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Can Cats Be Jealous? How to Identify Jealous Behavior in Cats

Randi is a cat owner and knows all about how to raise healthy, happy cats.

This article will help you determine if your cat is experiencing some jealousy and provide some tips on how you can help them feel more comfortable.

This article will help you determine if your cat is experiencing some jealousy and provide some tips on how you can help them feel more comfortable.

Many people believe that because cats can be aloof, they don't get jealous. That is not true! Cats get very jealous. They can be jealous of other cats, other pets, and often other people in the household. They may seem to be aloof, but they are watching and listening to the household goings-on, and if they are not given the attention they feel they deserve, they will be sure to let you know!

Jealous behavior can be demonstrated in several different ways, including:

  • Anger
  • Fighting
  • Potty accidents
  • Further aloofness
  • Being loud and demanding

The Typical Cat

Cats are typically a quieter, less demanding type of pet. They have a tendency to prefer to be alone a good part of the day. Often they are aloof and only seek out human contact when it is time for nourishment or physical warmth. That is the stereotypical cat. That is not the common house pet.

Cats that are brought up and nurtured within a family are much more social. Their interactions far surpass the feeding and physical comfort stage. They are a part of the family and they begin to act like any household member. They include themselves in the "pecking order" of both the human family members and other pets. Cats can be quite territorial with their things and with their family. Any upset to their balance can cause anger, jealousy, and hurt.

Single-Cat Household

Our first cat was Phoebe. She was completely spoiled, went everywhere with us, and was the perfect house pet. She ate cat food only, stayed off the table, and loved to go for rides in the car! She was essentially passed from arm to arm. We loved her so much, we decided to get another.

We didn't really expect too many problems but I did a few things ahead of time, like make sure that there were new toys, feeding bowls and litter to try to ease the transition. Enter Isabella, a two-year-old rescue cat. This is when the fun began.

Bringing a New Cat Into the Home

Our new cat was already almost two and had probably been abused. She was a scared, meek little girl when we brought her home. Phoebe took one look at her and the chase began. It ensued for several days. Phoebe would perch on her tower and growl at Izzy. Izzy would run and hide. When she would finally get the nerve to come out again . . . pounce! We decided to try holding both of the girls in our arms and showing them how much we loved them both. This caused our Phoebe to go ballistic, race all over the house, and knock as many things down as she could!

Realizing this was all due to jealousy, we left them alone, not giving anyone special preference or too much attention. After several days, things calmed down. They established their own ground rules. They decided that Phoebe was the dominant female and they became the best of friends. We had, once again, a peaceful home with two sweet, loving kitty girls.

Steps for Introducing Your New Kitten

These are the things that we did to ease the transition:

  • We kept the kittens in a separate room for the first two weeks.
  • They had their own food bowls, litter boxes, and toys.
  • We slowly introduced them to the older cats.
  • They only came out when supervised by us.
  • We allowed the older cats to explore the "kitty" room when we were with them.
  • We gave our older cats the same amount of attention they were accustomed to.
  • We didn't allow the big girls to "bully" the babies but . . .
  • We didn't force them to let the babies get away with bothering them.

Introducing a New Kitten Into Your Household

So enamored by our two girls, we decided to adopt another kitty. We ended up taking two very young kittens, a brother and sister. We spent some time playing with and getting to know them before taking them home. We knew the big girls would be wary, but since they were so good at taking care of each other, we felt certain that once they saw these babies, they would melt. Meltdown is more like it!

There was a lot of tension in our home during that time period. The big girls were curious but angry. The kittens disturbed them. The big girls didn't think they were adorable the way we did. They saw them as a threat: to their relationship to us, to their food and toys, and to their well being. We tried to do as much as we could to alleviate all their fears.

Signs That Your Cat Is Jealous

These are some of the behaviors you may see:

  • Tipping over of food bowls
  • Making a mess of the litter box
  • Using the floor instead of the litter box
  • Not responding to you in their typical way
  • Hiding
  • Not making eye contact
  • Fighting

A Multiple Cat Household

It took a few months for everyone to have a begrudging friendship. Everyone has their individual feeding bowls. They eat at the same time and checking out each other's bowl is only fair game when the owner has had their fill! All toys are shared and each cat has their favorite.

Our younger cats and older cats are still not the best of friends, much to my disappointment, but they tolerate each other. Although Phoebe is clearly our dominant female, she has met her match in Ella! They are still jealous of each other and vie for our attention. Yet, sometimes when they think I'm not looking, they even kiss or groom each other!

Exceptions to the Rule

We have since added one more cat to our crazy household. She has proven to be the exception. I don't know a lot about her background but she came to us when she lost her beloved human mother to cancer. She has been in our home for over two years and still hasn't connected with the other three. She tends to bully and attack them when they are most vulnerable.She is still a work in progress!

Read More From Pethelpful

Our most recent addition—we call her the couch kitty.

Our most recent addition—we call her the couch kitty.

This article is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge. It is not meant to substitute for diagnosis, prognosis, treatment, prescription, or formal and individualized advice from a veterinary medical professional. Animals exhibiting signs and symptoms of distress should be seen by a veterinarian immediately.

Questions & Answers

Question: My wife's cat is jealous of anything thats near me including her and hangs on my every move. Why is that?

Answer: It sounds like your wife's cat is trying to keep you to him/herself. Try to make sure the cat is invited to be with you and your wife when you are together.

Question: I got a new kitten two days ago. My cat started hissing at it, and now he is hissing at everyone and gets mad if we try to pet him. Do you have any advice?

Answer: Keep them separate while your older cat gets used to having someone new in his home. Respect your older cat. He will want to protect his territory.

Question: I moved into a house with my partner and brought my cat with me. We went from a household of just me, my cat, my father and my dad's cat to now just him. Lately, he has been screaming whenever my partner tries to communicate with me and from the moment I come home to when I go to bed. What can I do to help show him we are going to be ok as it is causing a strain on my relationship? (Will always choose my cat over my partner)

Answer: I think your cat is just jealous of your partner. It will take time for your kitty to realize that he is still number one. Make sure your partner takes some time to get to know your cat, too.

Question: One of my two cats had kittens, and now the other cat is hissing at the mama cat. Why is she doing this?

Answer: She is probably confused and jealous. She should calm down soon.

Question: I have two cats that are sisters. They fight, and are very jealous of each other, so I have two litter boxes. I will stand guard near it while one is using the restroom, so in retaliation, the other cat has started using my carpet as a litter box. I have since separated the two boxes, but the cat still uses the carpet. What should I do?

Answer: This is a tough one! I still have a bit of fighting between my girls, as well but it has become more and rarer. Do you feel like they are vying for your attention? It's possible that they may be jealous of your time spent with the other.

There are some very good articles written about stopping cats from urinating on the carpet. The first step after trying to find the reason, is to thoroughly clean the area using something like vinegar that will take out the scent. It is possible that she is using the same spot because she is attracted by the scent.

Question: I have a two-year-old rescue cat who constantly meows at my boyfriend, especially when we try to go to bed. I have tried pheromones, reassurance, ignoring her, numerous things but nothing works. Do you have any suggestions to get her to stop?

Answer: I haven't a lot of experience with this, but I would try to make her a comfy bed elsewhere and hope she settles down in time.

Question: I recently adopted two cats from the same household. They've been together for 8 years before me, and the old owner did not inform me of any issues. However, they've started fighting, especially if I'm nearby, and will assert themselves whenever one of them is with me and the other one gets near. What do I do?

Answer: If you haven't already, try reaching out to the previous owner for some insight. Cats are very sensitive to change and this may just be them getting used to a new environment.

Question: I'm pregnant. My six-year-old female cat, the only female cat we have, has become aggressive towards our oldest male cat. He is 14. She mostly chases him around, and it's usually when he is getting love from me. She is acting very territorial and she was never like this to him before. I'm not sure what to do. I don't want her to scratch him because he is old and she is fast and her claws are seriously razor sharp! What should I do?

Answer: Can you get her nails clipped? Some groomers would do it for about $20. That wouldn't change her behavior, but it would keep your male from getting hurt. She may be reacting to the changes in the house with your pregnancy. Try giving her extra love, let her rest near your belly so she'll feel included and loved.

Question: I just adopted two eleven-week-old kittens; male and female respectively. They were the only ones in the litter. Immediately upon bringing them into our home, the female peed on our bed, her bed, a chair and me. We have them separated at night, and at times during the day. She does know how to use the litter box. From what I've observed, she urinates when annoyed by the dominance of her brother. I have four litter boxes, two sets of food/water, have washed/'Nature's Miracled' all the spots, etc. do you have any suggestions?

Answer: You didn't mention how long you've had them. She probably needs to get used to her new home. Was she spayed recently? That could also bother her. I would give her time to for settled but in the meantime, put the litter boxes in the areas where she is peeing. That may help.

Question: I have two, year-old cats and my roommates just adopted a male and female kitten. When one of my cats smelled the kittens on me, he attacked me and started hissing and growling at me. Is that him being jealous because he is attached to me?

Answer: Yes. He is jealous and afraid that you will replace him with the new cats. Continue to reassure him that he is number one.

Question: I have two male cats, Ace and Jinxx. Ace is my older brother's cat who we've had for about four years, and Jinxx we've had for about two years. My brother recently moved out and hasn't been able to get Ace till he fixes some things in his house. Since my brother moved out about a month and a half ago, Ace has been meowing loudly whenever Jinxx comes around and randomly attacking him. Ace also gets upset with me when I pay attention to Jinxx. Do you think he's mad or jealous?

Answer: I do believe he is jealous and probably a little scared or hurt because he may feel that your brother has abandoned him. As long as your brother is planning on getting him, I wouldn't get too crazy about changing the behavior. But if your brother is planning on leaving him with you long term, you'll need to nip this behavior in the bud.

Question: Hello, I have a male Tomcat. I have two other cats in the house and he's becoming more and more jealous, in spite of the fact that all three cats for many years. The Tomcat has started to mark his territory, and I really need to know how to get him to stop doing that. Do you have any suggestions for a solution to my problem? I raised him from a kitten.

Answer: I'm so sorry this is happening to you. While I don't have personal experience in this area, I can suggest another article that may help you:

Question: My two cats are sisters. They each had kittens; my white cat had four boys and my black cat had three girls. The black cat has been fighting with the kittens, and her sister then comes and rubs up against me. We also have two dogs and four birds, but they are in different rooms separate from the kittens. The white cat had been taking care of the kittens by herself, and her kittens are five weeks old and eating and drinking on their own. The black cats are four weeks old. What should I do?

Answer: That's a lot of cats in one house. There are bound to be jealousies and issues. Stay calm and love them all. Hopefully, the conflict will resolve itself, and they will all learn to get along.

Question: I have had my Seal Point, was Maddy, examined by two different veterinarians, and they cannot find anything wrong. Maddy scratches at her ears until the fur is scratched off. Is this just O.C.D. behavior, or, could she have P.T.S.D.?

Answer: Did any of the vets talk about neurological reasons? If there is nothing physically wrong with Maddy then I would assume it is emotional.

Question: I have a close bond with a feral cat for 4 yerars now. A young cat started to come around and the original cat has now run away. Is it possible that it will return?

Answer: It is definitely possible that it will return but unfortunately there are other things that can factor in with feral cats.

Question: My cat gets upset that I have a cat toy. Will she get mad at me enough to hurt me?

Answer: If you have a toy cat, it shouldn't bother your cat at all. If you have a cat toy that your cat would like to play, why not just share it?

Question: We got our youngest cat spayed and keep them separated but our oldest dashed in yesterday attacking our youngest, myself and my wife. After a long time out we switched them to opposite rooms. Our eldest warmed up to me, but still swatted at my wife and charged at the door where we keep our youngest to heal. Why is she being so aggressive to our youngest and my partner, but loving with me?

Answer: Your older cat may be reacting to the scent of the animal hospital/medicine and other cats that your little one probably brought home with her. As far as going to you over your wife, I really don't know the answer to that. Possibly your wife is taking care of the younger one more while she is recuperating. Things should calm down soon!

Question: I have an 8 year old cat and I have a new man in my life after my husband and she has started to pee in one area in the spare bedroom. What can I do?

Answer: I don't know what kind of relationship your cat had with your ex-husband but she might be missing him. She may also feel "threatened" by someone else taking your attention. I would get that area cleaned up so she won't be attracted to it again and give her some reassurance that she is still loved.

Question: How should I get my current cat to stop guarding the litter box against our new kitten?

Answer: I have had a similar experience. I recommend that you get a 2nd litter box and keep it in a separate place. He will not be able to be as territorial with more than one. Make sure to give him some extra loving and attention. He is worried that you will love the new one more!

Question: My two cats are sisters. They fight and are very jealous of each other. Each has a litter box. I have to stand guard while one is using the restroom. In retaliation, the other cat has started using my carpet as a litter box. I have since separated the two boxes, but the cat still uses the carpet. What should I do?

Answer: Clean the carpet really well to get the scent out, or she will continue to use it because of the smell alone. If she is using only one spot on the carpet, move the litter box there

Question: I have 3 new kittens and their mother in my household. Ever since the kittens arrived, the mother seems to be sort of jealous. Sometimes she would groom her kittens but the next second she would start bitting them. She tends to steal their food even though we gave her a decent amount of cat food already. What should I do?

Answer: I would imagine that if the mother was your pet before she had the kittens then she is probably jealous of the attention they are getting. She may also be "teaching/disciplining" them. You may find this article helpful.


Cassandra Miller on September 03, 2019:

Please Help

Randi Benlulu (author) from Mesa, AZ on January 11, 2019:

Hi Naesha!

I am not really sure what is happening here. There are several things going on. I think that mostly he is less cuddly because of his age. I akso think you may be trying to hard. Try backing off a bit. Cats are pretty smart. They can manipulate us with their affection.Let him see that he isn't in charge andbhe will probably miss your affection. Good luck!

Naesha on January 10, 2019:

I have a male and female cat. I got them both as babies and their siblings so they are the same age and have grown up together the last 7 months; however, my boy cat has become much less affectionate and more distant towards me. He was not that way as a baby and it's starting to hurt my feelings! My girl cat has always been super affectionate and craves attention so i believe maybe as he's gotten older he's jealous at how much attention and cuddles she gets, but she comes to me herself and is always under me! I go out of my way to find him and cuddle him even give him treats, but it doesn't seem to be working and he never stays for long when i try to cuddle so I'm really sad. He doesn't fight with his sister either so i really don't get it. He'll go hang out in my siblings room and cuddle my mom though so that makes me kind of jealous too because i don't understand why he won't love me and would rather be somewhere else. Im worried it's going to get worse now that my girl cat is pregnant and we'll have babies running around soon. What do i do?!

Randi Benlulu (author) from Mesa, AZ on January 05, 2019:


First, I am so sorry to hear about the loss of Sisters. How devastating! Second, THANK YOU so much for taking care of the feral colony. It is such an important key to keeping those kitties safer! The world needs more people like you.

I am probably not the best to to help you with your final question. I have a very hard time not wanting to take them all! However, we came to a decision a few years ago that financially, physically and emotionally, 4 was our limit snd we have stayed with it. I think you just have to evaluate what 1 more dies to your household. It would also help if you knew your foster was going somewhere great! Good luck and again, thank you!

HPaganelli on January 04, 2019:


We have a fixed feral community we take care of. About 2 weeks ago a dog got loose and killed one of our 6month old cats named "Sisters". We already have 4 tux kitties in our household ranging from 5-1. They all seem to get along fine. Our youngest is inseparable to our 2 year old. Now I fell we ruined the relationship between the 2 because the youngest ONLY wants to play with the one we are fostering, and ignores his buddy. They do play, but not like they use to. We would LOVE to keep her but we can't!!

We are scheduled to bring her by for an evaluation at our local SPCA and see if she can be adopted. WHY am I so nervous to bring her there?? I admit I have become a little attached. Any words of encouragement?? THANK YOU

Wesley Hodge on November 16, 2018:


Thank you for your feedback, I definitely appreciate it. The last few days have been somewhat better with Cali ignoring Sasha for the majority of the time (only at times does she seem to want to aggressively play or fight with her). All day today she's been downstairs asleep while Sasha has been on our bed asleep.

If it does come to that, I'll be 100% sure that Cali goes to a good home and would be the only cat as she definitely seems to not prefer another one in the home (although strangely she had a brother and a sister that were brought in at the same time as her to the rescue shelter).


Randi Benlulu (author) from Mesa, AZ on November 16, 2018:

Hi Wesley!

I think if Cali's behavior were to improve, 5 months should have done it. I think you may have to consider rehoming her. If that is the xase, please make sure to find her a good, safe home. Let them know about her behaviour and ensure that she is the only cat. Good luck

Wesley Hodge on November 13, 2018:


Hoping someone has some advise, but we have a 5 year old female spayed flamepoint himalayan and back in June we adopted a 3 month old rescue kitten (Calico Female). The behavior has been the same - The rescue kitten is aggressive towards Sasha, she sees her go into the litter box (upstairs, downstairs in either location) and she stands outside and waits for her and then chases her. She chases her and pounces on her, tackles her, etc; as a Himalayan, Sasha has a very sweet personality and is extremely calm by nature, but with Cali's attacks it's caused her to be very timid in nature and every time Cali come near her, she growls at her.

I'm not sure if it's jealousy or aggressive nature of her being a Calico; have tried using pheromones, doesn't help at all. I pay Cali plenty of attention (she will climb in my lap and sit with me at times when she wants to) and I'm about at the end of my rope. Part of me thinks it's a phase as she's only about 8 months old, but part of me thinks this is how she is and it's not fair for Sasha and I wonder if I need to find a new home for Cali.

Any advise would be greatly appreciated.

Randi Benlulu (author) from Mesa, AZ on August 30, 2018:


I sm so sorry this is happening. Unfortunately. It is a little beyond my scope. If the behavior started because of your leaving, he should be through now that you are back. However, he may have started a new habit that is attractive by the scent. Make sure you take precautions to remove all traces away. I would get rid of his bed. Good luck. I hope things start to get better for you

Elaine on August 29, 2018:

i have had 2 rescue cats (a boy and girl) for 3 years and no problems until recently when i went away on vacation; they were well looked after by a friend who has cared for them before. whilst away the boy started to pee on his bed and poo in strange places. Things settled when i got back but now 3 weeks later he is terrible, weeing on the spare bed and pooing on my bed. i have put fresh and extra cat litter out, he is not unwell in any other way, saw the vet and given a clear bill of health. i have tried anti anxiety diffusers as he seems stressed (always a VERY nervous and scared cat) there is nothing else changed in the household. I am at my wits end i dont know how much longer i can cope with his behaviour. Please help.

Randi Benlulu (author) from Mesa, AZ on August 17, 2018:

Without any other information this could mean anything. If nothing that you are aware of is threatening her, jusr ket ger ve. She will come out on her own

Julie on August 16, 2018:

My cat is hidding underneath the bed and hissing at me

Georgina on August 13, 2018:

My cat was verry loving she had kittens in our basement one of the kittens stayed with us they played together mother and dauther until we took the kitten to get spayed when we brought her home the war started mow she does not want to come inside. When she sees her she wants to kill her what do i do its like a war zone she evev scrached my husband on the face help

Randi Benlulu (author) from Mesa, AZ on June 24, 2018:

Hi Patricia! We have just 3 girls now and they are family to us and to each other!

O hope everyone is feeling well by you! ❤

Patricia Scott from North Central Florida on June 24, 2018:

Good morning Randi At present I have one kitty. But at one time when I lived in a very large house we had 13 kitties. My daughter worked for a vet and we often took in kitties as a half way house so to speak and would adopt them out. We eventually got down to 8 that we kept for years. There was not much jealousy going on. I guess we spend so much time with them individually they did not vie for our attention. Well done and interesting Angels are on the way this morning ps

Randi Benlulu (author) from Mesa, AZ on June 17, 2018:

I think she is probably jealous of your relationship with your husband. Try to play with her at the same time so you are both giving her the attention and not one another. Good luck!

Donna on June 17, 2018:

My cat is 9 months old and loves me and my husband, but she will attack me! She will just jump at me and scratch and bite, but she won't do it to my husband. Hlp! Thank you.

Randi Benlulu (author) from Mesa, AZ on June 13, 2018:

Hi Jenny,

It could be territorial or it could be behavioral. If could also be physical. If they haven't been already, you may want to have them checked out by a Vet just to rule out physical. Good luck

Jenny on June 12, 2018:

We have 2 cats, one male and one female. Roughly 10 years old each. The female lived on the streets at a very early age but we got her when she was around one year. The male has always lived with people. We feed them in the laundry room on the counter because we also have 2 choc labs. Lately one of the cats is peeing on the laundry room rugs we think after every time they go in for water or food.


Could this be territorial behavior over the food and water?

Randi Benlulu (author) from Mesa, AZ on June 06, 2018:

Hi Jane! We had a similar situation when one of our cats got out. We were so excited to have him home but the other cats weren't. It took him about a week to assimilate back into the regular routine. I'm not sure what happens when they get out but they sure do need adjustment when they return! Good luck!

Jane on June 05, 2018:

We have two indoor cats. A 5 year old male and a 1 year old female. They have got along well since we brought the kitten home. Harry got outside last week and finally came home after 2 days. Since returning, he is attacking Susan all the time. Hissing, charging, swatting and biting her. We are out of ideas as to what happened and how to fix it. Any thoughts ??

Randi Benlulu (author) from Mesa, AZ on June 01, 2018:

Hi Dellas!

You didn't mention how long you've had them and if you have had one of them longer than the other. Do they each have places IN the house where they can go? You don't want her chased back to the streets again. It's hard to tell whether they will ever fully accept one another so I think you should probably concentrate on keeping them safe together and hopefully they will at least respect each others place in your home and heart. What a beautiful chance you have given them!

dellas hawkes on June 01, 2018:

hI there.

I have adopted two cats that were abandoned and lived on the street. The girl stole food to survive and was timid but now sits with me and I can pick her up. She was already desexed.

The male was in a very bad way and had lived on the street for a long time. I saved him and. Is now very much my cat. I had him desexed.

The problem is he almost daily attacks the female when I am home, he chases her out the house when I am not.

I have tried reassuring him, scolding him, isolating him. Nothing works. Now when I come home I have to go looking for her.

She sits on the couch with me at night and he sleeps on the bed.

Any suggestions?

Randi Benlulu (author) from Mesa, AZ on February 11, 2018:

Hi Joey!

That doesn't sound like fun! It's hard enough to deal with healosy but when it separates best friends, is even harder.

I think you may have to check into cat behavioralists. Your male is protecting the kitten from what he perceives (possibly correctly) as danger from your adult female. And she is probsbly feeling left out with the other 2 bonding do well. I think it's important that you validate all their feelings but try not to stop somr of the fighting between the 2 big ones. They just may need to duke it out.

Good luck.

Joey on February 07, 2018:

Hello, I have 2 adults cats, one female age 8 and a male age 7. We previously had a 3rd adult cat who was 13 years old but unfortunately passed away due to cancer. All three cats got along just fine with no issues ever especially between my two current cats, they actually used to play and get along pretty well. Last August we got a new kitten and things seem to be changing for the worse. My adult male cat, we believe at least, is very possessive and protective of the kitten. Lately we have noticed that after the kitten and the female cat play(they get pretty rough and we stop if it gets too aggressive) the male cat will hiss or act in an aggressive manner towards our female cat. Just today the kitten was playing with the female cat and afterwards I heard a growling and turned around and our male cat had a paw lifted, ears back and was about to attack our female cat but I yelled at him and he ran away immediately. I have noticed the two adults cats never play anymore and if it seems like the male cat is trying to play the female cat hisses at him and runs away. I don't want our cat to feel threatened or scared in her own home and it's really bugging me because I have never dealt with a situation like this and have no idea how to resolve this issue. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

Randi Benlulu (author) from Mesa, AZ on January 31, 2018:

@Angela, ashleyrenee444 and Adam....Yes, your cats are jealous and worried. They are afraid the new pets are replacing them. I believe it is always better to keep them separate until they get used to the scent of eachother. You should also be careful to get new things (feeding bowls, toys, blankets, etc) for the new pets or your older pets will really feel replaced. Good luck!

Angela on January 24, 2018:

Hi, I have an 8 months old cat and about 2 months ago got an 8 week old kitten. All was going well for the first 2 months but now my older cat keeps scrapping all the biscuits into the wet food part of the bowl (only when there's wet food in it) she also keeps putting the toy mouse in there too. She only does this to the kitten food, not her own. Could this be a jealousy thing?

ashleyrenee444 on January 18, 2018:

I adopted my cat three years ago, and he quickly became a great companion. He has always been a very social cat, so much so that people are often surprised because he doesn't fit the typical "scared cat hiding under the bed" stereotype. Recently my girlfriend and I adopted a dog, he is a Jack Russel Terrier Mix so he isn't very big at all. It has only been a few days, but already my cat has been much less social, and he isn't playing with his toys as much as he did before. Is he upset with us? Or is he uncomfortable with this new member of the family? Do you have any advice on how to bring him back to his old self?

Adam on January 14, 2018:

Hi, we just got an 8 week old kitten uesterday.

My cat Lily, whos been in the house for 11 years now has always been by my side wherever I go. Shes growling and hissing at Ivory the kitten. any advice to get them to be friends or at least tollerant as quickly as i can?


-adam (16)

Randi Benlulu (author) from Mesa, AZ on January 07, 2018:

That's a tough one, Lorna. Your cat is likely jealous/frightened. Hopeflly she will get used to him and stop the behavior on her own. In the meantime, I am giving you a link to help you stop the urinating all over the house. Good luck!

Lorna on January 07, 2018:

My cat hates my new puppy now she all of a sudden urinating on rugs what can I do

Randi Benlulu (author) from Mesa, AZ on November 29, 2017:

Hi Savannah! To be honest, yours is a tough situation. I have had similar experiences where I have had bith extremely positive and not so positive results. Our last kittens were never so much accepted as tolerated by the older cats. We decided we would go with that until we brought a foster home. She was a bully.That was when we saw that the older girls may not have "liked" the kitties but they protected them against the bully. Kind of like family!

I hope things are calming down in your household and they are beginning to get along.

Randi Benlulu (author) from Mesa, AZ on November 29, 2017:

Hi Wanda! I think she is probably acting out because of the dogs. They are, after all, invading her territory!

That being said, make sure they aren't obstructing her path to the litter box in any way. They may not be innocent either. We had a foster for a while and when she was here, I had to add a litter box for the other girls. Good luck!

Randi Benlulu (author) from Mesa, AZ on November 29, 2017:

Hi Jennifer! I still think it may be jealousy. Cats are pretty picky about who they bestow their affection on. What concerns me more is that rather than ignore you, she seems angry with you. Depending on your budget, you may be good candidates for consulting a cat behaviorist. In the meantime, I think you should just ignore her entirely. Don't react to her hissing. Don't try to engage her in any way. No treats, etc. She may decide that she misses It! Good luck!

Jennifer clutter on November 28, 2017:

Hello again i read coment. We have tryed her in the same room she won't come in the luving room if im there she will only go in if im in my bed room.i just don't understand.i give her treats but she just doesn't like me for reason.

Wanda O'Connor on November 15, 2017:

We have a cat that has had the run of the house for nine plus year and periodically we watch our daughter's dogs and she does not like them. They are afraid of her. Just recently I caught her pooping on the rug in the dining room and have been blaming the dogs. Her litter box is clean and she knows where it is located. I was in bed and heard some noise upstairs and caught her in the act (pooping on the carpet in the dining room) Usually it is just the three of us home, my husband, my cat and myself. Is she jealous and acting out of anger because the dogs are here periodically?

Savannah Merriman on November 06, 2017:

I just introduced an 8 wk old female kitten(Arya) to my 14 year old resident cat (Sasha). She has been used to living with 2 other dogs and a male cat, but I moved out of my parents home 1 year ago and took her with me and she has been living the life having my apartment to herself. I kept the kitten in a separate room for 1 week and tried to spread her scent around the house. My resident cat is DEFINITELY jealous and possessive over me. She has no interest or curiosity about the kitten at all, but she HATES her. When I am in the room with them Sasha hisses and growls and sounds terribly mean. I have not seen her be too agressive yet (only swatting once). For the most part she will leave the kitten alone unless she gets to close to me. I have definitely seen improvements, for instance the first few days she would not eat her food or walk past the bathroom door where I was keeping the kitten. Sasha doesn't show any kind of different attitude towards me, especially when I put the kitten away, but how do I get her more acclimated? She seems so uninterested that I don't know if they'll ever become friends. I know it will take time, but do you have any tips?



Randi Benlulu (author) from Mesa, AZ on October 26, 2017:

He is definitely jealous! If you are keeping the stray, there are a few things you need to do. First you should have a Vet take a look at the kitty. Make sure he is healthy. Then you will need to ease them i not each other. Get a different bowl for food and water so your older cat doesn't feel like you are replacing him. Good luck

Xing Chen on October 26, 2017:

Hello I was wondering if my cat could be sad or depressed. Yestarday I brought in a stray kitten that was living under my car and my cat sits and looks at me from a corner. He doesnt eat his favorite food (since yestarday), his pupils are always dialated and when I try to pet him he hisses. (That was only once because I still might have had the cats scent on me). I hope hes okay and if hes not should I just wait it out?

Randi Benlulu (author) from Mesa, AZ on October 25, 2017:

Jennifer, I am so sorry this is happening to you. Cats are cery difficult to read sometimes. Like all animals, they have good instincts. She may be jealous of your relationship. She may feel that your partner is giving her less attention/affection because of you. Try including her more when you are together but when you are alone, just go about you business without calling attention to her. Hopefully, she'll calm down and get to know you but I recommend that you be as laid back as possible. Good luck

Jennifer clutter on October 24, 2017:

I have female black cat she doesn't like me she runs away when ever i come in any room.she hisses at me and has a weird meow she the only one in my house hold that she doesn't like i need help it is really putting a damper on my relationship. Please help.

Randi Benlulu (author) from Mesa, AZ on March 07, 2017:

@Lisa Pedley I think jealousy could play a part, yet, as you aaid, he loves your new partner. In the beginning I'm sure he missed your ex and old home. I definitely think this is behavioral. I have a similar situation with my most recent foster.

I don't how much you are able to spend but I think the only thing that you can do at this point is either wait it out (fingers crossed & paper towels at the ready) or consult with a cat behaviorist. Just google "cat whisperer" Good luck!

LisaPedley on March 06, 2017:

My 4 year old Ragdoll is expressing these jealous behaviors and is a 1 cat household. A year ago i split with my husband (my husband and I had him since he was 12 weeks old) and moved into my own place, he was fine for 3 months then i went away and put him at his normal cattery and since then he will not use his litter tray, unless I am standing over him watching. Otherwise he will go on the floor next to his tray. This is the same for peeing and pooing! I have tried all the “retraining” litter training, all the cleaning, taken to the vets EVERYTHING they tell you to do and no luck! ! I have a new partner now, who Rupert seems to love, he will sleep on this feet and not mine and follow him everywhere, so we didn’t think it could be jealousy but now I am thinking it could be, and if so, how do I stop this? We are getting to the point where we feel he is just doing it to annoy us! I still give him lots of cuddles and brushes and play with him from the minute I get home, so I just don’t know what to do? Any ideas?

Simon Murphy on January 26, 2017:

Our one year old ginger is such a loving his Dad.

If my wife picks him up he instantly starts to bite her arm, but not me. He lays with me and curls up and I snuggle him and kiss him and he loves it again, only by me.

My wife was stroking my arm and he pushed her hand away, the more she tried to do it he pushed harder, then the claws came out followed by a bite.

He does get jealous at times and you can see it in his face.

asdfghjkl on June 15, 2016:

why is my cat jealous when my dog gets pet but not her she gets mad at me a lot just because of that

Randi Benlulu (author) from Mesa, AZ on July 02, 2013:

I am so sorry about your kitty, Jennifer :( They are truly members of our family. My crew is pretty goofy right now and a bit overcrowded but ....they are all cherished!

Jennifer Suchey on July 01, 2013:

Oh how I miss my kitty! :( I had the most amazing, bestest kitty ever . . . my favorite pet I've ever had, and he died a few months ago of renal failure. He was only four years old. I will get another kitty again though, hopefully sooner than later. I can't avoid hubs when they are about cats. Thanks for this one. ;)

Randi Benlulu (author) from Mesa, AZ on June 11, 2013:

Thank you, FlourishAnyway! they are pretty adorable and the little ones are always into something! Good for you on 5! I may be joining that status unless I find a good home for our outdoor kitten.

FlourishAnyway from USA on June 10, 2013:

Wonderful cat hub. You have an adorable crew! With four, I'm sure they are like any four people -- there are moments of peace and moments of discontent but I bet you don't have much boredom! I have 5 indoor ones myself.

Randi Benlulu (author) from Mesa, AZ on March 28, 2013:

Thank you, Eddy! Yes, pets can be the cause of many disaggreements between family members and partners. Tread lightly! You have a wonderful day, as well!

Eiddwen from Wales on March 28, 2013:

Thank you so mcuh for this great hub yet again Randi. I love reading anything on animals as for the first time ever i do not have the company 0of any at all. This is a bone of contention between myself and my partner at the moment so we shall see. It doesn't stop me from enjoying reading about them though and I also love the images. Have a wonderful day.


Randi Benlulu (author) from Mesa, AZ on March 01, 2013:

Thank you, Vespawoolf! I appreciate your comments! It's funny, just when you think everyone is calm, another one starts "posturing"! Oh well, it's a lot like kids!

Vespa Woolf from Peru, South America on March 01, 2013:

I'm glad everything settled down and you're one happy household again. I love the cat photos. My dad had to introduce two cats (his) into a household with one dog (his new wife). The start was so rough that they thought it would be impossible for the 3 animals to live together. Now they've settled in and all is peaceful once again. : ) Your tips are great for introducing new animals to the house. Thanks!

Randi Benlulu (author) from Mesa, AZ on February 26, 2013:

lol! It took me a long time! We only got Phoebe less than 5 years ago!

Anahi Pari-di-Monriva from Massachusetts on February 26, 2013:

:-) I may relent...but I'm not brave enough yet!

Randi Benlulu (author) from Mesa, AZ on February 25, 2013:

Thank you Anahi! I've never done so well with fish either. The cats have turned out to be easier!

Anahi Pari-di-Monriva from Massachusetts on February 25, 2013:

Voted up, useful and interesting! This was a great read, Randi! We don't have any pets now (I've managed to kill Cameron the First, the Second and the Third - fish - with kindness and lack of expertise; I can't go through that again with a larger animal!) but it did bring back great memories of the cats we had when I was in my late teens.

Randi Benlulu (author) from Mesa, AZ on February 17, 2013:

Thank you, Peggy for stopping by. I look forward to reading about menagerie! I also grew up with dogs. Phoebe was my first house cat! Thank you so much for the votes!

Peggy Woods from Houston, Texas on February 17, 2013:

My parents always had dogs and cats when I was growing up. My husband and I started out with dogs. We now have 2 cats and my mother's Pomeranian dog. You can read about our first cat in the hub My Life as the Top Cat. Dusty still thinks of himself as such. He would just as soon dispatch Skippy the dog out of the house. Definite jealousy! Both of our cats were adults when they showed up needing help. Now they are inside cats. Peaches, our female cat is such a sweetie. She plays with both Dusty and Skippy.

Good tips on introducing new animals into the house. It took Dusty a couple of days to accept Peaches. Up, useful and interesting votes.

Randi Benlulu (author) from Mesa, AZ on February 13, 2013:

I know, right?! I'm a sucker!

Amanda Brumbelow from Camas, WA on February 13, 2013:

Haha maybe I should send my boyfriend to the pet store for food instead of me from now on!

Randi Benlulu (author) from Mesa, AZ on February 13, 2013:

Wow! Another crazy cat lady! Thanks so much for your comments and votes. Go slowly on building the zoo. I am sometimes overwhelmed here! Lol

Amanda Brumbelow from Camas, WA on February 12, 2013:

I have 4 cats and each one was a different experience! I have never done it before myself (my mom has always been the one to initiate the cat introducings) but I am sure that I will be getting more cats when I move out. I am so glad I read your hub because now I am confident that I can do it! I voted this hub up and useful!

Randi Benlulu (author) from Mesa, AZ on February 11, 2013:

Thank you, Colin! It is raining now :( Everyone is a little jumpy here at the moment! I always appreciate seeing you here and am thrilled if I have imparted anything of value to you!

epigramman on February 11, 2013:

Good morning Randi from lake erie time ontario canada with a beautiful sunny day and milder temperatures although a very high wind off the lake/11:50am

Yes you just knew this title and most fascinating hub presentation would catch my eye - my Tiffy and Gabriel watch each other all of the time especially if I come into the mix so there was a lot of truth in what you write here but also much enlightenment too.

That's what good writers always do: they find something different in a story and make sure we go away satisfied and thanks to you dear Randi I have learnt something new today.

Sending sincere warm wishes to you and your family and hoping all is well with you.

Randi Benlulu (author) from Mesa, AZ on February 07, 2013:

Pstraubie, thank you for stopping by and all your great comments. You are so appreciated. What you did in that halfway house was spe ial!

Randi Benlulu (author) from Mesa, AZ on February 06, 2013:

Amy, if I could, I'd keep adopting all those sweet babies but unfortunately money and space are factors that have to be considered. I would love dogs also. Thank you for your great comments. I so enjoy hearing about you!

Patricia Scott from North Central Florida on February 06, 2013:

Very helpful information, btrbell...right now I only have one kitty. She is my Honeybee and is actually an indoor/outdoor kitty by choice. There are a number of stray kitties that would like to be my kitties too.

At one time we had 13 kitties when we had a halfway house for animals in New Smyrna Beach (Fl). The way we got around the jealousy factor was that we got most of them at the same time. Then when a new one was introduced the pecking order was established. There were a few skirmishes but all in all it went well.

thanks for sharing this info..

Sending you Angels this evening :) ps

Amy Becherer from St. Louis, MO on February 06, 2013:

I think your experience with bringing new pets into a household would apply to dogs as well, Randi. Before my divorce, when I was living in my own home, I had a menagerie of critters, a Golden Retriever, Scottish Terrier, rescue Papillon, Sun Conyer, rescue aquatic turtle, a chinchilla and a rescue rabbit. My Scottie, MacGregor, was a typical terrier and picked his place as alpha dog. My 100 lb Golden, Leo, was more than happy to acquiese. Leo was happy, period, as long as he was fed and loved. The little rescue Papillon was shaky, scared and timid by the time my daughter rescued her from a heroin addict, where she was nearly starved. She stayed out of Mac's way and was happy with a warm, loving place to lay. Our home had the typical amount of dysfunction that worked for all the critters. Ironically, the lady that sold us MacGregor cautioned integrating our Scottie into a home with other dogs for 'his' protection. I used great care in the acclimation process and found that Mac could hold his own; in fact, he would have been a bully, if allowed. The doggie dynamics with Mac onboard demanded that I watch out for his roommates! They soon figured it out and lived in relative harmony.

Great writing, Randi. I admire your energy, generosity and caring for all the lucky critters you call your own.

Randi Benlulu (author) from Mesa, AZ on February 05, 2013:

Thank you so much, catgypsy! They are precious to me! They are also a handful!

catgypsy from the South on February 05, 2013:

What adorable babies! It is a challenge bringing in a new one, but you did a good job making the experience as smooth as possible. That's one of the times when cats will misbehave the most, when they get jealous. Mine all basically get along, but each one still wants ALL the attention from me. Loved this hub!

Randi Benlulu (author) from Mesa, AZ on February 05, 2013:

Thank you for your input, SaffronBlossom! Ido love my babies!

SaffronBlossom from Dallas, Texas on February 05, 2013:

Loved reading about your kitties! I completely agree that house pet cats are not aloof--people who think that usually don't have a cat! The cat we had when I was in high school followed me around like a dog and demanded constant attention...I miss her. :)

Randi Benlulu (author) from Mesa, AZ on February 04, 2013:

Thank you Nancy for stopping by and sharing your story! They are funny and fun!

Randi Benlulu (author) from Mesa, AZ on February 04, 2013:

Thanks, Bill, I can always count on you to stop by! Yes, they are funny animals. I went overboard with the last 2. No more new ones for awhile!

Nancy Moore from Lakeland on February 04, 2013:

We have 2 beautiful girls, and they are so sweet and loving at times. They really like to do the loving, but they do love for us to show them love too. They do have a predominant one, and they would have a tiff now and then to see who would be that one, but finally one gained total predominance hahahaa. They are not the jealous type just act like they could care less. They are very funny.

Bill Holland from Olympia, WA on February 04, 2013:

True words, Randi! We have a grand old lady here; she is about twelve years old. A few months ago we took in a couple kittens for a friend, and the jealousy started immediately. We were finally able to find homes for the kittens, but until we did we had to deal with the jealousy daily.

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