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How I Gave up My Cat (and Why It Was the Hardest Thing I've Ever Done)

Marilyn had a beautiful cat named KC that she had to give up for adoption. She misses him dearly.

KC Jones

KC Jones

My love for KC (pronounced Casey) was the one thing that helped me through some extremely difficult and lonely years. His love for me was unconditional and something that I could count on during the entire time we were together.

KC brought me so much joy. He was very gentle, but he liked to box with me! We would sit on the living room floor and exchange blows. I had to wear oven mitts to protect myself. KC and I had so much fun together. I remember one time, I put a big plastic pool on the deck of my home and KC would not let anyone else use it when he and I were there.

KC with Hollister

KC with Hollister

I Posted a Flyer Around the Neighborhood to Find Him a Home

Because I was sent away on assignment, I had to give up my darling boy. First, I tried to find a foster home for him, but I was unsuccessful. I then tried to find someone from my neighborhood. This is what I wrote on the flyer I posted around the neighborhood:

Beautiful Male Cat Needs New Home

Hi! My name is KC (pronounced Casey), and I need a foster mom who will love and care for me for one year. I have been loved and admired since I was a little tyke. I don’t think I was spoiled, but I certainly had a lot of very kind attention. That’s why I’m so laid back now.

Then a catastrophe happened—Mom was sent on assignment for a year! Mom had no choice. She had to take the assignment. Although she tried so hard to find a foster home for me, she couldn't find one. She really tried, and so did her friends.

Mom says she wants to find someone who would like to take me home for a year while she completes her assignment and finds a home for both of us. She says we will get back together again, but she wants what is best for me. We have discussed the possibility of someone loving me so much that they might want to keep me. So, I want to be as positive as possible about where I am now and where I go next. It’s very important to Mom. She loves me so much.

Would you like to foster me for a little while?

KC's 2 Buddies at the Delta Community Animal Shelter

KC's 2 Buddies at the Delta Community Animal Shelter

No One Wanted to Foster My Cat

On the very last day before I had to leave, I took KC to an animal shelter. I chose this shelter because Sarah, a woman whose cat donated blood to mine, ran the place. KC met a couple of cool guys at the shelter: Skittles and Squeek. They were very handsome fellows!

My cat was now up for adoption. When your pet goes to an animal shelter, he either gets adopted or put down. But, at this particular shelter, unless an animal is very ill, they do not “destroy” long-staying, non-adoptable animals. (Whew!) Delta Community Shelter tries very hard to find loving homes for its four-legged guests.

Don't Let Your Pet Stay Too Long at an Animal Shelter

Sarah, the shelter manager, didn’t want KC to stay at the shelter for too long because he couldn’t get outside like he was used to and although the quarters were extremely clean, they were pretty cramped. Sarah knew that most people go to a pet store to find a new pet rather than going to an animal shelter. So, as soon as possible, she arranged for KC to go to a pet store in South Delta called Pets-N-Us.

My Cat Was Finally Adopted by Another Family

Pets-N-Us is big and airy, and KC had a huge cage from which he could come and go, right in the front window of the pet store. He had so much fun racing across the floor at night when there were no customers, and he enjoyed climbing all the cat-climbing equipment.

He looked fine and felt great, so it’s no wonder he was adopted in just a couple of weeks.

Farewell to you, my beautiful boy.

Farewell to you, my beautiful boy.

Adoption Means the New Family Now “Owns” KC, and I Will Never See Him Again

Before KC left for his new home, the pet store reassured me that he was all right. But, I was heartbroken. I miss him so much and feel so bad that we would never see each other again. I miss brushing him. I miss the times we would sit together in the evenings (or during my morning coffee) when I would brush his fur and scratch his back. I miss the way he used to hop up on my bed and snuggle with me at night. I’m sure wherever he is, he'll be well taken care of and loved.

How to Cope With Giving Up a Cat

Giving up and rehoming your cat, especially one you've been with for many years, is a very difficult decision and can bring up a lot of bad emotions in you. It's not uncommon to feel guilt and remorse, and sometimes you can even feel as though it is a reflection of your moral integrity or your identity as a person.

You must remember that these are just feelings. There are many completely acceptable reasons for giving away a cat, and sometimes it is actually the best option available to you. Simple examples of this include when you are unable to properly care for a cat or if a cat is threatening your health or home stability.

One way to help yourself cope with the negative feelings associated with giving up a cat is to ensure that you've done your due diligence before making the final decision. Even the online pet rehoming service, Rehome, asks you to make a considered decision before hiring their services, as reflected in their helpful Keep Your Pet resource.

Acceptable Reasons to Give Up a Cat

  1. You have a cat allergy. Unfortunately, many first-time cat owners don't realize they have a cat allergy until they've already purchased and brought home their first feline friend! Cat allergies are also hard to pinpoint and can develop at any stage of life.
  2. Your family members have an allergy or are disliked by a cat. Sometimes a family member may have to move in with you, or you might have a newborn child. These new humans in your environment could have an unexpected cat allergy. Your cat could also not get along with other people you live with, and you may be too busy to be able to help the cat warm up to others. You may also not have the financial resources to pay for professional training.
  3. Other cats you own don't get along with the newcomer. Sometimes it is difficult to introduce a new cat into your home environment. The other cat(s) might not mesh well with the newcomer and it can lead to fights and other issues. Usually, this problem will resolve itself naturally, but not always. The older cat(s) may never resolve their dislike of the new cat.
  4. Your cat may become a financial burden on you. Usually caring for a cat isn't very expensive. However, if the cat has ongoing medical expenses, you may find yourself financially straining to try and keep up with the veterinary bills. While you may be financially prepared to deal with these costs when you first purchase your cat, you could unexpectedly lose your job or have a financial crisis, such as your own medical issues.
  5. You may move very far from home. Moving a great distance may make transporting your cat unfeasible. It can be better to rehome your cat locally in such an instance. (This is what happened to me, after all!)

As you can see, there are a number of reasonable circumstances under which you will need to rehome your cat. You do not need to feel guilty or remorseful when events such as this take place. Be sure to do your due diligence and think through every option you have before making the decision to give up your cat.

I Still Remember His Birthday Every Year

Aug 8th is KC's birthday. I still miss my beautiful cat. I know where he is, but I cannot see him. Farewell to you, my beautiful boy!

This article is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge. It is not meant to substitute for diagnosis, prognosis, treatment, prescription, or formal and individualized advice from a veterinary medical professional. Animals exhibiting signs and symptoms of distress should be seen by a veterinarian immediately.


Darrin on August 07, 2020:

I just had to take my Cat to a shelter today. I am moving to a new place with a strict no pet policy, I lost my job due to Covid and am unemployed so I can’t afford many places and the one I could doesn’t allow for pets. I am heartbroken to see him go, it made me so sad to not even be able to truly say bye to him, he didn’t know when I put him in the carrier that it would be the last time he saw me and it hurts so much knowing that. He was such a sweet cat he was loving and needy but I have been alone for years now and though my time with him was short he helped mend my lonely heart. I came here because I miss him so much already, I hope whoever adopts him gives him all the attention he needs.

Lalee on July 27, 2020:

I had to rehome my tabby yesterday. I’ve had her since she was a kitten. I’m crushed but my son seemed to have developed allergies and despite a year immunotherapy he hasn’t improved. My 3 sons are trying to put on brave faces but I know they are heartbroken

Han on July 05, 2020:

Dzenina, why cant you keep her as indoor cat and why do you think she was unhappy? Is your house too small? If your house is big enough, I would keep her indoor for her safety and you can always take a walk with her on leash or with stroller. I'm sure new owner will give you back the kitten if you ask back asap.

Dzenina on July 04, 2020:

I just gave away my beautidul kitty away today... I cant hold it out anymore WHY DID I DO THIS I cant stop crying and my whole familiy too.. It was all my fault, I thought she was unhappy that she couldnt go outside and I found her a beautiful home. But I hope I can take her after some years again when we've found a beautiful home where she can go outside. I am heartbroken, my family is heartbroken. I really feel like I will cry like this my whole life. I want her back. Oh my God. I miss you, Yumi. Really so much. Please come back :'((((

Mm on June 22, 2020:

I have been separating my two cats for a year now(one in bedroom) and the older living room. Whenever the younger cat escaped the bedroom, the older one attacks the younger one immediately. It was so aggressive that I am sure it would lead to death if they aren't separated fast enough.

Last week, someone said he wants to try out the younger cat. I wasn't home and now she is gone. Even it is for a try out. I feel like she is gone forever, because I can't imagine who wouldn't want her. She has such a beautiful personality and so cheerful and loving.

Now I am so afraid that the new owner will give her away when they get bored or when the cat gets old and need care. And shelters kill cats if no one adopts them. But then again she has been in bedroom for a year now and I feel bad for her, because she doesn't have enough space.

I have been crying for days now and I feel like this heartache will never go away.

Like someone said before in this post. I wished people could just visit the pets at the new owner's, or send us update once in a while. That would really take away the pain a little bit and we would feel relieved.

JJ on May 12, 2020:

Maya, don't give up your cat for a new kitten wtf

Maya12507 on May 09, 2020:

My mum has never really liked my cat snow-white, for almost a year now she has been trying to persuade me to let her go but I always refused! I am now interested to adopt a new kitten, but, my mom said that I can only adopt the kitten if I let Snow White go. IM TORN! I don't know what to do! I want a new kitten but I'm also too attached to my cat! What do I do?

Chris on November 29, 2019:

I am having to give up my cat Emerald as well. When I got her, she came with her bonded brother and all seemed well until out of hte blue she began attack him and ripping out his fur until he refused to come out of hiding, and she would still hunt him. I had to give HIM up, and tried a second cat. She did the same thing. Then I tried a THIRD cat...and same thing.

This latest cat is incredible, beyond kind and playful and great with people and pets so I finally made the call: Emerald has to go. She just won't allow a second cat to live peacefully in the house.

Its utterly heart breaking because one of the most stress-reliving things for me this last year has been petting her and holding her when she falls asleep on my chest at night. I can only hope things will work out best for her and me and the latest cat Trooper if she finds a home that will not have any other cats, which since I love cats...I can't do.


JulieW on October 25, 2019:

I have made the very difficult decision to rehome my 12 yr old girl as well. She is my first baby. My husband and I adopted her and her sister, he picked Cleo and I picked Chloe. Ms Chloe has been with me thru so much. She has been all aro7nd 5he country from Vegas to Boston and now NY. She lived in 7 apartments and now our very first home. She has been to the new Vet 5 times and another Vet for a second opinion. We have been told she is perfectly healthy so rehoming is the only option. She is having accidents everywhere from the dining table to th3 bed, the couches, the floors, in front of her litter boxes, and now in her crate. We got her a four level large cat crate as a last resort to put her in at night. She will not go in the litter box. We have tried a half dozen boxes, probably almost every litter available at major pet stores. We staggered the boxes throughout the house, tried a special vest, plug in aroma calming oils, collars, pitring her oitdoors during the warm summer days, new tall cat trees. Noth8ng has worked. Mu husband is frisyerayed at this point and I am devestated. I feel like I havent been a good Mom. I have made time for her wveryday but its not as mich as it used to be, she is agressive with her sister now, its so bad she made a hole is her ear. My girl Chlow SEEMS to be in good spirits when I am with her but her defecating and urinating throughout the house is not sanitary and we have our first child on the way. Does anyone have ANY other ideas??? She is terrified of everything ever since we moved here. We even built a whole cat room where its totally dedicated for them, we have so many toys throughout the house. We had the plave peofessioanlly cleaned thinking she could smell the other cat here. Why is she doing this now?? The Vets say its totally behavioral. I wish I didnt have to do this. Its the hardest thing I have ever done and feel like a failure as a Mother.

Mark on October 11, 2019:

My wife and I have been advised that, in the best interest of both our cats, we're going to have to re-home one of them and we've both been crying at the thought and we haven't even started the process yet.

They're brother and sister and we've had them since they were kittens with no issues at all for the last few years. The sister is of a nervous disposition and, recently, her brother was hit by a car in the road. Our security camera shows him hurtling into the house through the cat flap and, out of shot, you hear an altercation. Whether he attacked her in shock or she attacked him through nervousness we don't know but it's just understood that they've had a fight. On his return from the vets his sister totally rejected him showing considerable aggression when there was previously none.

Weeks of separation and a variety re-introduction techniques given to us by vets, animal behaviourists and the internet have all returned no results........ except to put a strain on my relationship with my wife due to the house being split in two (upstairs/downstairs), and, strain at work, as sleeping on the couch every other night to comfort the stressed downstairs cat has led to lack of sleep.

With the brother's health not being great we've reluctantly come to the decision that it would be easier to find the sister a new home but that is as far as we've got.............. we love her dearly and almost can't bring ourselves to accept we've made that decision. The guilt has kicked in already and it hurts.

Our heads tell us it's best for both as at the moment we can't give each cat the attention they deserve, she'd be less stressed and he'd stop being aggressively attacked..... but our hearts........ they cry out in pain.

Mary on October 10, 2019:

Tomorrow a new family will adopt my cat Oscar, i feel so sad and hurt letting him go but i know it's the best for him


even though our bond was for a few months only

I will love you forever baby

Be happy and healty wherever you are ♡

hopeforcats on September 27, 2019:

I was browsing through the internet on how to cope up with the pain of giving away cats. I too have to give up my tabby very soon as I am moving out of my country and cannot take him with me. I havent given him away yet and still looking for someone who can adopt him and treat him as a family the way my husband and I did. I cry everyday knowing he will be separated from me soon. I also fear that whoever might adopt him might not have patience as sometimes he can be too much too handle or worse might just abandon him somewhere. Reading through the post and is very comforting because I somehow feel I am not alone in this journey. But the pain just wont go away. I thought the sooner I can find him home the sooner I can move on but just the thought of giving him away is so heartbreaking. Today, as I am writing this I have been crying non stop. I dont know what else to do.

Pamela Dapples from Arizona. on July 04, 2019:

Marilyn, I'm sad for you -- this pain you've gone through. I hope it has lessened somewhat after these few years. Perhaps you can try again to see him and the people who own him will be soft-hearted and say, 'Sure, you can come visit. Come once a week, in fact.' I had to give away a dog when I moved to Hawaii again in 2006. I didn't want her in quarantine for six months if I fouled up the vaccination dates and rules. It's only now, 13 years later, I don't get teary thinking of her. We should be more this way about people, not just cats and dogs. What's happened to society? But it is what it is. And it's hard.

msanjohn on July 02, 2019:

I miss my cats, my mom and I have to give up our 5 cats because of some conflicts in the house. I love them very much, they're siblings to me. My mom loved them so much too as if they were her children. When somebody came to our house to pick up our cats, I intended to go out and let mom handle the situation. I was so sad, my heart was completely broken. I only thought of myself . I've been so selfish that I let my mom carry the burden of giving them up alone. I let her witness our cats being taken away from home. I thought I was sad, but she was grieving. The cats were always with her all the time while Im in school, She's the one feeding them, taking care of them, She's also the one who named them. Her bond with them is the greatest...and I left her alone in that horrible moment. Tonight I'm lying on my bed thinking about them, about our playtimes, about our cuddles, everything about them. I cannot forget them forever. I miss them so much. And I know my mom miss them so much too...more than I do.

Steven on June 30, 2019:

My fiancé and I are totally heartbroken, but I feel like I’ve been taking it harder than she has. There hasn’t been a night when I’ve slept good or haven’t cried myself to sleep. We are moving into a new house (renting) and are unable to bring our sweet tootsie with us. She has been a huge emotional support companion for the both of us. On days when my spouse was completely exhausted from work or stressed or depressed tootsie would willingly jump onto her lap and sleep with her. On my days off she would nap on me until I woke up. We play fight and she does this cute little thing where she fetched her furry ball toy and throw it in the air and catch it with her mouth. We knew that if we were moving in together and we get a cat that there would be complications if we move into another house that didn’t allow animals (previous landlord didn’t allow pets at first but grew to accept tootsie, so we’ve had her for almost a year). That was something we were both aware of but something that we both didn’t expect was getting extremely attached to tootsie. We are due to move into the new place next month but luckily, the person who gave tootsie to us was reluctant to take her back. This means that tootsie will be returning to her mother father and her sibling and the loving family that had to give her away to us. That was a huge relief for my fiancé, and for me as well, but I am completely devestated.

sheri on April 15, 2019:

hi, I'm so heartbroken and feel like crap . I surrendered my joey that I had since he was a baby. I had to move away and he come with me. He is now in a shelter in chemanuis and I assured he would not be put down, but I just feel so bad I had to give him away. I just don't know what to do

IntrovertedOreo on March 28, 2019:

I too an forced to give up my gray tabby of 9 years today at 6pm due to a big move. I am very thankful to know a dear friend of mine and her 11 year old daughter will be taking him, so that gives me a great peace of mind knowing he will be with good people and I can visit him but he will be 4 hours away from me

toffi on March 19, 2019:

KC seems like a wonderful cat! I’ve had my baby Toffi now for 1 year (2 years in May) and i may have to let her go. i don’t feel like my family gives her the right love and time she deserves. she could start a beautiful family but the guilt of letting her go is killing me. i cant imagine how guilty i’d feel. i love her so much and letting her go is the best option for her but it’s very difficult. i’m just afraid that her new family won’t accept her and something bad may happen to her. i feel terrible. i don’t know what to do...

Mark Lewis on January 10, 2019:

Heaven! Where all our furry friends we've bonded with, come running to us, when they hear our voices!

Deemster on January 02, 2019:

I feel your Pain.

I've had my little men Lux (White,grey spots) and Zen (Grey Tabby) now for 4 months and I never thought i'd get so attached to them. I look forward to seeing them and hate leaving them in the morning. We've bonded so strongly.

Lux is so so so so very affectionate.. so playful and loving, always wants a cuddle..a real lap cat. Zen is a little more of a follower and follows Lux around. Hes a real jealous little man but loving atthe same time, and very mischievous. Its actually quite funny because once Lux gets his cuddles, he goes off to sleep on his own, and then Zen will run over to me and sleep on my lap and almost make a face at Lux - like "MY HUMAN". They are so adorable together and i hope wherever they go they go together.

So, I'm seriously finding it so hard to deal with the prospect of having to return them. My wife isn't a pet person at all and to be honest she can't really get to know them anyway as she has fallen pregnant with our first child and we are now 5 months in. Due to the delicate nature of the pregnancy, we have been advised not to have them around. Also, we can't let them out as they get bullied by other cats in the yard and they just run straight back in. On top of that, we constantly hear foxes terrorising other cats, which i believe may be the reason why we have recently received 3 missing cat posters in the last 2 months posted in the door.I know they will be happier elsewhere and loved but its killing me that it won't be me.

I know its in their best interests, but its so so hard dealing with the fact i'm never going to see them again. I keep thinking maybe later on in life i'm going to maybe adopt a few more when things are settled, but its not the same. Nothing will replace my Lux and Zen.

Deemster, London.

Pat on December 31, 2018:

I’m so sorry you couldn’t find a foster home for your sweet baby. I can’t stand when things like this happen. I know I’ll be that crazy cat lady when I’m retired. My heart aches when I go to the shelters and see all those homeless animals. You just want to love and save them all. You can feel comfort in the fact that your kitty was adopted and not put down. You still miss doubt about that....but he’s still here being loved. I hope the pain of your loss eases.

Martyn on October 11, 2018:

I have to give up my beautiful British short hair Penny. I have had her since she was a kitten. She chose me! The reason I have to give her up is that my new born son is highly allergic and she has become more distant since his birth knowing something is wrong. Penny now chooses to live in isolation away from the family and it hurts as she obviously knows. My heart is absolutely breaking. Tears are rolling down my face as I type this. She is due to go into a shelter on Saturday and I have been reassured she will find a loving home but I feel lost and will miss those cuddles. I love you my Penny.

Jocelynn on August 01, 2018:

A couple of days ago my Cat shadow got sent to a new home and I’m heartbroken and I cry over it

Aisha on June 09, 2018:

I have had my cat for 2 years her name is Hazel she is now getting taken away from me by my mum it is heart breaking I can't stop crying we r so close she is my companion I don't image a life without her

Kori White on June 08, 2018:

Crying while reading your story.

I went through a similar situation too. I moved to live with my boyfriend who was stationed with the Army in Hawaii. I left my kitty Bevan with my dad and planned to take her back when I moved home. After a couple months my dad said he couldn't take care of her anymore. He ended up taking her to a shelter. I said goodbye to her via Skype. It was heart breaking.

I heard she was adopted by a nice man. It's been about 5 years since I've seen her and still miss her so much. She was my first baby.

Debbie Ackerman on May 28, 2018:

I had to give my cat away because I was moving into a new apartment he is only 15 minutes away from me would it hurt him if I would go visit him once in a while or would it break his heart?

Brooke on April 12, 2018:

Oh this had me crying my eyes out. It is very hard to let go of pets and when they pass away it feels like family to me. My mom passed away a few months ago and she had a cat i got very close to. when she passed i took him in and he was happy but i could tell he missed my mom. Although i lived with my mom for a while and he knew me i think he was sad. A few months later he disappeared! I looked all over for him . I really was heart broken i thought maybe with all the changes and my mom passing he was upset and ran off and they took him in i couldn't find him anywhere. I recently found a shelter by me that a cat came in and looks just like him but the cat is injured and i am thinking ok if this is him i pray i will have the money to help him and get him out. Its tough i have cried and cried it has broken my heart.

mary on February 23, 2018:

Try to get kc back and talk to the owners that have him!!! I would try

mary on February 23, 2018:

I felt so bad ,I read your story today!!!! Anyway u can find out where he went

Young Child on December 01, 2017:

Hii, I’m 14 and my baby kitty is around 8 months old. Her name is Baby April, April for short. I’m currently 4 hours away from home and I won’t be able to see my baby till Sunday night. Today is Friday. I feel so heart broken. This isn’t even the worst part of it.. For summer, my family will be flying to Lebanon for 2 months to see relatives. My parents aren’t willing to get April a cat sitter. I’ve only had her for around 2 months or so, but I’m already attached because she’s helped me cope after my back surgery. I have no idea of what I can do. Obviously, the web was the first thing I used for help. I saw great ideas, but I just don’t have the authority or power to do anything to keep my cat. I seriously feel like crying. Yep, I’m crying. Help! ;(

ps: if there’s really no way for me to keep my cat, please be honest. I’d also need help coping with taking her back to the shelter.

Shay on May 20, 2016:

Your story broke my heart. I will be leaving for military college soon and couldn't bear to loose my baby boy. But unfortunately I will have to 're home my loving felion friend :( I hope I can be as strong as u x

Marilyn Alexander (author) from Vancouver, Canada on August 23, 2015:

Thank you for sharing Zach. How fortunate for Crystal that her new adopting "mom" sounds so perfect for her. In a loving home Crystal will do well and thrive. Your giving her up gave her the best possible future. (my giving up KC gave him the best possible future, too.)

I know it's hard. This will be a sad time for you--but you will feel better. If you can, ask the lady who adopted Crystal to send you a picture of her once she has settled in.

Bless you for caring about Crystal and all sick cats who sometimes just need love.


Zach on August 23, 2015:

Maralexa, I went into this post having a heavy heart this morning. I woke up for the first time without seeing my my cat's face and wake up lick. Her name was Crystal, and she was a Ragdoll cat that I saved from a kill shelter.

I can say for certain that your post made me feel better today. I found a permanent home for Crystal after fostering her for one year. I saved her from a shelter when was flea infested/tick infested/ and had a kitty cold. Truth is I kept her too long. She was so scared and did not trust people. I saved her on the day she was slated to be put down. She turned into a healthy cat who went from 5 pounds to 10 pounds, enjoyed belly rubs, actually went from hated being held to enjoy being held. It took 6 months for her to completely break out of her shell. I could see all the improvements she made. I loved this cat, one of my favorites which makes it hard.

Since college is coming up (my only opportunity to attend), my mom had to have her thyroid removed and is now extremely allergic to cats I have (I was staying at her house) and so on, there are just too many challenges that prevented me from having a third cat right now. And I always preferred to leave that spot open for sick cats since I am becoming a vet tech and am trained in saving very sick cats. My other two was hypoallergenic cats that I rescued and do not bother her.

I hope within the next few weeks my heart heals and I start to feel a little less bad about giving her up to a new house. Sometimes it feels like I abandoned her, or just decided it was convenient to find her a home other than mine. And I really don't want other people to look at it that way, because I once expressed interest in adopting her, but realized that my current reality does not give her the best chance at living to an old age. The lady that adopted her had a new car, a vet with good references, a solid job/apartment, and her last dog lived to 15 years of age which I find fantastic. Thank you again for writing this article - it brought tears to my eyes, the same tears that was shed for my Crystal when she left for her new home.

Marilyn Alexander (author) from Vancouver, Canada on May 13, 2015:

What a beautiful outcome! Thanks so much for sharing with me.

Maisys mom on May 13, 2015:

Thank you for your kind reply. Since Maisy left, they have already sent me several pictures and even a video! She has a new cat friend and they have their very own sun room! She seems to be very happy and getting along even better then before! I'm thinking it was meant to be, maybe she was meant to be with them this whole time! I am actually, very happy for her and I feel very good about my decision. I still love her very much and I do still miss having her here with me. I was invited to see her whenever I want, so that helps knowing that I can go check on her and give her a big hug. It's funny how we tend to think the worst, when reality it's not that bad.. much love xoxo -Maisy's mom ;)

Marilyn Alexander (author) from Vancouver, Canada on May 11, 2015:

Sometimes the best way to care for our beloved pets is to give them to someone else to love and care for them. Because you cared for your little kitten all she knows is a loving home. She will think of her move as a new adventure with more loving people. Maisy is in good hands. You will receive pictures and updates so you will know she is being cared for and loved. Let her go in peace and be grateful she was with you for as long as possible.

Look after your own health and know she is cared for too.

Maisys mom on May 07, 2015:

Hello Marilyn, I know it has been years since you have wrote this Hub, but I just had to talk to someone about what I am about to do.. I am going to be giving away my friend... my daughter, tomorrow. I found her behind a dumpster when she was only a kitten (about 5 weeks old). She was such a sweet kitten. She laid on her back, stretched out across my lap, as I drove her half an hour back home. I knew I was allergic to cat scratch(before her, I had cat scratch fever 3x. Once so bad I had a large neck mass and had to have a biopsy to be sure it was not lymphoma/cancer), but with her I needn't worry about that! She has not a mean bone in her body, she has nothing but love, purrs and warmth to give. But here it is 3 years later and my health has went so far down hill from having her as part of my family. I don't know what else to do.. I have been told by 2 different doctors to find her a home because if I do not, I will never be well again. Apparently I was not only severely allergic to cat scratch, but I am allergic to the dandruff and hair too. I know it's for my health but I feel as though I am letting go of my vow to love and care for my baby girl. I don't want her to think she did something wrong..that I don't love her. A woman and her young daughter will be coming to pick her up tomorrow. She said she would send me pictures and updates of her periodically. They went shopping today to buy her all kinds of things and they are so excited to be bringing "Maisy" into their home and family. I just don't know how I will keep it together when I see her walking out the door with my Maisy! Omg..what will I do?!? I love her so much! Will she remember me? Will she be sad? Scared? I have never had to do this before.. what will Maisy think or feel? Where will she sleep if it's not under my covers, laying between my feet? Oh how I wish I could turn back time so that I could love her longer!

Marilyn Alexander (author) from Vancouver, Canada on April 15, 2015:

Giving up a loving pet is so sad -- and truly hard to do. But they are loved when chosen by another pet lover. You have the best attitude about "owning" a dear pet. And you can be assured your little kitty will be OK and will bond with her new owner. They thrive when they are loved. Thank you for your comments, Christina.

Christina on April 10, 2015:

Brad, I'm going through a similar thing. We have to give up our dear kitty because she's eliminating improperly. It's been an on-going issue for 5 years, and I know experts say that you can work with them and keep them, but it's gotten to be too much. I have two little girls who love her, and my husband and I love her, but emotionally and financially the strain is too much. We think we've found a loving home, and my 3-year-old is heartbroken, but talks about the person who is lonely and needs her. I hope she'll be ok. I hope our kitty will be ok and won't just be sad. I hope she'll bond with her new daddy and give him the comfort he needs. That's what I tell myself--she was never really ours--she came to us when we needed her and now she's needed elsewhere. I hope eventually I can believe it. Marilyn, thank you for your beautiful post and all of your sweet, compassionate responses. I needed to find this today.

Christina on April 10, 2015:

Brad, I'm going through a similar thing. We have to give up our dear kitty because she's eliminating improperly. It's been an on-going issue for 5 years, and I know experts say that you can work with them and keep them, but it's gotten to be too much. I have two little girls who love her, and my husband and I love her, but emotionally and financially the strain is too much. We think we've found a loving home, and my 3-year-old is heartbroken, but talks about the person who is lonely and needs her. I hope she'll be ok. I hope our kitty will be ok and won't just be sad. I hope she'll bond with her new daddy and give him the comfort he needs. That's what I tell myself--she was never really ours--she came to us when we needed her and now she's needed elsewhere. I hope eventually I can believe it. Marilyn, thank you for your beautiful post and all of your sweet, compassionate responses. I needed to find this today.

Marilyn Alexander (author) from Vancouver, Canada on January 07, 2015:

Brad - It is so hard to give away a pet you and your family care about. Good to hear Chaos and Bear are with a loving family. Hope that helps you and your daughter bear the pain of giving them away. And you are so right, the next family gets to enjoy the pleasure of your special kitties.

Thanks for commenting. And continue to appreciate your photographs.


Brad on September 13, 2014:

Although its been about 7 months since I had to give away our dear cats chaos and bear, our family pets, which my daughter and I cherished the pain is still present as to the circumstances which brought it about. However for myself and for others find solice in knowing that a loving family now gets to enjoy and embrace in the things that made each of us care for them so deeply. We always have pictures and memories to help ease the heartache. Keep purring bear and Chaos, we miss you!

Marilyn Alexander (author) from Vancouver, Canada on July 24, 2014:

Hope your 3 cats have been given to good homes. They will be happy and it should ease your pain. Thanks for commenting, Cisco.

Cisco on July 22, 2014:

Came home from work today to find only 1/4 of my cats... After yelling heir names and looking for them, I realized the holders were missing... my mom gave away 3 of the cats. One of which was a memento of my late brother.

Really broke my heart.

Marilyn Alexander (author) from Vancouver, Canada on June 24, 2014:

Giving up a pet is one of the hardest things you can do. When a pet loves you unconditionally it comes close to your heart and becomes a member of your family. Pets are living beings that respond to us with love if we provide what they need. When someone adopts a pet they usually do love and care for them. They have had to go out of their way to find the pet they like.

Thanks for sharing your experience, Debra. Have faith that your 2 cats will be loved and cared for.


DEBRA on June 22, 2014:

I know how you feel about your kc.I'm going through the same thing.I had to send my 2 cats that I have had for 11 yrs to Foster.I can't take care of them if they ever need a vet.I want what's best for them,but I sure do miss them.I had a break down after they left.I'm just happy to know that whoever adopts them,they will be safe. Thats all I want for them is to be safe, Loved, NOT abused or Killed.They were and always will be my babies.

Marilyn Alexander (author) from Vancouver, Canada on February 23, 2014:

Brad - I truly understand your heartbreak. And I understand your reasons for having to give away your beautiful cats. You may consider telling your daughter that because you and she loved your cats so much they will look for that kind of love in their new family. You had 4 good years with your dear cats now it's time for them to give the same love to a new family. That thought helped me to release the pain and realize that my KC was a cosmic gift that I gave to others to enjoy. Share the good times with your daughter. Let her treasure the experience.

Marilyn Alexander (author) from Vancouver, Canada on February 23, 2014:

NEVER declaw your cat!! I agree so strongly. Trim your cat's claws with the proper nail clippers. When done properly it will not hurt the cat or draw blood.

Thank you, nArchuleta for the reminder.

Marilyn Alexander (author) from Vancouver, Canada on February 23, 2014:

Hi Victoria. I know how hard it is to have no choice but to give up a well-loved pet. Keep in mind that he will continue to be happy and if he thinks of you it will be with happiness. (if cats think of previous guardians) What I'm trying to say is that he will be more open to happiness and being loved because you loved him and treated him so well. Do not feel guilty. You will miss him but he will just think life is wonderful because you and now his new family love him so much.

Remember the all the good times and be at peace.

Brad on February 09, 2014:

my heart wrenches reading these beautiful stories. Maralexa that is such a touching story. I regrettably saw two of my best friends for the last time today. my wife suffers from allergies and to avoid the strain on our marriage and to ensure her health and wellbeing I had to give them up for adoption. I found a beautiful family with 3 girls who im sure will shower them with love. Feels like my heart has been ripped out after developing that bond with my chaos and bear over the last 4 years. Their last memory is going to be of me placing them in that crate and those big eyes as they walked out the door.

does the pain ever go away. my heart literally hurts. It hurts to hear my 3 year old daughter ask about them and say she is sad and misses them.

i've lost two friends who touched my heart which is now broken.

Nadia Archuleta from Denver, Colorado on October 07, 2013:

Blessed be all those who love cats. It is a special person who puts such importance on the love of cats, both to the author and the commenter. The world needs more like us.

Btw, never declaw -- it's amputation. But you probably already knew that.

Victoria on October 06, 2013:

Hi Maralexa

I stumbled upon your page while searching giving up a cat for adoption. I too, have no other option but to give my baby who I had for 3 years for adoption tomorrow. I don't know how to calm myself down, but I've shed a million tears already... I can't imagine what kind of a mess I'll be tomorrow... It just breaks my heart so bad that I have to leave my baby behind. I'm just thinking that this would be the best for him and at least he'll have someone to play with now since the one who will adopt him has 3 other cats of the same breed. I hope he will be happy and he'll forgive me for doing this. I just love him so much and will miss him terribly :'(

Marilyn Alexander (author) from Vancouver, Canada on September 22, 2013:

Dear Tina, I am so sorry for your loss of your dear kitty, Bella. You know that she is in good hands and will be loved. I knew the same thing about KC - that he was in good hands and would be loved. But it was so hard. Now, 6 years later, I still feel lonely without him. I hope your friend will send you pictures of Bella. That will help.

I hope you will write to me. I also live in Vancouver. My best wishes to you on your move. And when you think of Bella, think of all the goods times you had together. It won't always make you feel better but it's a help.

Marilyn (and KC in memory).

Tina Kaur on September 21, 2013:

Dear Maralexa, I don't know if you still post on here, but I wanted to say I know what you have gone through as of yesterday... Im in the UK and I am moving to Vancouver on Tuesday 24th september, I had to yesterday go take my beloved cat who I've had for 7 years to another girls house , she is going to take Bella for me, I have not stopped crying...its the worst and hardest thing I' have had to do to date...she was my first ever cat, and I feel like I have abandoned her... I can't stop crying, I know she will be loved but I miss her so badly :(


Marilyn Alexander (author) from Vancouver, Canada on June 08, 2013:

nArchuleta, thanks for reading my hubs!

Nadia Archuleta from Denver, Colorado on May 24, 2013:

Oh, yea, I read that Hub, too. That's great KC got placed with his foster brother.

Marilyn Alexander (author) from Vancouver, Canada on May 24, 2013:

Thank you for your comments, nArchuleta. You understand the very hard decision I had to make. The last reason for taking KC to the shelter was because it was run by the woman who looked after KC when he was in hospital for his car accident. Her cat g ave blood to KC to save his life. She promised to do everything possible to find a temporary home for KC or, as a last resort, to find a person who would care for him as much as I did to adopt him. There were a number of reasons why I could not choose to not take the assignment. It was a very sad time of my life. Thanks for sharing about Minoa and Lindemann. Marilyn

Nadia Archuleta from Denver, Colorado on May 22, 2013:

My mom took my cat when i moved abroad. she still has Minoa and calls her "my" cat. Now I have Lindermann, and I wouldn't take a job if I couldn't take Lindemann with me. But I'm impractical. It was obviously a hard decision for you. You obviously care about KC. Lindemann was found as a stray. I wish his former guardians had been as wise and caring as you so he wouldn't have had to live on the streets. Thanks for sharing.

Marilyn Alexander (author) from Vancouver, Canada on March 07, 2013:

kj force - It seems so outrageous to miss a cat so much. Thanks for letting me know you understand. Your experience with your 2 Siamese cats sounds equally hard. Siamese are such beautiful cats.

Thanks for your comments.

kjforce from Florida on March 06, 2013: sorry to hear of your plight...your friends could not help in any way..or family ? I know the heartache of which you mother gave my 2 siamese cats away after I left for college..I was not aware until months later when I visited for was quite awhile before I visited again..I had friends who said they would have taken & shared the responsibility of them, temporarily...I guess these are the

" issues " that make us who we are today..enjoy your evening...kudos on a great write.

Marilyn Alexander (author) from Vancouver, Canada on November 03, 2012:

DsyMsLizzy - Your very kind and thoughtful words have helped me enormously, thank you very much. Learning that outdoor cats can adjust to being kept inside makes me feel much better. I miss him so much - I feel like a wuss. The most important thing though is to believe that he is loved and well-cared for. Thank you again. Marilyn

Marilyn Alexander (author) from Vancouver, Canada on November 03, 2012:

Pamela Kinnaird W, thank you so much for such comforting comments about my giving up KC. Your comments (via your daughter) have allowed me to look at my guilt at giving him up in a much more positive light. When I see another person who loves their animals so much (your cares about traveling with Emerald Kitty Kitty) it makes me realize I am not alone in experiencing the joys and the heartache of loving a pet. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Liz Elias from Oakley, CA on November 02, 2012:

So sad, but also good to know that you found a no-kill shelter for his temporary quarters.

I know how hard it is to give up or lose a pet by any means. I've lost pets to old age; we had to give up the dog I had as a kid after my dad's back surgery, because the dog was too much of a wild jumper--he'd knock chairs over with people in them sometimes, so enthusiastic was his greeting!

My husband and I now have cats...our dog passed in 2004, and we lost a kitty to a mystery illness in '08. We currently have 7 kitties, 3 of whom are "foster failures," adorable kittens who stole our hearts, and we couldn't bring them to the adoption events. Two of them are now a year old; the last is just 7 months. I don't think we can foster anymore--it's too hard to give them up, and we've no room for more.

I do know how hard it is to think of never seeing your baby again. And if he is indoors, please know that even outdoor cats adjust well to that, and know he is forever safe, and will not end up in the street, trying to find his way "home."

One of our kitties came to us from outside, and all of ours are indoor-only; they are happy and healthy, and even the former outdoor cat now spooks if I try to carry him outside at all. I'm sure KC is just fine.

Thank you for sharing this heart-rending tale. Voted up, awesome and beautiful.

Pamela Dapples from Arizona. on November 02, 2012:

Hello Maralexa, my heart goes out to you. I've been through it -- with my dog, Shadow, a Pomeranian. (Not the Pom I wrote about in one of my hubs.) I also have a cat that I love.

I really understand. In fact, I think you are very brave to be writing about it -- for therapy's sake. I've written a hundred pages about me missing Shadow -- in my journals which doesn't take much courage.

My adult daughter helped me through the first couple of years after I had given Shadow away and couldn't see her. She helped me think of the good possibility that cats and dogs don't think in terms of "I should have been able to stay with my master/mistress all of my natural life. I've been so jipped." When they find themselves with a new master/mistress and all is good and safe, they probably think this is the way it's supposed to be.

Little do they know, we'll be claiming them forevermore -- when we meet in heaven's glens. Best wishes to you from a former Vancouverite.

Voting up, awesome, beautiful and Sharing.

Marilyn Alexander (author) from Vancouver, Canada on May 17, 2012:

Thanks truefaith7. Yes I can take peace believing KC's new people are loving and take good care of him. It makes all the difference in the world. Thank you for your understanding.

truefaith7 from USA on May 16, 2012:

I am so sorry that you had to make that difficult decision Maralexa.:-( We have two cats (one of which has the same name) and it would be so hard to let them go. At least you can take peace in the knowledege that the people who adopted KC are good people and chances are he is loved and well taken care of.

Marilyn Alexander (author) from Vancouver, Canada on May 12, 2012:

You are the only one who knows how close (geographically) KC is and how hard it is for me not to really search for him. When someone adopts a cat they have the right to remain unknown to the original "owner" of the cat. I am told the people who have KC now are good people so I can only hope that he is well and happy. But it is sad to think that he may be kept indoors now. He was SO happy and healthy being outdoors as well.

Thanks for dropping by again, Lucky Cats. Your kind, kind thoughts are appreciated.

Marilyn Alexander (author) from Vancouver, Canada on May 12, 2012:

By sharing your experience of having to leave your cat behind I am able to find a little more relief from the sadness I still feel today. Thanks so much kelleyward. Your comments mean so much to me.

Kathy from Independence, Kansas on May 11, 2012:

Here is this sweet story again...haunting...and I am still hoping Maralexa...this one tears at my soul. Thinking of you...Kathy

kelleyward on May 11, 2012:

Oh Maralexa this was so touching and so sad.... In college I had to leave my cat because no one would adopt her and I couldn't keep her any longer. It was one of the most difficult things I've had to do. I remember hearing the song, "Run away train never coming back. Wrong way on a one way track" as soon as I drove away. When I hear that song now I start crying. I'll never get over that decision I made. Take care, Kelley

Carol from Greenwood, B.C., Canada on April 28, 2012:

Snif! Awww...Maralexa. I'm so sorry. But I'm sure there was something about your assignment that you absolutely needed to complete a portion of the learning experience that is your life. My Best Wishes!

Marilyn Alexander (author) from Vancouver, Canada on September 14, 2011:

Thanks again Timothy! Sure happy you listened to your Mom! and thanks for your comments. I appreciate your reading my hub.

Timothy Donnelly from Ontario, Canada on September 14, 2011:

My Mom taught me that anyone who genuinely cares for an animal has plenty of good in their heart, and after reading this, I know that she is right!

Jenny_Leigh from Pennsylvania on August 28, 2011:

Oh wow, this is such a tear-jerker. I can only imagine how hard that was/still is for you. It's so sad to think that noone would foster him for a year. I agree with LuckyCats, you can probably find out who adopted him and see if they wouldn't mind you visiting with him. I'm sure they'd understand.

Kathy from Independence, Kansas on August 09, 2011:

Oh, Maralexa..can't you find out who adopted him? Couldn't you leave a note and picture explaining that you JUST want to see him and hold him...if I had ado;ted him, I'd KNOW how important a reunion would be for the both of you and make absolutely SURE it happened. Don't stop, unless you WANT to..don't stop trying to find where he is...if someone who loves him enough to adopt an adult cat and give him a good home then, I am sure that person would allow you to see him..he must be in the same town...Oh..I would do it in a see thejoy and happiness KC and you would share...they DO remember..I am teary eyed..this is just too sad..if you were near me...I'd help you find him...where are you?

Oh..I see you're in Vancouver...still...Epigramman...where are you? this must be resolved...I am so sorry that you had to give him up..I understand our lives don't always allow our ideal desires but...Oh...there HAS to be a way for you to see him!

Shadow of Me from Pennsylvania on August 09, 2011:

That is a sad and sweet story. KC is a beautiful kitty. I would have loved to have him, but I cannot have any pets right now. Hope he is well loved and happy.

Marilyn Alexander (author) from Vancouver, Canada on August 08, 2011:

Thank You moonlake. I really do appreciate your comment. I so wish I had "known" you then. Blessings, Maralexa

moonlake from America on August 08, 2011:

I would have taken care of you for that year. Levi Jones would have loved to have you to play with.