Can Cats Be Jealous? Jealous Behavior in Cats
Cats Can Be Jealous?
Many people believe that because cats can be aloof, they don't get jealous. That is not true! Cats get very jealous. They can be jealous of other cats, other pets, and often other people in the household. They may seem to be aloof, but they are watching and listening to the household goings-on, and if they are not given the attention they feel they deserve, they will be sure to let you know! Jealous behavior can be demonstrated in several different ways, including:
- Anger
- Fighting
- Potty accidents
- Further aloofness
- Being loud and demanding
The Typical Cat
Cats are typically a quieter, less demanding type of pet. They have a tendency to prefer to be alone a good part of the day. Often they are aloof and only seek out human contact when it is time for nourishment or physical warmth. That is the stereotypical cat. That is not the common house pet. Cats that are brought up and nurtured within a family are much more social. Their interactions far surpass the feeding and physical comfort stage. They are a part of the family and they begin to act like any household member. They include themselves in the "pecking order" of both the human family members and other pets. Cats can be quite territorial with their things and with their family. Any upset to their balance can cause anger, jealousy, and hurt.
Single Cat Household
Our first cat was Phoebe. She was completely spoiled, went everywhere with us, and was the perfect house pet. She ate cat food only, stayed off the table, and loved to go for rides in the car! She was essentially passed from arm to arm. We loved her so much, we decided to get another. We didn't really expect too many problems but I did a few things ahead of time, like make sure that there were new toys, feeding bowls and litter to try to ease the transition. Enter Isabella, a two year old rescue cat. This is when the fun began.
Bringing a New Cat Into the Home
Our new cat was already almost 2 and had probably been abused. She was a scared, meek little girl when we brought her home. Phoebe took one look at her and the chase began. It ensued for several days. Phoebe would perch on her tower and growl at Izzy. Izzy would run and hide. When she would finally get the nerve to come out again... pounce! We decided to try holding both of the girls in our arms and showing them how much we loved them both. This caused our Phoebe to go ballistic, race all over the house, and knock as many things down as she could! Realizing this was all due to jealousy, we left them alone, not giving anyone special preference or too much attention. After several days, things calmed down. They established their own ground rules. They decided that Phoebe was the dominant female and they became the best of friends. We had, once again, a peaceful home with two sweet, loving kitty girls.
Yin and Yang
Click thumbnail to view full-sizeSteps for Introducing Your New Kitten
These are the things that we did to ease the transition:
- We kept the kittens in a separate room for the first two weeks.
- They had their own food bowls, litter boxes, and toys.
- We slowly introduced them to the older cats.
- They only came out when supervised by us.
- We allowed the older cats to explore the "kitty" room when we were with them.
- We gave our older cats the same amount of attention they were accustomed to.
- We didn't allow the big girls to "bully" the babies but...
- We didn't force them to let the babies get away with bothering them.
Introducing a New Kitten Into Your Household
So enamored by our two girls, we decided to adopt another kitty. We ended up taking two very young kittens, a brother and sister. We spent some time playing with and getting to know them before taking them home. We knew the big girls would be wary, but since they were so good at taking care of each other, we felt certain that once they saw these babies, they would melt. Meltdown is more like it! There was a lot of tension in our home during that time period. The big girls were curious but angry. The kittens disturbed them.The big girls didn't think they were adorable the way we did. They saw them as a threat: to their relationship to us, to their food and toys, and to their well being. We tried to do as much as we could to alleviate all their fears.
New Pet Poll
Have you ever introduced a new pet into your household?
Signs That Your Cat Is Jealous
These are some of the behaviors you may see:
- Tipping over of food bowls
- Making a mess of the litter box
- Using the floor instead of the litter box
- Not responding to you in their typical way
- Hiding
- Not making eye contact
- Fighting
A Multiple Cat Household
It took a few months for everyone to have a begrudging friendship.Everyone has their individual feeding bowls. They eat at the same time and checking out each other's bowl is only fair game when the owner has had their fill! All toys are shared and each cat has their favorite. Our younger cats and older cats are still not the best of friends much to my disappointment but they tolerate each other. Although Phoebe is clearly our dominant female, she has met her match in Ella! They are still jealous of each other and vie for our attention. Yet, sometimes when they think I'm not looking, they even kiss or groom each other!
Exceptions to the Rule
We have since added one more cat to our crazy household. She has proven to be the exception. I don't know a lot about her background but she came to us when she lost her beloved human mother to cancer. She has been in our home for over two years and still hasn't connected with the other three. She tends to bully and attack them when they are most vulnerable.She is still a work in progress!
It has been a few years since I originally wrote this article. We have since lost our male, Finn in a very tragic way.
Our Most Recent Addition
This article is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge. It is not meant to substitute for diagnosis, prognosis, treatment, prescription, or formal and individualized advice from a veterinary medical professional. Animals exhibiting signs and symptoms of distress should be seen by a veterinarian immediately.
Questions & Answers
I have had my Seal Point, was Maddy, examined by two different veterinarians, and they cannot find anything wrong. Maddy scratches at her ears until the fur is scratched off. Is this just O.C.D. behavior, or, could she have P.T.S.D.?
Did any of the vets talk about neurological reasons? If there is nothing physically wrong with Maddy then I would assume it is emotional.
I just adopted two eleven-week-old kittens; male and female respectively. They were the only ones in the litter. Immediately upon bringing them into our home, the female peed on our bed, her bed, a chair and me. We have them separated at night, and at times during the day. She does know how to use the litter box. From what I've observed, she urinates when annoyed by the dominance of her brother. I have four litter boxes, two sets of food/water, have washed/'Nature's Miracled' all the spots, etc. do you have any suggestions?
You didn't mention how long you've had them. She probably needs to get used to her new home. Was she spayed recently? That could also bother her. I would give her time to for settled but in the meantime, put the litter boxes in the areas where she is peeing. That may help.
Helpful 2I got a new kitten two days ago. My cat started hissing at it, and now he is hissing at everyone and gets mad if we try to pet him. Do you have any advice?
Keep them separate while your older cat gets used to having someone new in his home. Respect your older cat. He will want to protect his territory.
Helpful 13I moved into a house with my partner and brought my cat with me. We went from a household of just me, my cat, my father and my dad's cat to now just him. Lately, he has been screaming whenever my partner tries to communicate with me and from the moment I come home to when I go to bed. What can I do to help show him we are going to be ok as it is causing a strain on my relationship? (Will always choose my cat over my partner)
I think your cat is just jealous of your partner. It will take time for your kitty to realize that he is still number one. Make sure your partner takes some time to get to know your cat, too.
Helpful 10One of my two cats had kittens, and now the other cat is hissing at the mama cat. Why is she doing this?
She is probably confused and jealous. She should calm down soon.
Helpful 7
Comments
Please Help
I have a male and female cat. I got them both as babies and their siblings so they are the same age and have grown up together the last 7 months; however, my boy cat has become much less affectionate and more distant towards me. He was not that way as a baby and it's starting to hurt my feelings! My girl cat has always been super affectionate and craves attention so i believe maybe as he's gotten older he's jealous at how much attention and cuddles she gets, but she comes to me herself and is always under me! I go out of my way to find him and cuddle him even give him treats, but it doesn't seem to be working and he never stays for long when i try to cuddle so I'm really sad. He doesn't fight with his sister either so i really don't get it. He'll go hang out in my siblings room and cuddle my mom though so that makes me kind of jealous too because i don't understand why he won't love me and would rather be somewhere else. Im worried it's going to get worse now that my girl cat is pregnant and we'll have babies running around soon. What do i do?!
Hello,
We have a fixed feral community we take care of. About 2 weeks ago a dog got loose and killed one of our 6month old cats named "Sisters". We already have 4 tux kitties in our household ranging from 5-1. They all seem to get along fine. Our youngest is inseparable to our 2 year old. Now I fell we ruined the relationship between the 2 because the youngest ONLY wants to play with the one we are fostering, and ignores his buddy. They do play, but not like they use to. We would LOVE to keep her but we can't!!
We are scheduled to bring her by for an evaluation at our local SPCA and see if she can be adopted. WHY am I so nervous to bring her there?? I admit I have become a little attached. Any words of encouragement?? THANK YOU
Hi,
Thank you for your feedback, I definitely appreciate it. The last few days have been somewhat better with Cali ignoring Sasha for the majority of the time (only at times does she seem to want to aggressively play or fight with her). All day today she's been downstairs asleep while Sasha has been on our bed asleep.
If it does come to that, I'll be 100% sure that Cali goes to a good home and would be the only cat as she definitely seems to not prefer another one in the home (although strangely she had a brother and a sister that were brought in at the same time as her to the rescue shelter).
Wesley
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Hi,
Hoping someone has some advise, but we have a 5 year old female spayed flamepoint himalayan and back in June we adopted a 3 month old rescue kitten (Calico Female). The behavior has been the same - The rescue kitten is aggressive towards Sasha, she sees her go into the litter box (upstairs, downstairs in either location) and she stands outside and waits for her and then chases her. She chases her and pounces on her, tackles her, etc; as a Himalayan, Sasha has a very sweet personality and is extremely calm by nature, but with Cali's attacks it's caused her to be very timid in nature and every time Cali come near her, she growls at her.
I'm not sure if it's jealousy or aggressive nature of her being a Calico; have tried using pheromones, doesn't help at all. I pay Cali plenty of attention (she will climb in my lap and sit with me at times when she wants to) and I'm about at the end of my rope. Part of me thinks it's a phase as she's only about 8 months old, but part of me thinks this is how she is and it's not fair for Sasha and I wonder if I need to find a new home for Cali.
Any advise would be greatly appreciated.
i have had 2 rescue cats (a boy and girl) for 3 years and no problems until recently when i went away on vacation; they were well looked after by a friend who has cared for them before. whilst away the boy started to pee on his bed and poo in strange places. Things settled when i got back but now 3 weeks later he is terrible, weeing on the spare bed and pooing on my bed. i have put fresh and extra cat litter out, he is not unwell in any other way, saw the vet and given a clear bill of health. i have tried anti anxiety diffusers as he seems stressed (always a VERY nervous and scared cat) there is nothing else changed in the household. I am at my wits end i dont know how much longer i can cope with his behaviour. Please help.
My cat is hidding underneath the bed and hissing at me
My cat was verry loving she had kittens in our basement one of the kittens stayed with us they played together mother and dauther until we took the kitten to get spayed when we brought her home the war started mow she does not want to come inside. When she sees her she wants to kill her what do i do its like a war zone she evev scrached my husband on the face help
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Good morning Randi At present I have one kitty. But at one time when I lived in a very large house we had 13 kitties. My daughter worked for a vet and we often took in kitties as a half way house so to speak and would adopt them out. We eventually got down to 8 that we kept for years. There was not much jealousy going on. I guess we spend so much time with them individually they did not vie for our attention. Well done and interesting Angels are on the way this morning ps
My cat is 9 months old and loves me and my husband, but she will attack me! She will just jump at me and scratch and bite, but she won't do it to my husband. Hlp! Thank you.
We have 2 cats, one male and one female. Roughly 10 years old each. The female lived on the streets at a very early age but we got her when she was around one year. The male has always lived with people. We feed them in the laundry room on the counter because we also have 2 choc labs. Lately one of the cats is peeing on the laundry room rugs we think after every time they go in for water or food.
HELP!!!
Could this be territorial behavior over the food and water?
We have two indoor cats. A 5 year old male and a 1 year old female. They have got along well since we brought the kitten home. Harry got outside last week and finally came home after 2 days. Since returning, he is attacking Susan all the time. Hissing, charging, swatting and biting her. We are out of ideas as to what happened and how to fix it. Any thoughts ??
hI there.
I have adopted two cats that were abandoned and lived on the street. The girl stole food to survive and was timid but now sits with me and I can pick her up. She was already desexed.
The male was in a very bad way and had lived on the street for a long time. I saved him and. Is now very much my cat. I had him desexed.
The problem is he almost daily attacks the female when I am home, he chases her out the house when I am not.
I have tried reassuring him, scolding him, isolating him. Nothing works. Now when I come home I have to go looking for her.
She sits on the couch with me at night and he sleeps on the bed.
Any suggestions?
Hello, I have 2 adults cats, one female age 8 and a male age 7. We previously had a 3rd adult cat who was 13 years old but unfortunately passed away due to cancer. All three cats got along just fine with no issues ever especially between my two current cats, they actually used to play and get along pretty well. Last August we got a new kitten and things seem to be changing for the worse. My adult male cat, we believe at least, is very possessive and protective of the kitten. Lately we have noticed that after the kitten and the female cat play(they get pretty rough and we stop if it gets too aggressive) the male cat will hiss or act in an aggressive manner towards our female cat. Just today the kitten was playing with the female cat and afterwards I heard a growling and turned around and our male cat had a paw lifted, ears back and was about to attack our female cat but I yelled at him and he ran away immediately. I have noticed the two adults cats never play anymore and if it seems like the male cat is trying to play the female cat hisses at him and runs away. I don't want our cat to feel threatened or scared in her own home and it's really bugging me because I have never dealt with a situation like this and have no idea how to resolve this issue. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
Hi, I have an 8 months old cat and about 2 months ago got an 8 week old kitten. All was going well for the first 2 months but now my older cat keeps scrapping all the biscuits into the wet food part of the bowl (only when there's wet food in it) she also keeps putting the toy mouse in there too. She only does this to the kitten food, not her own. Could this be a jealousy thing?
I adopted my cat three years ago, and he quickly became a great companion. He has always been a very social cat, so much so that people are often surprised because he doesn't fit the typical "scared cat hiding under the bed" stereotype. Recently my girlfriend and I adopted a dog, he is a Jack Russel Terrier Mix so he isn't very big at all. It has only been a few days, but already my cat has been much less social, and he isn't playing with his toys as much as he did before. Is he upset with us? Or is he uncomfortable with this new member of the family? Do you have any advice on how to bring him back to his old self?
Hi, we just got an 8 week old kitten uesterday.
My cat Lily, whos been in the house for 11 years now has always been by my side wherever I go. Shes growling and hissing at Ivory the kitten. any advice to get them to be friends or at least tollerant as quickly as i can?
thanks,
-adam (16)
My cat hates my new puppy now she all of a sudden urinating on rugs what can I do
Hello again i read coment. We have tryed her in the same room she won't come in the luving room if im there she will only go in if im in my bed room.i just don't understand.i give her treats but she just doesn't like me for reason.
We have a cat that has had the run of the house for nine plus year and periodically we watch our daughter's dogs and she does not like them. They are afraid of her. Just recently I caught her pooping on the rug in the dining room and have been blaming the dogs. Her litter box is clean and she knows where it is located. I was in bed and heard some noise upstairs and caught her in the act (pooping on the carpet in the dining room) Usually it is just the three of us home, my husband, my cat and myself. Is she jealous and acting out of anger because the dogs are here periodically?
I just introduced an 8 wk old female kitten(Arya) to my 14 year old resident cat (Sasha). She has been used to living with 2 other dogs and a male cat, but I moved out of my parents home 1 year ago and took her with me and she has been living the life having my apartment to herself. I kept the kitten in a separate room for 1 week and tried to spread her scent around the house. My resident cat is DEFINITELY jealous and possessive over me. She has no interest or curiosity about the kitten at all, but she HATES her. When I am in the room with them Sasha hisses and growls and sounds terribly mean. I have not seen her be too agressive yet (only swatting once). For the most part she will leave the kitten alone unless she gets to close to me. I have definitely seen improvements, for instance the first few days she would not eat her food or walk past the bathroom door where I was keeping the kitten. Sasha doesn't show any kind of different attitude towards me, especially when I put the kitten away, but how do I get her more acclimated? She seems so uninterested that I don't know if they'll ever become friends. I know it will take time, but do you have any tips?
Thanks,
Savannah
Hello I was wondering if my cat could be sad or depressed. Yestarday I brought in a stray kitten that was living under my car and my cat sits and looks at me from a corner. He doesnt eat his favorite food (since yestarday), his pupils are always dialated and when I try to pet him he hisses. (That was only once because I still might have had the cats scent on me). I hope hes okay and if hes not should I just wait it out?
I have female black cat she doesn't like me she runs away when ever i come in any room.she hisses at me and has a weird meow she does.im the only one in my house hold that she doesn't like i need help it is really putting a damper on my relationship. Please help.
My 4 year old Ragdoll is expressing these jealous behaviors and is a 1 cat household. A year ago i split with my husband (my husband and I had him since he was 12 weeks old) and moved into my own place, he was fine for 3 months then i went away and put him at his normal cattery and since then he will not use his litter tray, unless I am standing over him watching. Otherwise he will go on the floor next to his tray. This is the same for peeing and pooing! I have tried all the “retraining” litter training, all the cleaning, taken to the vets EVERYTHING they tell you to do and no luck! ! I have a new partner now, who Rupert seems to love, he will sleep on this feet and not mine and follow him everywhere, so we didn’t think it could be jealousy but now I am thinking it could be, and if so, how do I stop this? We are getting to the point where we feel he is just doing it to annoy us! I still give him lots of cuddles and brushes and play with him from the minute I get home, so I just don’t know what to do? Any ideas?
Our one year old ginger is such a loving thing...to his Dad.
If my wife picks him up he instantly starts to bite her arm, but not me. He lays with me and curls up and I snuggle him and kiss him and he loves it again, only by me.
My wife was stroking my arm and he pushed her hand away, the more she tried to do it he pushed harder, then the claws came out followed by a bite.
He does get jealous at times and you can see it in his face.
why is my cat jealous when my dog gets pet but not her she gets mad at me a lot just because of that
Oh how I miss my kitty! :( I had the most amazing, bestest kitty ever . . . my favorite pet I've ever had, and he died a few months ago of renal failure. He was only four years old. I will get another kitty again though, hopefully sooner than later. I can't avoid hubs when they are about cats. Thanks for this one. ;)
Wonderful cat hub. You have an adorable crew! With four, I'm sure they are like any four people -- there are moments of peace and moments of discontent but I bet you don't have much boredom! I have 5 indoor ones myself.
Thank you so mcuh for this great hub yet again Randi. I love reading anything on animals as for the first time ever i do not have the company 0of any at all. This is a bone of contention between myself and my partner at the moment so we shall see. It doesn't stop me from enjoying reading about them though and I also love the images. Have a wonderful day.
Eddy.
I'm glad everything settled down and you're one happy household again. I love the cat photos. My dad had to introduce two cats (his) into a household with one dog (his new wife). The start was so rough that they thought it would be impossible for the 3 animals to live together. Now they've settled in and all is peaceful once again. : ) Your tips are great for introducing new animals to the house. Thanks!
:-) I may relent...but I'm not brave enough yet!
Voted up, useful and interesting! This was a great read, Randi! We don't have any pets now (I've managed to kill Cameron the First, the Second and the Third - fish - with kindness and lack of expertise; I can't go through that again with a larger animal!) but it did bring back great memories of the cats we had when I was in my late teens.
My parents always had dogs and cats when I was growing up. My husband and I started out with dogs. We now have 2 cats and my mother's Pomeranian dog. You can read about our first cat in the hub My Life as the Top Cat. Dusty still thinks of himself as such. He would just as soon dispatch Skippy the dog out of the house. Definite jealousy! Both of our cats were adults when they showed up needing help. Now they are inside cats. Peaches, our female cat is such a sweetie. She plays with both Dusty and Skippy.
Good tips on introducing new animals into the house. It took Dusty a couple of days to accept Peaches. Up, useful and interesting votes.
Haha maybe I should send my boyfriend to the pet store for food instead of me from now on!
I have 4 cats and each one was a different experience! I have never done it before myself (my mom has always been the one to initiate the cat introducings) but I am sure that I will be getting more cats when I move out. I am so glad I read your hub because now I am confident that I can do it! I voted this hub up and useful!
Good morning Randi from lake erie time ontario canada with a beautiful sunny day and milder temperatures although a very high wind off the lake/11:50am
Yes you just knew this title and most fascinating hub presentation would catch my eye - my Tiffy and Gabriel watch each other all of the time especially if I come into the mix so there was a lot of truth in what you write here but also much enlightenment too.
That's what good writers always do: they find something different in a story and make sure we go away satisfied and thanks to you dear Randi I have learnt something new today.
Sending sincere warm wishes to you and your family and hoping all is well with you.
Very helpful information, btrbell...right now I only have one kitty. She is my Honeybee and is actually an indoor/outdoor kitty by choice. There are a number of stray kitties that would like to be my kitties too.
At one time we had 13 kitties when we had a halfway house for animals in New Smyrna Beach (Fl). The way we got around the jealousy factor was that we got most of them at the same time. Then when a new one was introduced the pecking order was established. There were a few skirmishes but all in all it went well.
thanks for sharing this info..
Sending you Angels this evening :) ps
I think your experience with bringing new pets into a household would apply to dogs as well, Randi. Before my divorce, when I was living in my own home, I had a menagerie of critters, a Golden Retriever, Scottish Terrier, rescue Papillon, Sun Conyer, rescue aquatic turtle, a chinchilla and a rescue rabbit. My Scottie, MacGregor, was a typical terrier and picked his place as alpha dog. My 100 lb Golden, Leo, was more than happy to acquiese. Leo was happy, period, as long as he was fed and loved. The little rescue Papillon was shaky, scared and timid by the time my daughter rescued her from a heroin addict, where she was nearly starved. She stayed out of Mac's way and was happy with a warm, loving place to lay. Our home had the typical amount of dysfunction that worked for all the critters. Ironically, the lady that sold us MacGregor cautioned integrating our Scottie into a home with other dogs for 'his' protection. I used great care in the acclimation process and found that Mac could hold his own; in fact, he would have been a bully, if allowed. The doggie dynamics with Mac onboard demanded that I watch out for his roommates! They soon figured it out and lived in relative harmony.
Great writing, Randi. I admire your energy, generosity and caring for all the lucky critters you call your own.
What adorable babies! It is a challenge bringing in a new one, but you did a good job making the experience as smooth as possible. That's one of the times when cats will misbehave the most, when they get jealous. Mine all basically get along, but each one still wants ALL the attention from me. Loved this hub!
Loved reading about your kitties! I completely agree that house pet cats are not aloof--people who think that usually don't have a cat! The cat we had when I was in high school followed me around like a dog and demanded constant attention...I miss her. :)
We have 2 beautiful girls, and they are so sweet and loving at times. They really like to do the loving, but they do love for us to show them love too. They do have a predominant one, and they would have a tiff now and then to see who would be that one, but finally one gained total predominance hahahaa. They are not the jealous type just act like they could care less. They are very funny.
True words, Randi! We have a grand old lady here; she is about twelve years old. A few months ago we took in a couple kittens for a friend, and the jealousy started immediately. We were finally able to find homes for the kittens, but until we did we had to deal with the jealousy daily.
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