIP KIDD I SO MISS YOU!

  • Room of My Own profile imageAUTHOR

    Sadie Holloway 

    23 months ago

    I'm so sorry for your loss, Tristan. Sending you thoughts and prayers to help ease the pain of losing your furry companion and cuddly co-worker.

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    Tristan Nadine 

    24 months ago

    I too work from home, have for different companies over the years, so being here without her, it's pure agony-

    She too had her times where she'd come and rub my laptop with her mouth/nose, try to lay in my lap when I was typing, meow while on a conference call for attention...she was the best coworker anyone could have-

    I have a 16 year old Weimaraner, Kalik was his big sister, that I need to focus 100% of time to now...

    Being I've lived by myself for the last couple years, it makes it very hard-I'd scoop her up all the time and carry her around like a child, on my hip-I'd hug and kiss her all the time and now I can't-

    I feel so numb and like a zombie-I lost my father when I was 14, yet this pain is worse-A piece of me truly is gone, I feel it all the time-It happened on Monday the 22nd and I hate that day now, I hate it-A piece of me was taken when she left and it will never be back-

  • Room of My Own profile imageAUTHOR

    Sadie Holloway 

    3 years ago

    Tricia Deed, thanks you for stopping by. Yes, pets give us so much unconditional love. They don't care if we are having a bad hair day, or we got yelled at by the boss, or we burnt the turkey. They love us anyway, which is why losing them is so hard.

  • Tricia Deed profile image

    Tricia Deed 

    3 years ago from Orlando, Florida

    The death of any pet is very hard for animal lovers. Our pets are are a part of our family. Pets give love unconditionally and that I think is why the human being hurts much when death enters.

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