Jealous Behavior in Cats
Cats can be jealous?
Many people believe that because cats can be aloof, they don't get jealous. That is not true! Cat's get very jealous. They are jealous of other cats, other pets and often other people in the householod. They may seem to be aloof but they are watching and listening to the household going-ons and if they are not given the attention they feel they deserve, they will be sure to let you know! Jealous behavior can be demonstrated in several different ways, including:
- Anger
- Fighting
- "Potty" Accidents
- Further Aloofness
- Loud and demanding
Multiple Cat Household
Since jealousy has been a problem in my house recently, why not kill 2 birds with one stone (or just one very hungry kitty!) If you want a little more background on my brood, please read Life With Four Felines
The Typical Cat
Cats are typically a quieter, less demanding type of pet. They have a tendency to prefer to be alone a good part of the day. Often they are aloof and only seek out human contact when it is time for nourishment or physical warmth. That is the stereo typical cat. That is not the common house pet. Cats that are brought up and nurtured within a family are much more social. Their interactions far surpass the feeding and physical comfort stage. They are a part of the family and they begin to act like any household member. They include themselves in the "pecking order" of both the human family members and other pets. Cats can be quite territorial with their things and with their family. Any upset to their balance can cause anger, jealousy and hurt.
Single Cat Household
Our first cat was Phoebe. She was completely spoiled, went everywhere with us and was the perfect house pet. She ate cat food only, stayed off the table and loved to go for rides in the car! She was, essentially passed from arm to arm. We loved her so much, we decided to get another. We didn't really expect too many problems but I did a few things ahead of time, like make sure that there were new toys, feeding bowls and litter to try to ease the transition. Enter, Isabella. A two year old rescue cat. And then, the fun began.
Bringing a New Cat into the Home
Our new cat was already almost 2 and had probably been abused. She was a scared, meek little girl when we brought her home. Phoebe took one look at her and the chase began. It ensued for several days. Phoebe would perch on her tower and growl at Izzy. Izzy would run and hide. When she would finally get the nerve to come out again.....pounce! We decided to try holding both of the girls in our arms and showing them how much we loved them both. This caused our Phoebe to go ballistic, race all over the house and knock as many things down as she could! Realizing this was all due to jealousy, we left them alone, not giving anyone special preference or too much attention. After several days, things calmed down. They established their own ground rules. They decided that Phoebe was the dominant female and they became the best of friends. We had, once again, a peaceful home with two sweet, loving kitty girls.
Yin and Yang
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Steps to Introducing your new kitten
These are the things that we did to ease the transition:
- We kept the kittens in a separate room for the first two weeks.
- They had their own food bowls and litter box and their own toys.
- We slowly introduced them to the older cats.
- They only came out when supervised by us.
- We allowed the older cats to explore the "kitty" room when we were with them.
- We gave our older cats the same amount of attention they were accustomed to.
- We didn't allow the big girls to "bully" the babies but...
- We didn't force them to let the babies get away with bothering them.
Introducing a New Kitten into your Household
So enamored by our two girls, we decided to adopt another kitty. We ended up taking two very young kittens, a brother and sister. We spent some time playing with and getting to know them before taking them home. We knew the big girls would be wary, but since they were so good at taking care of each other, we felt certain that once they saw these babies, they would melt. Meltdown is more like it! There was a lot of tension in our home during that time period. The big girls were curious but angry. The kittens disturbed them.The big girls didn't think they were adorable the way we did. They saw them as a threat. A threat to their relationship to us, a threat to their food and toys and a threat to their well being. We tried to do as much as we could to alleviate all their fears.
New Pet Poll
Have you ever introduced a new pet into your household?
Take a look at this article on How to Love Cats by hub writer Shazwellyn. It is a comprehensive hub with all kinds of insight into cats!
Signs that your Cat is Jealous
These are some of the behaviors you may see:
- Tipping over of food bowls
- Making a mess of the litter box
- Using the floor instead of the litter box
- Not responding to you in their typical way
- Hiding
- Not making eye contact
- Fighting
A Multiple Cat Household
It took a few months for everyone to have a begrudging friendship.Everyone has their individual feeding bowls. They eat at the same time and checking out each other's bowl is only fair game when the owner has had their fill! All toys are shared and each cat has their favorite. Our younger cats and older cats are still not the best of friends much to my disappointment but they tolerate each other. Although Phoebe is clearly our dominant female, she has met her match in Ella! They are still jealous of each other and vie for our attention. Yet, sometimes when they think I'm not looking, they even kiss or groom each other!
Exceptions to the Rule
We have since added one more cat to our crazy household. She has proven to be the exception. I don't know a lot about her background but she came to us when she lost her beloved human mother to cancer. She has been in our home for over two years and still hasn't connected with the other three. She tends to bully and attack them when they are most vulnerable.She is still a work in progress!
It has been a few years since I originally wrote this article. We have since lost our male, Finn in a very tragic way. To read more about that and more articles about cats, feel free to check out these hubs:
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Questions & Answers
Comments
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Hi Joey!
That doesn't sound like fun! It's hard enough to deal with healosy but when it separates best friends, is even harder.
I think you may have to check into cat behavioralists. Your male is protecting the kitten from what he perceives (possibly correctly) as danger from your adult female. And she is probsbly feeling left out with the other 2 bonding do well. I think it's important that you validate all their feelings but try not to stop somr of the fighting between the 2 big ones. They just may need to duke it out.
Good luck.
Hello, I have 2 adults cats, one female age 8 and a male age 7. We previously had a 3rd adult cat who was 13 years old but unfortunately passed away due to cancer. All three cats got along just fine with no issues ever especially between my two current cats, they actually used to play and get along pretty well. Last August we got a new kitten and things seem to be changing for the worse. My adult male cat, we believe at least, is very possessive and protective of the kitten. Lately we have noticed that after the kitten and the female cat play(they get pretty rough and we stop if it gets too aggressive) the male cat will hiss or act in an aggressive manner towards our female cat. Just today the kitten was playing with the female cat and afterwards I heard a growling and turned around and our male cat had a paw lifted, ears back and was about to attack our female cat but I yelled at him and he ran away immediately. I have noticed the two adults cats never play anymore and if it seems like the male cat is trying to play the female cat hisses at him and runs away. I don't want our cat to feel threatened or scared in her own home and it's really bugging me because I have never dealt with a situation like this and have no idea how to resolve this issue. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
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@Angela, ashleyrenee444 and Adam....Yes, your cats are jealous and worried. They are afraid the new pets are replacing them. I believe it is always better to keep them separate until they get used to the scent of eachother. You should also be careful to get new things (feeding bowls, toys, blankets, etc) for the new pets or your older pets will really feel replaced. Good luck!
Hi, I have an 8 months old cat and about 2 months ago got an 8 week old kitten. All was going well for the first 2 months but now my older cat keeps scrapping all the biscuits into the wet food part of the bowl (only when there's wet food in it) she also keeps putting the toy mouse in there too. She only does this to the kitten food, not her own. Could this be a jealousy thing?
I adopted my cat three years ago, and he quickly became a great companion. He has always been a very social cat, so much so that people are often surprised because he doesn't fit the typical "scared cat hiding under the bed" stereotype. Recently my girlfriend and I adopted a dog, he is a Jack Russel Terrier Mix so he isn't very big at all. It has only been a few days, but already my cat has been much less social, and he isn't playing with his toys as much as he did before. Is he upset with us? Or is he uncomfortable with this new member of the family? Do you have any advice on how to bring him back to his old self?
Hi, we just got an 8 week old kitten uesterday.
My cat Lily, whos been in the house for 11 years now has always been by my side wherever I go. Shes growling and hissing at Ivory the kitten. any advice to get them to be friends or at least tollerant as quickly as i can?
thanks,
-adam (16)
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That's a tough one, Lorna. Your cat is likely jealous/frightened. Hopeflly she will get used to him and stop the behavior on her own. In the meantime, I am giving you a link to help you stop the urinating all over the house. Good luck! https://pethelpful.com/cats/how-to-stop-your-cat-f...
My cat hates my new puppy now she all of a sudden urinating on rugs what can I do
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Hi Savannah! To be honest, yours is a tough situation. I have had similar experiences where I have had bith extremely positive and not so positive results. Our last kittens were never so much accepted as tolerated by the older cats. We decided we would go with that until we brought a foster home. She was a bully.That was when we saw that the older girls may not have "liked" the kitties but they protected them against the bully. Kind of like family!
I hope things are calming down in your household and they are beginning to get along.
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Hi Wanda! I think she is probably acting out because of the dogs. They are, after all, invading her territory!
That being said, make sure they aren't obstructing her path to the litter box in any way. They may not be innocent either. We had a foster for a while and when she was here, I had to add a litter box for the other girls. Good luck!
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Hi Jennifer! I still think it may be jealousy. Cats are pretty picky about who they bestow their affection on. What concerns me more is that rather than ignore you, she seems angry with you. Depending on your budget, you may be good candidates for consulting a cat behaviorist. In the meantime, I think you should just ignore her entirely. Don't react to her hissing. Don't try to engage her in any way. No treats, etc. She may decide that she misses It! Good luck!
Hello again i read coment. We have tryed her in the same room she won't come in the luving room if im there she will only go in if im in my bed room.i just don't understand.i give her treats but she just doesn't like me for reason.
We have a cat that has had the run of the house for nine plus year and periodically we watch our daughter's dogs and she does not like them. They are afraid of her. Just recently I caught her pooping on the rug in the dining room and have been blaming the dogs. Her litter box is clean and she knows where it is located. I was in bed and heard some noise upstairs and caught her in the act (pooping on the carpet in the dining room) Usually it is just the three of us home, my husband, my cat and myself. Is she jealous and acting out of anger because the dogs are here periodically?
I just introduced an 8 wk old female kitten(Arya) to my 14 year old resident cat (Sasha). She has been used to living with 2 other dogs and a male cat, but I moved out of my parents home 1 year ago and took her with me and she has been living the life having my apartment to herself. I kept the kitten in a separate room for 1 week and tried to spread her scent around the house. My resident cat is DEFINITELY jealous and possessive over me. She has no interest or curiosity about the kitten at all, but she HATES her. When I am in the room with them Sasha hisses and growls and sounds terribly mean. I have not seen her be too agressive yet (only swatting once). For the most part she will leave the kitten alone unless she gets to close to me. I have definitely seen improvements, for instance the first few days she would not eat her food or walk past the bathroom door where I was keeping the kitten. Sasha doesn't show any kind of different attitude towards me, especially when I put the kitten away, but how do I get her more acclimated? She seems so uninterested that I don't know if they'll ever become friends. I know it will take time, but do you have any tips?
Thanks,
Savannah
- Author
He is definitely jealous! If you are keeping the stray, there are a few things you need to do. First you should have a Vet take a look at the kitty. Make sure he is healthy. Then you will need to ease them i not each other. Get a different bowl for food and water so your older cat doesn't feel like you are replacing him. Good luck
Hello I was wondering if my cat could be sad or depressed. Yestarday I brought in a stray kitten that was living under my car and my cat sits and looks at me from a corner. He doesnt eat his favorite food (since yestarday), his pupils are always dialated and when I try to pet him he hisses. (That was only once because I still might have had the cats scent on me). I hope hes okay and if hes not should I just wait it out?
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Jennifer, I am so sorry this is happening to you. Cats are cery difficult to read sometimes. Like all animals, they have good instincts. She may be jealous of your relationship. She may feel that your partner is giving her less attention/affection because of you. Try including her more when you are together but when you are alone, just go about you business without calling attention to her. Hopefully, she'll calm down and get to know you but I recommend that you be as laid back as possible. Good luck
I have female black cat she doesn't like me she runs away when ever i come in any room.she hisses at me and has a weird meow she does.im the only one in my house hold that she doesn't like i need help it is really putting a damper on my relationship. Please help.
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@Lisa Pedley I think jealousy could play a part, yet, as you aaid, he loves your new partner. In the beginning I'm sure he missed your ex and old home. I definitely think this is behavioral. I have a similar situation with my most recent foster.
I don't how much you are able to spend but I think the only thing that you can do at this point is either wait it out (fingers crossed & paper towels at the ready) or consult with a cat behaviorist. Just google "cat whisperer" Good luck!
My 4 year old Ragdoll is expressing these jealous behaviors and is a 1 cat household. A year ago i split with my husband (my husband and I had him since he was 12 weeks old) and moved into my own place, he was fine for 3 months then i went away and put him at his normal cattery and since then he will not use his litter tray, unless I am standing over him watching. Otherwise he will go on the floor next to his tray. This is the same for peeing and pooing! I have tried all the “retraining” litter training, all the cleaning, taken to the vets EVERYTHING they tell you to do and no luck! ! I have a new partner now, who Rupert seems to love, he will sleep on this feet and not mine and follow him everywhere, so we didn’t think it could be jealousy but now I am thinking it could be, and if so, how do I stop this? We are getting to the point where we feel he is just doing it to annoy us! I still give him lots of cuddles and brushes and play with him from the minute I get home, so I just don’t know what to do? Any ideas?
Our one year old ginger is such a loving thing...to his Dad.
If my wife picks him up he instantly starts to bite her arm, but not me. He lays with me and curls up and I snuggle him and kiss him and he loves it again, only by me.
My wife was stroking my arm and he pushed her hand away, the more she tried to do it he pushed harder, then the claws came out followed by a bite.
He does get jealous at times and you can see it in his face.
why is my cat jealous when my dog gets pet but not her she gets mad at me a lot just because of that
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I am so sorry about your kitty, Jennifer :( They are truly members of our family. My crew is pretty goofy right now and a bit overcrowded but ....they are all cherished!
Oh how I miss my kitty! :( I had the most amazing, bestest kitty ever . . . my favorite pet I've ever had, and he died a few months ago of renal failure. He was only four years old. I will get another kitty again though, hopefully sooner than later. I can't avoid hubs when they are about cats. Thanks for this one. ;)
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Thank you, FlourishAnyway! they are pretty adorable and the little ones are always into something! Good for you on 5! I may be joining that status unless I find a good home for our outdoor kitten.
Wonderful cat hub. You have an adorable crew! With four, I'm sure they are like any four people -- there are moments of peace and moments of discontent but I bet you don't have much boredom! I have 5 indoor ones myself.
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Thank you, Eddy! Yes, pets can be the cause of many disaggreements between family members and partners. Tread lightly! You have a wonderful day, as well!
Thank you so mcuh for this great hub yet again Randi. I love reading anything on animals as for the first time ever i do not have the company 0of any at all. This is a bone of contention between myself and my partner at the moment so we shall see. It doesn't stop me from enjoying reading about them though and I also love the images. Have a wonderful day.
Eddy.
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Thank you, Vespawoolf! I appreciate your comments! It's funny, just when you think everyone is calm, another one starts "posturing"! Oh well, it's a lot like kids!
I'm glad everything settled down and you're one happy household again. I love the cat photos. My dad had to introduce two cats (his) into a household with one dog (his new wife). The start was so rough that they thought it would be impossible for the 3 animals to live together. Now they've settled in and all is peaceful once again. : ) Your tips are great for introducing new animals to the house. Thanks!
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lol! It took me a long time! We only got Phoebe less than 5 years ago!
:-) I may relent...but I'm not brave enough yet!
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Thank you Anahi! I've never done so well with fish either. The cats have turned out to be easier!
Voted up, useful and interesting! This was a great read, Randi! We don't have any pets now (I've managed to kill Cameron the First, the Second and the Third - fish - with kindness and lack of expertise; I can't go through that again with a larger animal!) but it did bring back great memories of the cats we had when I was in my late teens.
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Thank you, Peggy for stopping by. I look forward to reading about menagerie! I also grew up with dogs. Phoebe was my first house cat! Thank you so much for the votes!
My parents always had dogs and cats when I was growing up. My husband and I started out with dogs. We now have 2 cats and my mother's Pomeranian dog. You can read about our first cat in the hub My Life as the Top Cat. Dusty still thinks of himself as such. He would just as soon dispatch Skippy the dog out of the house. Definite jealousy! Both of our cats were adults when they showed up needing help. Now they are inside cats. Peaches, our female cat is such a sweetie. She plays with both Dusty and Skippy.
Good tips on introducing new animals into the house. It took Dusty a couple of days to accept Peaches. Up, useful and interesting votes.
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I know, right?! I'm a sucker!
Haha maybe I should send my boyfriend to the pet store for food instead of me from now on!
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Wow! Another crazy cat lady! Thanks so much for your comments and votes. Go slowly on building the zoo. I am sometimes overwhelmed here! Lol
I have 4 cats and each one was a different experience! I have never done it before myself (my mom has always been the one to initiate the cat introducings) but I am sure that I will be getting more cats when I move out. I am so glad I read your hub because now I am confident that I can do it! I voted this hub up and useful!
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Thank you, Colin! It is raining now :( Everyone is a little jumpy here at the moment! I always appreciate seeing you here and am thrilled if I have imparted anything of value to you!
Good morning Randi from lake erie time ontario canada with a beautiful sunny day and milder temperatures although a very high wind off the lake/11:50am
Yes you just knew this title and most fascinating hub presentation would catch my eye - my Tiffy and Gabriel watch each other all of the time especially if I come into the mix so there was a lot of truth in what you write here but also much enlightenment too.
That's what good writers always do: they find something different in a story and make sure we go away satisfied and thanks to you dear Randi I have learnt something new today.
Sending sincere warm wishes to you and your family and hoping all is well with you.
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Pstraubie, thank you for stopping by and all your great comments. You are so appreciated. What you did in that halfway house was spe ial!
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Amy, if I could, I'd keep adopting all those sweet babies but unfortunately money and space are factors that have to be considered. I would love dogs also. Thank you for your great comments. I so enjoy hearing about you!
Very helpful information, btrbell...right now I only have one kitty. She is my Honeybee and is actually an indoor/outdoor kitty by choice. There are a number of stray kitties that would like to be my kitties too.
At one time we had 13 kitties when we had a halfway house for animals in New Smyrna Beach (Fl). The way we got around the jealousy factor was that we got most of them at the same time. Then when a new one was introduced the pecking order was established. There were a few skirmishes but all in all it went well.
thanks for sharing this info..
Sending you Angels this evening :) ps
I think your experience with bringing new pets into a household would apply to dogs as well, Randi. Before my divorce, when I was living in my own home, I had a menagerie of critters, a Golden Retriever, Scottish Terrier, rescue Papillon, Sun Conyer, rescue aquatic turtle, a chinchilla and a rescue rabbit. My Scottie, MacGregor, was a typical terrier and picked his place as alpha dog. My 100 lb Golden, Leo, was more than happy to acquiese. Leo was happy, period, as long as he was fed and loved. The little rescue Papillon was shaky, scared and timid by the time my daughter rescued her from a heroin addict, where she was nearly starved. She stayed out of Mac's way and was happy with a warm, loving place to lay. Our home had the typical amount of dysfunction that worked for all the critters. Ironically, the lady that sold us MacGregor cautioned integrating our Scottie into a home with other dogs for 'his' protection. I used great care in the acclimation process and found that Mac could hold his own; in fact, he would have been a bully, if allowed. The doggie dynamics with Mac onboard demanded that I watch out for his roommates! They soon figured it out and lived in relative harmony.
Great writing, Randi. I admire your energy, generosity and caring for all the lucky critters you call your own.
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Thank you so much, catgypsy! They are precious to me! They are also a handful!
What adorable babies! It is a challenge bringing in a new one, but you did a good job making the experience as smooth as possible. That's one of the times when cats will misbehave the most, when they get jealous. Mine all basically get along, but each one still wants ALL the attention from me. Loved this hub!
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Thank you for your input, SaffronBlossom! Ido love my babies!
Loved reading about your kitties! I completely agree that house pet cats are not aloof--people who think that usually don't have a cat! The cat we had when I was in high school followed me around like a dog and demanded constant attention...I miss her. :)
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Thank you Nancy for stopping by and sharing your story! They are funny and fun!
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Thanks, Bill, I can always count on you to stop by! Yes, they are funny animals. I went overboard with the last 2. No more new ones for awhile!
We have 2 beautiful girls, and they are so sweet and loving at times. They really like to do the loving, but they do love for us to show them love too. They do have a predominant one, and they would have a tiff now and then to see who would be that one, but finally one gained total predominance hahahaa. They are not the jealous type just act like they could care less. They are very funny.
True words, Randi! We have a grand old lady here; she is about twelve years old. A few months ago we took in a couple kittens for a friend, and the jealousy started immediately. We were finally able to find homes for the kittens, but until we did we had to deal with the jealousy daily.
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