Cats Not Getting Along? Tips to Get Them to Stop Fighting Each Other

Updated on August 8, 2019
carolynkaye profile image

I've been a cat owner for most of my life and have learned many tips and tricks for keeping cats happy and healthy.

Find out some reasons why cats sometimes don't get along and some tips to help them co-exist peacefully in your home.
Find out some reasons why cats sometimes don't get along and some tips to help them co-exist peacefully in your home.

Do you have two cats that aren’t getting along? There could be a multitude of reasons why your cats are fighting, and you need to find out why it’s happening before you can solve the problem. I will explain the various reasons why some cats don't get along with each other and offer solutions to help you bring peace to your household.

Note

All cat fights are not the same. Sometimes what looks like a cat fight may actually be normal playing. This is more common with younger cats, but it can happen at any age. Cats will chase each other around the house, tackle each other, and fight like little wrestlers on the floor. It can sometimes get pretty intense, but, as long as they're not crying out in pain, there’s no need to break them up. They’re probably just having fun or trying to establish their rank in the household.

Reasons Why Cats Fight Each Other

  1. Competition for social ranking
  2. A new cat is introduced to the current ones in the household
  3. Territorial behavior
  4. Scents get mixed when they come home from the vet
  5. Illness
  6. Stress
  7. Personality conflicts

1. Competition for Social Ranking

If your cats are still in the getting-to-know-each-other phase (the first few months after a new cat has been brought into the home) and are doing the kind of play fighting described above, don’t worry. They’re probably battling for the alpha cat position in the household.

This happened with my two cats after they met. The play fighting went on for about two or three months. They had a good fight almost every day. Gradually, that tapered off, and they began getting along much better.

Solution: If you suspect that’s what’s going on with your cats, then just let them get it out of their system.

"Don't mess with me!"
"Don't mess with me!"

2. A New Cat Is Not Getting Along With Current Cat(s) in the Household

Bringing a new cat or kitten into the home when you already have one or more cats can upset the current hierarchy within the household. A proper, slow introduction will help ease the adjustment. Below is an introduction technique to try even if your cats have already met and spent time together.

Source

Technique for Introducing or Reintroducing an Old Cat to a New Kitten/Cat

These tips can be used to introduce two cats when one is aggressive or to introduce two aggressive cats. You can also use this method to reintroduce cats that suddenly aren't getting along anymore.

  1. Separate the cats that aren’t getting along.
  2. Give the newest cat or kitten its own safe room. It can be a bedroom, a bathroom, a laundry room, or any room with a door where the cat can be isolated from the other felines in the household. Make this room the cat’s special place, complete with his water, food, litter box, bedding, and toys. This is an important step to calm the situation and to make sure your pet is safe and protected from the other felines.
  3. For the first week, the only contact the cats should have is batting at each other’s paws at the bottom of the door. That’s it.
  4. During this week, put a clean towel in this room and give your other cat(s) a clean towel to rest on as well. After the cats have slept on the towels for a while and their scents are on them, switch towels so both cats can adjust to each other’s scents. Do this towel switching once or twice a day.
  5. Also during this week, allow your existing cats to explore your new cat’s room when he’s not in it. This is another way for the cats to get used to each other’s scent.
  6. When a week has passed, put the cats in their separate carriers and place the carriers a couple feet apart, facing each other. There may be some hissing or growling, but that’s normal. As they become more used to seeing each other, move the carriers a little closer together. Keep doing this carrier technique once or twice a day for a couple of days.
  7. Now they’re ready to meet again. I usually like to start with the two cats in a carrier on opposite sides of the room and then let them both out. Be sure someone is there at all times to supervise them very closely at this point. There can be a variety of reactions. Hiding. Hissing. Growling. Sniffing each other. Swatting. If they start to fight, break it up by clapping loudly, and then distract them with toys or a couple of treats. If it goes (relatively) well, let them spend no more than an hour together. If things aren’t going well, put the new cat back in his safe room and let them meet again like this tomorrow.

If this introduction technique doesn’t go well, and the cats are still aggressively fighting after a couple of days, you will have to start the entire introduction technique again and go through each step much more slowly over the period of several weeks.

Cats That Used to Get Along Are Suddenly Fighting

There can be several things that cause formerly friendly cats to suddenly begin fighting with each other. The following are some of the most common reasons:

  • Territorial behavior
  • Scents get mixed when they come home from the vet
  • Illness
  • Stress or redirected aggression
  • Personality conflicts

3. Territorial Behavior

If one or both cats begin feeling territorial about their favorite lounging spot, their litter box, or their food bowls, this can cause fights. If you notice fights that seem to come from one or more of these things, you’re going to need to do some separation.

Solution:

  • Feed the cats in separate areas or even separate rooms, if necessary.
  • Make sure you have enough litter boxes in the house, and put one of them in a different place in case one of the cats has claimed a particular litter box as his own.
  • See that each cat has his own resting spot, whether that’s a bed, a cat tree, or just a blanket of their own.
  • If the fights are particularly bad (i.e. fur is flying or blood is drawn), be sure to keep the cats in completely separate rooms unless someone’s around to keep an eye on them.
  • If you go out, make sure they’re separated.

4. Cats Don't Get Along After Surgery or Vet Visit

It’s common for cats in the home to act differently toward a cat that has returned from a vet visit. Cats communicate and share a common scent when they spend time together under the same roof. When a cat comes back from a visit to the vet where he has been handled by strangers or treated with medicine that smells funny, he is covered in a "new" scent that the cats at home find strange. This causes them to react to the cat that was at the vet as if it were a stranger. Hissing, growling, tail puffing, swatting, or even fights are possible reactions.

Fortunately, this usually resolves itself within a day or two once the “vet office smell” wears off, and the cats return to their normal routine.

Solution:

  • Try to schedule vet visits for each of your felines at the same time.
  • If that's not possible, separate the cat returning from the vet by putting him in a separate room for at least half a day. This gives him time to groom himself and remove the "offensive" smell from his body.
  • Use a hand towel to rub your cats. Then rub this towel on the cat returning from the vet to reintroduce the communal scent that everyone is familiar with.
  • You can also rub a strong smell on all of your cats so they all smell alike. Try rubbing your hands with water from canned tuna and stroking all of your cats. This way, they will all smell the same. The tuna scent will even encourage them to groom themselves and each other, which is a great way for them to re-establish their family bond.

Note

If the cat you bring home from the vet isn’t in a condition to defend herself, it’s best to keep her away from the other cat(s) until she is in better health.

5. Illness

Cats instinctively hide illness as a means of survival, so it can often be very difficult to know if your cat is sick, and, sometimes, by the time they do show actual symptoms, they’re extremely ill.

If one of your cats is ill, they may be more short-tempered and begin fighting with another cat they previously got along with. Also, multiple cats in a household form a hierarchy, so if your "alpha cat" is ill, another cat may be fighting to take over its spot.

Solution:

Be aware of any signs of illness, such as changes in eating or drinking habits, litter box habits, or energy level. If you aren’t sure if you have a sick cat, you should definitely take it to the veterinarian to rule out illness as a cause of the new fighting.

Source

6. Stress or Redirected Aggression

Stress

Cats like predictability in their home environment. Anytime something changes, your cat may feel stressed and be more likely to pick fights with other cats in the household.

Some possible stressors can include:

  • Moving to a new home
  • Travel
  • A new person in the home
  • A new pet in the home
  • Returning home from boarding

Solution:

Stress isn’t always preventable, but keeping your cats’ routine and schedule as normal as possible can help reduce their stress level. Try to feed them at their regular times and make sure they have access to their favorite blanket, bed, and toys. Additionally, brushing your cats or taking time to play with them can help alleviate their anxiety.

Redirected Aggression

Cats also show aggression towards other felines in the house when they are provoked or agitated by something they see but can't attack. For example, if your cat sees a squirrel outside the window but can't attack it, she might attack another cat that happens to walk into the same room at that moment. If this happens frequently enough, your other cat will start attacking the cat that was agitated, which leads to the two felines no longer being tolerable of one another.

Solution:

Find out what the stimulus is that is provoking your cat, and try to remove that stimulus or remove your cat to avoid provoking her and to prevent her from taking it out on another feline.

Source

7. Personality Conflicts

Just like people, some cats just don’t get along for whatever reason. Although felines tend to be quiet and low key, they all have very distinct personalities. Some are aggressive and bold, others are timid or laid-back and carefree. Things can sometimes get a little dicey when these personalities come together under one roof. Maybe you have an energetic young cat or kitten that’s constantly annoying your older, more sedate cat, or you have two females that just can’t seem to get along. These types of conflicts can be temporary or on-going, and the best thing to do is make sure the cats have as much of their own space as possible.

Solution:

  • Diffuse the situation by separating areas to eat, sleep, and use the litter box.
  • Give each cat plenty of individual attention and find ways to distract them so they have something to do other than fight.
  • Try various cat toys, such as the Bergen TurboScratcher, springs, or whatever types of toys your cats are most interested in.
  • If the fights are extreme enough that you fear they’ll injure each other, put the cats in separate rooms at night or when you leave the house.

"Who you looking at???"
"Who you looking at???"

How to Get Your Cats to Like Each Other

  • Make sure each cat has plenty of his or her own space. This means putting their food and water bowls, litter boxes, and beds in separate areas.
  • Don’t give the cats catnip. It can increase aggression in some cats.
  • Have plenty of their favorite cat toys around to distract them from fighting.
  • Make the time they spend together as pleasant as possible. Encourage fun activities, such as playing or giving each one a treat.
  • If you have a big cardboard box, open both ends and put it on the floor for them to crawl and play in. It's rare to find a cat that doesn't have fun with cardboard boxes.
  • Give each cat plenty of individual attention.
  • Don’t leave the cats alone together when you go out until you're confident they're not going to get into a serious fight.
  • Have some Feliway on hand. Feliway is a product that replicates a pheromone that can calm cats during times of stress or fighting. It comes in both a spray and an electric diffuser. It can be purchased at most pet stores and online.
  • If your cat(s) are not spayed or neutered, they will be more prone to aggressive behavior. Unless you breed cats, consider having your pet neutered.

Source

How to Break Up a Real Cat Fight

  • In a real catfight, you’ll see claws and teeth and hear plenty of hissing, growling, and crying.
  • You will want to break up this type of fight, but don’t get in the middle of it.
  • The best way is to clap loudly or stomp on the floor to scare them.
  • Some people suggest spraying the warring cats with a water bottle, but I’ve heard mixed opinions on whether that’s a good idea.
  • If you try to pull one cat off the other, you’ll likely end up getting scratched.
  • Of course, remember to never hit or strike your pet. It won’t solve the problem and will only make them distrust you.

How Long Does It Take Cats to Get Used to Each Other?

According to the ASPCA, it can take eight months to a year for cats to develop friendships. Some will learn to love each other, but you might have to face the reality that not all cats will get along. They will usually try to avoid each other if a friendship doesn't develop, but sometimes fights break out and, unfortunately, persist until one cat has to be re-homed.

Source

Do Two Male or Two Female Cats Get Along Better?

It is common to think that two female cats are more likely to cause drama, but, in reality, it is hard to predict whether cats will get along based on gender alone. Stereotypical behaviors associated with gender, however, still exist, and it's important to keep them in mind when choosing the sex of your kittens.

Males

Neutered male cats are generally more accepting of other cats. If you have unneutered males, then they may engage in fighting or other shows of aggression to express dominance.

Females

Females are competitive in their own way, and they usually fight for their owner's undivided attention. They also express princess-like behavior and each believe they are the queen of the house. You can imagine why having two or more "queens" in the same household can cause problem.

Does Gender Matter?

It does to an extent, however, two males, two females, or even a pair of male and female can get along as long as they are introduced at a young age. Friendships can form with older cats, but they are much more difficult. If you want to introduce adult cats, be sure they are of the same size and around the same age so as to avoid bullying.

It took a little time, but these guys are now best friends!
It took a little time, but these guys are now best friends!

It’s possible that some cats may never quite get along, but usually they will learn to accept each other if you try some of the ideas mentioned above. It takes time and patience in some cases, but you should see at least some improvement.

With a little effort on our part, most conflicts can be resolved or at least reduced to the point where the cats learn to tolerate each other without resorting to serious fights.

I hope these tips have been useful to you, and I hope your cats will soon learn to enjoy each other’s company.

This article is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge. It is not meant to substitute for diagnosis, prognosis, treatment, prescription, or formal and individualized advice from a veterinary medical professional. Animals exhibiting signs and symptoms of distress should be seen by a veterinarian immediately.

Questions & Answers

  • I have an 11-year-old cat who's been the only cat. Recently we’ve taken in a stray. My cat is so upset, remains in one side of the house and refuses to even meet the new kitty. I feel horrible. It’s been about a month, and she’s still so upset. Should I try and find a new home for our new kitty? He’s very sweet, and my kids would be crushed, but I feel bad for my older cat!

    Since your cat has had you and your family all to herself until now, this is a very normal reaction. I had the same experience when I added a second cat. Though it depends on the cat, it can take a while for your existing cat to adjust. It might take a few more weeks or months before the cat starts interacting with the new cat. I know it's difficult to think you've upset your cat by adding another, but in my experience, it's just a phase, and eventually, she'll get over it. I wouldn't consider finding a new home for the second one. Just give the situation more time and find ways to encourage interaction, play and a few cat treats.

  • We rescued a young female cat and brought her into a home with three established males. The males are all pretty laid back, and interested in getting to know the new cat, but she is very aggressive and screams and goes after them if they get too close to her or us. She behaves as if she was the original cat and the males are the new cats. What can we do to get her to quit being such a bully?

    From what you describe, this sounds like the female cat is reacting aggressively due to the changes in her life. A new home, a new family and three cats she sees as strangers is a lot to handle. Cats thrive on routine, so her reaction sounds fairly normal, especially if you've recently adopted her. She could feel intimidated and possibly stressed. Her behavior might also be part of her personality or related to experiences she had with other cats before you took her in.

    To improve the situation, I would first work on getting her calm, settled and adjusted to your family, your home and your routine before I'd worry too much about the relationship with the other cats. I think this is something that will happen in time as she adjusts to her new home. It's a positive sign that the male cats want to get to know her.

    If you can somehow keep her away from the males, even for a few days, and spend time brushing her, playing and letting her explore without worrying about interactions with the other cats, that might help. Bach Rescue Remedy Pet Formula drops in her water also might be worth a try to calm her down. (You can find this at some grocery stores in the vitamin section, pet stores or health food stores).

    Once she's calmer and more settled, try letting her spend time with one of the males at a time. Let them spend short sessions together (ideally playing) until you see some improvement in how she interacts with them one on one.

    Once she has a chance to get more familiar with each one, have them all spend time together for brief periods until you see enough improvement to have everyone together all the time.

    I think if you do this slowly, without her having around all the existing cats at once, she might be less of a bully and become more mellow as time goes on.

  • We have a three-year-old male cat, and we just brought a six-week-old male kitten into our home. We've had him since July, but they both continue to fight and hiss. Our older cat seems really jealous. He even growls at me now and scratches me when I pet him, which he has never done before. Will they ever become friends, or did we make a mistake bringing another cat into the house?

    I think your older cat just needs more time to get used to the idea of a kitten in the house. The kitten is probably quite a bit more active than he is, so he might be annoyed by that, too.

    Try to give him space if he needs it. If he wants to hide and sit by himself, that's fine. If he comes up to you and wants attention, pet him, but be cautious until he starts acting more like himself.

    Once he calms down a little, you can try getting a cat toy they can play with together. The Turbo Scratcher is a good one for this, especially with kittens. If you can get them to start playing and rewarding them with a treat if it goes well, I think this will help.

    In my experience, it’s just a matter of being patient with the cat and giving him time to adjust.

  • We have two female sister cats. They have been great for four years, that is until one month ago. It seems like they just can’t get along any more. Is there anything we can try?

    There's usually a reason for cats suddenly not getting along. Has anything changed recently? Moving? A new addition to the home? Could one of them be feeling unwell and getting grumpy? Hot weather? It really helps to try to pinpoint what might be causing them to fight, if you can.

    Basic things like making sure they have enough individual space for eating, sleeping and one litter box per cat can help. If there's a chance one of them isn't feeling well, consider asking your vet. Cats are great at hiding symptoms, and sometimes they're so subtle that they're easy to miss.

    They also could just be fighting out of boredom, so try adding some interesting new cat toys, scratching posts or spend some time playing with them each day to try to distract them from fighting.

  • We have an older male cat and recently adopted a 6 year-old male cat. At first, everyone was getting along great. They were sleeping together, grooming each other, etc. Within a week, my older cat has started jumping on the younger cat and a slapping/hissing fight ensues. Both of the cats are fixed. Can you tell me what happened? Will it ever go back to the way it was and is there anything I can do to make that happen?

    From what you describe, it sounds like your older cat wants to make it clear to the younger one that he's the alpha cat in your household. Sometimes the new and existing cat will fight like this from the start, and other times it doesn't happen right away.

    Your older cat might have started to feel jealous or intimidated by the new one. He could be worrying that the new guy is going to be competition for your attention, food, his litter box or all the space around the house that he's had all to himself before.

    This kind of fighting might go on for a while. It could be a few days, a few weeks or even on and off for several months as they sort out their relationship.

    Every pair of neutered male cats I've had have fought like this for a while. It does taper off once they decide who's boss.

    As long as your cats aren't crying in pain or getting injured, I wouldn't be too concerned because it sounds like the type of fighting that's typical when a new cat comes into the home. You don't have to break up the fights unless they look or sound serious.

    The only things you can do to help the situation is to make sure each cat has their own litter box, gets plenty of individual attention and has their own space to rest. If you can encourage them to play, that also might help diffuse the fighting.

    This is likely just a brief phase they're going through, and once they get past it, they should go back to how they were in the beginning.

© 2012 carolynkaye

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    • profile image

      Jazelle 

      2 days ago

      We just got a new female kitten and we have had our other cat for 8 years now and she is trying to attack the kitten the kitten is about to get spade and get her first set of shots what should we do to help

    • JudyTK profile image

      JudyTK 

      5 days ago

      I rescued a kitten, spayed female now and she is 4 1/2 yrs old. We had a very old dog when she came to us and she was fine with her. We got a puppy 2 yrs ago, which makes cat about 2. She stayed upstairs away from puppy for a year. We went on vacation for a week, left her home with big bowls of food and water. When we got home, she finally came downstairs and became part of the family again.

      3 wks ago I rescued an 8 yr old spayed female Ragamuffin, who is the sweetest cat I have ever met. My resident cat has been amazingly aggressive.

      I have tried keeping their lives completely separate but my resident cat is pretty clever at opening doors. They each have their own bowls, litter boxes and rooms. Resident cat if she gets out will get under the bed, opposite end, where the new cat stays and will just lay there and they both hiss, growl and hair flies. I break it up as fast as I can and resident cat leaves. New cat would come out in the house in the beginning but after these attacks she no longer will come out from under the bed unless the door is closed and I am feeding her. She has been pooping in her litter box, which is the foulest smelling cat box I've ever experienced. Last night she pooped in her crate instead.I have been cleaning her litter box 2x/day. Resident cat is starting to pee and poop in the living room when she is out of her room. I was switching cats being in the house vs.their room but new cat won't come out. This morning I put resident cat in her room and decided she would stay there with door closed for however long it takes new cat to feel safe. She is out of her room but hiding next to couch right now. We bought the cat litter that the previous owner used and I bought pheromones to use in each of their rooms. I've tried the feeding on each side of the door, etc. but nothing seems to be working.

      I don't want to return the Ragamuffin but need help getting these two to at least ignore each other. Thank you so much for any help you can offer.

    • profile image

      Hannah 

      7 days ago

      Hi, I have recently moved to my sisters who has a 18 month old and i have a 13 year old cat. They have seperate rooms. Seperate water, food, litter trays. However when my sisters cat (18 month old) goes by my 13 year old cat. My 13 year old cat always goes for my sisters. You can see my sistets cat wants to play although its her house and her teritory. We havs tried feliway and spray bottle. Nothing seems to be working. Can anybody help me out please??

    • profile image

      Joe Duffley 

      10 days ago

      Charlotte one suggestion for u might be don't let your older cat outside. It's bringing in unfamiliar scents and might be one reason why the kittens immediately started to act. I have seen this happen to someone before. Sorry just a thought since u said nothing else has changed.

    • profile image

      Deb Baert 

      2 weeks ago

      Hello.. so I have two cats, one is 12 and one is 6 and they have from the beginning been the best of friends. My hubby and I moved out to our lake lot for the summer, we live in a quite spacious fifth wheel, and the cats have always come on the weekends. However, it started one day when the resident golf course cat made his way to our deck on night and my oldest spotted him and ran out on the deck to attack.. well my husband immediatly intervened and took Milo my oldest back inside. Well Bailey the younger one, was at the door and the moment Milo was brought back in, he literally attacked Bailey and the fight was on. We got them separated thankfully and I kept them separate for a day and a half as that was all it took. Then a few weeks later, Milo caught sight of the big bad Bruce out the window one morning, and again he right away turned on Bailey. So again, before work I separated them and by time I got home they became best buds again. Then one day, Bailey was in the living room area, and he was alone with blinds closed and he was growling to himself, I went outside and low and behold, Bruce, the cat was there under my trailer so I shooed him away. Now jump to this last weekend. My cats were on my deck, both of them on their leashes as always, and they were smelling away on the deck, so something caught their attention. well Bailey came to check it out and Milo turned and hissed, so again we right away separated them. I did my normal reintroduction and it only took a few hours, then they were friends. But that night Milo was in bed with my hubby and he got sick.. like a lot, so we cleaned it up and the two cats came out to the living room with me. Well Bailey was sitting behind me and I reached up to pet him and I realized his head was wet, he had gotten in the cross hairs of the puke.. I know gross. So I tried to wipe it out, and he got mad with me and walked away. Well as soon as he seen Milo it was on again. So again, they got separated. The next day after doing the feedings and playing on opposite sides of door, I opened the door so they could sniff and they did.. Bailey followed Milo out and was sniffing him and then as soon as Milo turned around it was Bailey who growled and hissed, and then separated them again. Since then I have not been able to get them together.. this is the longest it has been it is day 5. It is breaking my heart because I feel bad for the one that is in the bedroom. The one that is in the living area is calmed and relaxed and so is the one in the bedroom once they get comfortable. I am always swapping them out too.. but I am really concerned they won't go back to normal. And we move back into our condo beginning of October. I am hoping by then we can have this fixed. because I hate they are separated and cannot be together right now. I am trying to do all the things, but I have not tried doing the carrier thing, do you think I should try putting them in their carriers, to see eachother a little bit at a time. Any suggestions. This is really stressing everyone out.

    • profile image

      Charlotte 

      2 weeks ago

      Hi. Trouble in my house. I have three rescued cats. The first, a neutered male, is about 13, yrs and grumpy.The second is a spayed female, about 8 yrs, loves the male and the two of them are very bonded.

      Eight months ago I rescued an 8 week kitten freezing to death in my garden and she lost part of an ear. Could not locate the owners. The male and the kitten have bonded. The kitten has become a bully and is terrorizing the female. For example, this morning the older female came in from outside. The kitten came in looking for her, ready for a fight. The fur has been flying for the last two weeks, yet nothing seems to be different in the home.

      Suggestions?v I don’t want to re home the kitten as I adore her, but the middle cat is suffering.

    • profile image

      Rebecca 

      3 weeks ago

      I have a 7 year old female cat. She is fixed. I brought in a 4 year old male who is also fixed. The male was used to being with other animals but my 7 year old was the only animal in the house. It has been 4 months and she is still going after him. I have tried feliway and that somewhat works but she will not always eat the treats. I am currently trying the Bully Solution but so far its not working. Its been 1 week. They were doing ok in the day time but not she is after him all the time. I have to keep them separate. I was not wanting to rehome the male but it sounds like I might need to. Any ideas??

    • profile image

      Joe Duffley 

      4 weeks ago

      In need of some advice here very desperate I tried everything. For about 4 months now I have had my cats separated cuz they can't stop fighting. I been trying this reintroducing process and doesn't seem to work. I tried it for 2months and gave up 2 months ago. I tried transferring scents with no visionals and a week later doesn't help. When I try to play with both in the same room then they just stalk and stare constantly and try to get to the other cat. They will even sneak behind the one cat and just tackle him. They both act like this. When I throw a toy they chase it and when they accidentally come at an ambush then they start growling and attacking. I have seen furr fly up in the air and I have had one cat's inside of their ears bloody for weeks from a claw stuck inside his ear. Which is the reason I separated them months ago. They got neutered on May 10 and I have a very calm house now compared to months ago I now live alone. So this should help. It's just the 2 kitties and I and it's very quiet here yet they can't seem to get near each without attacking each other. My 2 boys just turned a year old. They use to get along all last year and are from the same litter. My brother accidentally left a window open and they both got outside and we're confused and starting attacking each other. This was back in March and hasn't been the same since. Thankfully I live alone now that should calm things down. They are very active and very aggressive so makes sense why they aren't getting along. All I can think of is introducing one scent at a time giving at least a month in between each scent. Hearing, smell, visuals (supervising them in the same room of course), and then touch. I believe is the correct order but I can even get past the visuals without them wanting to approach the other cat and attack for the no reason. In need of desperate help. It's tearing my family apart cuz I can only love one cat at a time while the other meows cuz I'm not in the same room. So that's all they do is meow all day and all night long. What else can I do???

    • carolynkaye profile imageAUTHOR

      carolynkaye 

      4 weeks ago from USA

      Hello Yvonne, If you have been keeping them apart, I would probably see how it goes day-by-day rather than long-term. If you’re going to be around to watch them, try seeing how they are together. Let them out and casually observe how it goes. It’s possible things will go back to normal. It’s hard for me to guess why she’s suddenly like this. It could be any of the things listed in the article like one of them not feeling well and being irritable, some sort of change, or possibly boredom. If it continues, and you can’t figure out what’s causing it, it might not hurt to ask the vet for advice.

    • profile image

      Yvonne Hutchings 

      4 weeks ago

      I have a female cat age 5 an a male cat age 7 the younger 1 turned on the older 1 had them separate rooms for 4 days now there back together but they don't have trust with each other an a it of anixety with each other I'm letting them have there own space am I doing the right thing never had to deal with it before always got in I think something has spooked my younger cat

    • profile image

      Icosamodron 

      4 weeks ago

      I have a big 10yo male cat, and my roommate has two smaller girls, 12 and 4 yo. Since my roommate moved in eight months ago, we haven't been able to let the cats be in the same room together. He will charge them, especially the 12yo who is tiny, and tackle/dominate them. He's twice the 12yo's size, and we're legitimately worried about her safety. For about six months we've been alternating daily who has access to the house and who is confined to their room, and still my male spends a lot of time watching my roommate's door waiting for an opportunity to sneak in or charging the plexiglass when he sees one of the girls move. I'm at a loss for what to try next, just because we're worried about him hurting them if given a chance.

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      Yvonne Hutchings 

      4 weeks ago

      My female cat who is 5 has started attacking my male cat age 7 got them in separate rooms I'm so stressed with it what do I do to calm my female cat down this has been an issue for 3 days now an separate for how long

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      Ryhana 

      5 weeks ago

      When we got our cats I introduced them and the male attacked the female. Ever since then, she’s been traumatized by our male cat even when he does nothing wrong, and refuses to even get to know him. She just stares and never get distracted by anything. I don’t know what to do and they’ve never had a smooth meeting n greeting.

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      Sofia V. 

      5 weeks ago

      I have one 10yo female cat and brought a few weekss old female kitten two years ago. At first the older cat didn't mind her, just smelled her every now and then, they would even tolerate sleeping in the same bed (with me watching) but after two or three months the older cat attacked the kitten, resulting in stitches; it happened like three times more and since then I've had to keep them separated at ALL times, or else the older cat will jump at the other and attack with no previous warning, she never growls or hisses at her. They usually stare at eachother like nothing until the first cat jumps to attack. It's been two years and they still try to fight with their paws under the door. I'm afraid the youngest cat will result seriously harmed if I ever let them in the same room, especially because the younger cat is way smaller in size and does not know how to fight. What can I do? I just want them to tolerate being in the same room without fighting.

      Keep in mind the first cat was always outside in the woods fighting and hunting, she was almost wild and only came back home at night to sleep, and even though, there's always been more cats in the house (until 3 years ago) and she always got along with them. I never had her attack any other cats in the house until now.

    • carolynkaye profile imageAUTHOR

      carolynkaye 

      5 weeks ago from USA

      Hannah, Cats are very sensitive to scents. It is possible the cat that went outdoors smells like a stranger to your other cat. If you are able to give them both a bath with a gentle, cat-safe soap, they will smell the same and the hissing should eventually stop. If bathing isn't an option, you can also try rubbing some cat treats in your hands and petting both of their coats. Then, they will both smell the same to each other. It is also possible the hissing is due to the stress of a change in their routine. Either way, I don't think the hissing is something that should last too long. They probably just need to re-adjust after the cat coming back.

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      Hannah Whitman 

      5 weeks ago

      I have two female cats (sisters) since they were babies about a year and a half ago and recently one ran out the door and was missing for 3 days, she came back and now they are fighting and hissing at eachother, is there anything i can do to have them get along?

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      Abby 

      2 months ago

      I have 2 cats that around the age of four they’re both boys and happen to be brothers by birth. Recently we took one of out cats (zazu ) to a grooming place to get his natted fur shaved. At the place there was a black male cat as well (just in case that’s important). But when we brought back out cat his brother (simba) started to hiss and growling. I have use the towel method and it worked a little. It’s bin 2 days and simba is still hissing at zazu but only around my oldest daughter and at night sometimes around lunch. my kids are terrified and I really need your help!

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      krwagner9 

      2 months ago

      I added a 2 month old neutered male kitten, Dewey, to my home. I already had a 10 month old spayed female, Kiki, who I got at 3 months. She folded into a house with 5 dogs. Dewey still isn't crazy about the dogs, but is getting braver and comes where the dogs are in my kitchen and family room. The cats have the run of the house 2300 sq ft) with escape routes from the dogs if need be. Dewey just stays out of the family room when he's not feeling brave. They are fed in separate rooms and each have their own litter box. They cats were very interested in each other through the door. After their week apart, I introduced them and all introductions went well. Kiki was very good with him and I have seen her grooming him. He follows her everywhere and until last night, they played all the time together. It's been about 10 days since their introduction. Because she wasn't afraid of the dogs, she often was in the family room with us while Dewey was in another room. Yesterday, they were both lying together in a dog bed grooming each other. Last night, all of a sudden, when we were in my room, Kiki started hissing and growling (? a low hum) at him. They have had the ability to come in and out of my room at night and both have been in my bed since being introduced. She even blocked the room so he couldn't come in. Again, this morning, we were all down in the kitchen and Kiki was on a kitchen chair. Dewey tried approaching and she started to hiss and make that growling (?). In all the months I've had her, this is the first time I've ever seen her hiss. I had pheromone plug-ins upstairs outside of his safe room and in the hall where she hung out. I have now moved one of the pheromone plug-ins downstairs. I'm hoping this helps. I'm so sad that things started out so well and now....well now it looks like I am going to have to put him away when I can't be home to make sure she doesn't hurt him. What do you think is happening? What can I do to try to help things go back to the way they were?

    • carolynkaye profile imageAUTHOR

      carolynkaye 

      3 months ago from USA

      Hello H, It sounds like the new cat is making a game out of his attacks. I would try to find ways to keep them all busy with their favorite toys, a few empty cardboard boxes to jump in, etc. Play will help keep them distracted and hopefully give them a chance to get to know each other. This can take time. The adjustment period after a new cat is added can be challenging, but redirecting the aggression into play can help diffuse the situation until they feel more comfortable around each other. I hope this helps!

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      3 months ago

      Hey. We have to neutered male cats, brothers both 2 and a half years old. They have been the only cats up until another family member brought their 6 year old male neutered cat into the house. My one cat, the dominant one goes to seek out the newcomer but creeps slowly towards with a bottle brush tail and growls, the newcomer appears to be calm and gets closer to my cat. My cat then walks away and that's when we see the newcomers aggression. It's almost as if he's trying to lure my cats closer by appearing to be submissive and then strikes. My cats are now scared to be in their own house, what can we do to stop the newcomer from attacking my cats?

    • Kassie Everett profile image

      Kassie Everett 

      3 months ago

      My boyfriend has two cats both full grown. one is the mom cat and one is her male child. We just recently moved to a new home and the cats seemed perfectly happy. So I decided to get a kitten from a friend. The male likes the kitten, plays with her, gives her baths, gives her the smack down when needed and all that good stuff. But my boyfriends female cat absolutely hates the kitten and avoids her at all costs and growls constantly even at us. She’s also started to be really mean to my boyfriends male cat(her child) and all she does now is sit in the window. I’m not sure what to do to get them all to get along. Any help?

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      Kaleigh Hanuse 

      3 months ago

      Just a quick recap before the current issue. I have a 3 year old long hair male (Smokey), a 2 year old short hair female (Nova) and a 1 year old tabby mix male (Cricket). When I adopted Cricket, the lady told me he was a female. I didn't want another male cat knowing Smokey has already underlying anxiety issues. Months pass and we find out Cricket is a boy, and Nova had not been spayed yet. They proceeded to mate and their babies were born on New Years Eve. I still have 3 of the babies in my home, and Smokey gets along wonderfully with everyone, even Cricket before the babies.

      The aggression didn't start until the babies were about 1.5 months old and I was starting to allow them to wander the house. Smokey loved the kittens and would play and groom them. Then he started cornering Cricket causing stress for everyone in the house.

      Cricket is a passive boy, he just wants to love and be loved. He doesn't go after Smokey, he doesn't initiate, Smokey just quite literally hunts him down throughout the house. When the kittens were about 3 months and most of them off to good homes, I got Nova and Cricket spayed and neutered as Nova was beginning to show signs of heat again and she had already weaned the kittens off.

      Ever since I brought them home from their surgeries, Smokey has been far more aggressive towards Cricket. Cricket has become too afraid to leave certain rooms (My room, my fathers room, and the laundry room) because as soon as he does Smokey corners him. It's gotten to the point where Cricket will go potty on the bed in my dads room (his room is the only one without a litter box because he has lung cancer and the litter dust can hurt his lungs) instead of going out into the rest of the house where the litter boxes are.

      I'm at a loss of what to do, I haven't tried Feliway yet but I will be trying it this weekend. The aggression has gotten way out of hand now, and I've tried many of the suggested solutions and while I do not want to have to give up Smokey, my dad and I are considering it for the safety of the rest of the household.

      Any suggestions are greatly appreciated.

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      Hollis Whiting 

      3 months ago

      We adopted 2 male kittens at the age of 10 weeks. They are neutered brothers and somewhat feral.

      They are 10 months old now and are very affectionate with each other until today.

      They are indoor cats, but we have keys them outside in our yard a few times, always supervised. At first they were frightened but then enjoyed playing jungle kitten in the garden.

      Today they were outside for an hour or so, supervised, they came in the house and disappeared under the bed ( they often do this) and then they started hissing and growling at each other in a scary way, they have never done this before.

      Now my once loving very bonded cats seem to hate each, they howl, hiss and growl in a very aggressive way.

      It has been several hours now.

      We don’t know or understand what happened. Can you think of what cased this behavior and how we can help them feel comfortable with each other again?

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      Afro 

      3 months ago

      So I have two cats, one 2 year old male and one 1,5 year old female cat. About three months ago I got a 6 month old stray male kitten but I couldn’t properly introduce him to the other two for various reasons, so they started living together pretty quickly. My male cat has been getting along great with the new kitten but the female one won’t stop hissing and growling at him every time he even tries to get close to her. She hides in a room all day long and seems pretty upset. The new one will also try to chase her to play with her because he is very very active, while she is a much calmer cat. I don’t know what to do to get them to like each other. Help?

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      tmsalling 

      3 months ago

      So our family rescued a little boy a little over a month ago. He was a stray and I have no idea how long he was out in the elements. He was really skinny and timid at first. We immediately had him checked out and neutered as he immediately tried to mount our older cat (10 yrs, male) and dominate him. Our 10 yr old is primarily an indoor cat but does like to spend some time on the porch and backyard. The 1 yr old male has been fighting with him and now the older cat doesn't want to come in the house. We literally have to pick him up and put him back in. The 1 yr old will swat for no reason and bully the older cat. I'm not sure what to do. The 1yr old is rather sweet and lovable but just doesn't like or get along with the older cat. Please help as I don't want to rehome him but will if necessary.

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      Katlin 

      4 months ago

      About couple of months ago my husband and I adopt a 6 week old kitty who now is (6 months old) (he is neutered) but about 3 or 4 weeks ago we adopt a girl kitty who is 5 months old and is spayed. At first my boy cat would growl and hiss and would be really aggressive towards her. So we put her in our closet where little by little we would introduce them however after 2 weeks of having her she wanted to get out of the closet , she would cry and bang on the closet door. So my husband and I decided to leave her out. It’s been about a month and my boy cat jumps on her and she screams and growls and hiss in the middle of the night. It has gotten so bad that we have given him calming treats , we bought a pheromone diffuser but it hasn’t work. It’s hard bc we try to put her in the closet and she cry but when we leave her she cry still. It has gotten so bad where we started to look for a new home for her but we really don’t want to give her up. Any advice? Please I need help

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      Stella 

      4 months ago

      Hi!

      I've had my cat for 3 years now she's always been a very spoilt princess. Almost 3 months ago we got a kitten and our cat is fighting get with our kitten. Our older cat used to sleep on me every night and since having the kitten hasn't slept in a room once, instead our kitten sleeps on us.

      Our cat growls every time we try to pick her up or play with her. The kitten is amazing and is trying so hard with our older cat. We are thinking maybe we should re home our kitten but she's such a good kitten and I would hate for her to go to a new home... AGAIN.

      Help?

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      Boles23 

      4 months ago

      Hello, I am getting really worried about my cats. i have a 4 year old cat who we've had since she was 1. we recently got a 2 year old cat. our original cat is super sweet to people but very aggressive towards the new cat. the new cat hasn't hissed, or growled once. we've been keeping them separate but always feeding them by the same door, and each day we room swap them to get used to each others smells. its been about 2 weeks and my original cat can't stand the new cat, if they're in the same room the 4 year old growls and start to go at the new cat. today my 4 year old cat got out of her side of the house and went and attacked the new cat and they had a quick but aggressive fight . I don't know what to do! do i start over from step one and hope for the best or give up on this pairing? thank you.

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      BruceXLX 

      4 months ago

      Hello, I am new here. Question please ?

      Have a female kitty just pushing 1 year old. Only cat in the house. She does have a 'friend' a fixed feral who will come in and they bond and play. But the friend goes back out side. She does stay in a shelter on the patio and I feed her and the others daily. Now. Our kitty is not the luvy duvy lap kitty mu girl friend would like to have. She, the kitty, is family and is luvy in her own way. So, the girl friend wanted to get another kitty to have a luvy duvy lap kitty for her and hopefully a friend for our kitty.

      So, we adopted anther kitty. A mostly female Siamese kitty estimated 2 years old. And she is the luvy dovy kitty the GF was looking for. Now here is where the shit hits the fan.

      Our established kitty is for the most part welcoming but the new Siamese is now trying to take over and be the dominate Queen in the house and is provoking our kitty. I have them separated now after a week of breaking in. It is not bad but I have told her it will take some time. I want to avoid disciplinary actions like putting the new kitty in the carrier when she act aggressively, but I am reaching out for all advice and feed back to help get them friendly. Thank you now in advance for any replies.

      Most sincerely;

      Bruce.

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      Melene 

      4 months ago

      Hallo. I moved to a new house about a month ago and here is another cat. Both of them are males. When I arrived here the other cat was not neutured but he is now for about three weeks.

      He is still chasing my cat away and now my cat is hiding and never comes home anymore unless I call him.

      Both cats cats are still young about 1 and 3 years old.

      Do you have advice?

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      Yulia E 

      5 months ago

      Hello! Our kitties aren't getting along so ANY advice would be highly appreciated! We have 1 cat, 7 years old who was adopted as a kitten together with her female cat sister; but sister passed away after one year, and our cat was the only pet in our household for 6 following years. This July we adopted 6 year old female who is very nice and not aggressive at all. Both cats are spayed. We introduced them slowly and properly. The new cat seems to be doing just fine, but our senior cat is very hateful and aggressive towards the new one and often tries to attack her. Senior cat hisses at everyone, even us, which never ever happened before. It has been 10 months. Is there any chance that our senior cat will get used to the new one? Or after such a long time there is no hope?

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      Llyyssssaa 

      5 months ago

      Hello,

      I have three cats all males. Recently we took in the third. Ever since then the original two have no been able to get along. They use to be so close and now they can’t even be in the same room without fighting. So the two original cats do not get along with each other. The new cat gets along with the originals just fine. I’m just confused what happens with the first two. I’ve tried the separate rooms thing out and it still seams like nothing is working. Recently the youngest of the two has been really aggressive to the other to the point that when they are fighting he rips out fur and makes the other bleed. I don’t want to have to find a new home for either especially because like i said they use to be the best of friends. I did notice that in the article is saying to get the cats neutered would help out the youngest is not neutered do you guys think that would possibly help or any other suggestions. At this point i am worried for my other cat and i just want it to go back to normal.

    • carolynkaye profile imageAUTHOR

      carolynkaye 

      5 months ago from USA

      Hello Lisa, It could be her hormones and stress from the surgery. It can take time after being neutered before a cat is more calm. I suggest asking your vet about whether her reaction is normal and what he or she thinks about it.

    • profile image

      Lisa 

      5 months ago

      I have a 3 yr old cat and she's been neutered Thursday but she's still hissing and growling at my kids she attacked me and my kids hence being neutered. She lives with a female cat who's neutered also they tolerate eachother how can I make this a happy atmosphere

    • profile image

      Kathy 

      5 months ago

      I've got 2 female 12-13 year old littermate cats that have been together their whole lives. They were good until about a year ago when one would get scared from some stimuli and take it out on the other. I was always able to do a reintroduction between them and calm them. 16 days ago, I came home to a broken shelf that the general aggressor likes to jump on. I think it broke on her and she is now blaming the other cat and is taking it out on her. I've gotten them to the point where if I'm right there they can usually stand to be in the same room together but if I try to go to sleep they will fight within an hour or at the very least get hostile. I've tried separating them but they will each just beg for hours to enter the room with the other cat despite not getting along with her. I only have 2 rooms in my home with doors, my bedroom and the bathroom which has the general house litter box in it. I have a complete set up in my bedroom for the one I put in there with me at any given time. I've got 3 felaway diffusers going at all times, they are wearing felaway collars, and I was giving them hemp oil in their food to alleviate some of the anxiety, but nothing is helping long term this time. I'm at a loss and don't know what to do going forward. I haven't slept more than 2 hrs at a time since this began because of them and it's killing me.

    • carolynkaye profile imageAUTHOR

      carolynkaye 

      5 months ago from USA

      Hello Elmer, Is the newest female spayed? If not, that might be causing her behavior. If that's not the issue, it might be one of several different things. The cats might be bored and fighting as something to do. The older female might not be feeling well, and the younger two are trying to take over as the alpha cats. Or it could just be the cats' relationships have changed by adding the new cat. Try to have food/water areas and litter boxes for each cat. You also might want to ask your vet about the situation. If the fights are bad and you're worried about the cats getting hurt or the oldest female having to hide all the time, the trouble making cats might need medication to help calm them down. Sometimes these things resolve on their own or can be resolved with some intervention. Occasionally, if the fighting is severe or just won't stop, a cat might need to be re-homed for the sake of the others. I hope it works out with your cats.

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      Elmer 

      6 months ago

      I have a male and a female cats. I found another female that had been badly abused. She was very timid and stayed in the dinning room for months. The female cat that is already in the house doesn't like her. They hiss and growl at the new cat. The new cat has gotten used to the house and has become used to being a cat again. But the two female cats still do not get along. The new cat now goes all over the house and when she runs into the old cat they hiss growl and pass each other. The new cat has been going over to the old cat and stealing her food. I have to watch them when i feed them. This has been this way for almost two years. But this past week things have taken a real bad turn. The two female cats have been getting into real bad fights. This hasn't happened since i got the new cat in the house. Now the one male cat has teamed up with the new cat and they both are attacking the older female. The male cat was buddies with the older cat for ten years. But now male cat and the new cat is going after the older cat. Now the older cat will not leave the third floor. Now i have to feed her upstairs with her own litter pan. She will not come down for anything. What can i do to fix this situation. The fights are extremely bad. Need help please

    • profile image

      Abby 

      6 months ago

      We have a male cat who has been the only indoor cat for a couple of years, last year we brought in a female stray cat and a year later they still hiss and growl at each other. They cannot be in the same room without causing trouble. Is there anything we can do so they will tolerate each other?

    • profile image

      Fawn 

      6 months ago

      I have a 9 month male , and 2 older female all of them fixed we just rescued 2 older male & female my 9 month does not want to get along with them please help ?

    • profile image

      Alisha Wilson1988 

      7 months ago

      I moved into my boyfriends house about 7 months ago. He has a big dog a small cat. My cat had never gotten along with any of them. He is always hissing at the dog and then he will stalk the smaller cat. When he stalks the other cat, she will hiss and stay under the table. He is also peeing on my boyfriends work clothes and or furniture. I am at a lost of what to do. I don’t want to have to take him to a shelter but I can’t have him keep peeing everywhere. How do I fix this problem

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      Jennifer 

      7 months ago

      Hello! I have three cats. One 6 yr old and two, 3 yr olds, all male. The six-year-old, I found when he was only three weeks old and had to bottlefeed him. I think because he was so young he missed out on some socialization. I did decide to get a second cat for about another 3 1/2 years. I did a gradual introduction with cat #2, and things were a little rough for the first couple of weeks, but they eventually got along pretty well. My second cat was only four months old when we got him, so he was still very kitten like an energetic. Because my older cat was never properly socialized, he didn’t really like playing with cat #2. My third cat came to me as a foster, a year later, and I initially didn’t have plans on keeping him, but he ended up getting along pretty well with my second cat as they were closer in age, energy levels, etc. So, he stayed, as I thought it might be good to distract cat #2 from bothering cat #1. This worked initially and they continue to play pretty well together, but my third cat tends to bully my first, older cat. They can all be in the same room together, and sometimes everything is fine. But if my third cat approaches my older cat, the older cat hisses and swats at him. In his defense, it’s because the third cat will try to play with him and ends up chasing and wrestling him, and he doesn’t like it. He hisses, cries, etc. It’s been about 2.5 yrs that all three cats have been together so it’s been a while. They have a routine/feeding schedule, several cats trees, beds, etc, and 3 liter boxes. But the fighting between cat #3 and my first cat still continues. It’s not all the time but often enough that I worry my older cat is more stressed than I might realize. Any suggestions on how to create more harmony between these cats??

    • profile image

      Toriii 

      7 months ago

      I have 2 cats. One is about to be 8 and the other is only 1. Theyve been together now since october 2018. The 1 year old wont stop trying to play and be rough and the older one is being very angsty i suppose. She refuses to come out from underneath the ottoman to eat and she is actually starving herself because of refusing to deal with this kitten. Any special help??? Please???

    • profile image

      Andrea 

      7 months ago

      Hi there. I have 3 cats, 2 males 1 female who get along great and haven’t had any issues for years. We recently moved in with my parents and their male cat. The males all get along just fine without any issues playing and having fun. Now the female wants nothing to do with my parents cat. Anytime he is close she will growl or hiss. Now when this happens it seems like he doesn’t understand that she wants him to leave, It almost causes him to draw in closer. He so badly wants to play but she absolutely hates it. There hasn’t been any physical fights, but my female cat has started peeing on our bed. It was every couple of weeks now it’s almost 2 times a week. They have separate feeding places, multiple litter boxes and plenty of space to hide or be up high. I’m wondering what our next steps should be? In the past my parents have been keeping their cat in a large room at night, but have been letting him roam since we got there. Would putting him back their at night help?

    • carolynkaye profile imageAUTHOR

      carolynkaye 

      7 months ago from USA

      Hello, Have Bentley and Phoebe ever spent any time together where they did not have the option to run and hide in another room? If one is able to keep hiding any time they see each other, this is probably going to continue. If you have a room with a door where they can be put in together for a short time each day (under supervision), they will be forced to interact. Even if they just hide on opposite ends of the room and stare at each other, they will still be getting used to the other. If you have some empty cardboard boxes or cat toys for them to use, this can also help. I would try this for a short time each day, gradually a little longer until there is more positive interaction, or at least not as much hissing. Feliway might help too. If this doesn't work after a couple weeks or so, it is possible their personalities aren't compatible. It's hard to say if they will slowly adjust to each other over time, or not, but I hope it works out!

    • profile image

      Reem B 

      7 months ago

      Hello

      I found a lost kitten who is 4 months old she was very weak when when i first rescued her because she was kinda bullied by street cats i bought her home where i have my 7months old male kitten not neutered yet neither did he start spraying they both didnt get along because the rescued female kitten was reacting very aggressive where the male cat was ready to get along ...when i took her to vet since she seemed weak they kept her with them for few days and treated her for earmites she seems all better then before playing grooming herself and she also has started heating she never shouts or anything shes phurring and playing with us but the moment she sees my male kitten she gets out off control and at that point even if i try to go near her she gets aggressive...the vet also said that she is too young so dont try to do the mating thing which i dont even want i just want her to be friendly with my cat

    • profile image

      Yara.B. 

      7 months ago

      Our cats are ruining our relationship!

      I had purchased a kitten(male who’s now been spayed) off of craigslist before my boyfriend and I started dating. We were friebds throughout this time and he would give me advice as he has two cats of his own. One male and one female (both fixed)

      We’ve started dating and now have moved in together and have tried to merge our two cat families. We did everything as were supposed to and one of his cats loves my cat. His female doesn’t like my cat one bit. I feel that my cat, being several years younger, is still very playful, and she’s more of a grouch. She’s a wonderful cat when she’s alone, almost a completely different cat! Around his cat she’s grouchy still but she accepts him. Around my cat she won’t move..to the point that she’s pissed in our bed several times.

      We’ve already tried re-Introducing them slowly, giving them more time, And it hasn’t changed anything.

      I feel bad constantly getting after my cat because he chases the girl cat. I think he finds her interesting because she’s always trying to hide from him. He’s very inquisitive and likes to investigate things, but she’s very elusive to him.

      I don’t know what to do because our relationship has progressed into a more serious one, but our cats fighting is an issue that constantly comes up.

      I don’t like getting after my cat for being inquisitive, but i can’t get mad at her for preferring to be alone, either.

      I just don’t know what to do..

    • profile image

      Cassandra Ferreira 

      7 months ago

      We have 5 cats. An older male and female, two other adult male cats who moved in around 3 years ago, the ones name is Mask, and a third male (Bozi) who is about 2 years old and the newest addition to the bunch. We introduced all the cats properly, all the males are neutered and they all got along in the beginning. However, recently Mask has been attacking Bozi out of nowhere and we have absolutely no idea why. He’s generally a calm and friendly cat and Bozi is extremely lovable. The fights would break out just by Bozi sitting on the lawn and Mask would stalk him, his tail puff up, and chase him with fighting and hissing and crying and they’d both run over the wall and Bozi wouldn’t come home for a while. How could we stop this from happening? We have absolutely no idea why this happens.

    • carolynkaye profile imageAUTHOR

      carolynkaye 

      7 months ago from USA

      Hello Anida, It's possible the male cat is attacking the female because he's irritable from being sick. It's also possible he's picking up a scent from other people handling her and is acting this way because she smells different. You might want to bathe both of them with a gentle cat shampoo so they smell the same. This might make a difference, but if she goes over to your neighbor's and they pet her, the fighting might start up again.

    • carolynkaye profile imageAUTHOR

      carolynkaye 

      7 months ago from USA

      Hello Valery - Is the male cat neutered? If not, that might be the issue. If he already has been, see if any of the changes listed in the article apply to your situation. If they don't, it is possible that she is feeling threatened by him now that he's a full-grown adult cat, and not the little kitten she was used to. If this is what's going on, it will take some time for her to adjust and for them to re-establish their rank in your household.

    • profile image

      Asht0nnn 

      7 months ago

      Hello. I moved into a new apartment with a co-worker a few months back (June) and we both have cats. My cat, Bentley is a male cat about 4 years old and her cat, Phoebe is a female cat going on 3 years old. They are both inside cats, fixed and besides Phoebe being more timid and a definition "scardy cat" who comes around/interacts on her own terms, they both have friendly personalities. Bentley especially is the sweetest, most laid back cat who loves attention and being out and about with people and exploring. When we moved in, he was obviously afraid and spent alot of time under my bed but I chalked that up to being a new home transition. He started coming out in my room (he had his own food and litter in there) and besides not leaving the room, seemed normal and happy. Any time Bentley even just sticks his head out, Phoebe will start to come at him and he runs back under the bed. When the door is open, he lays inside in front of the doorway and she lays directly across from him in the living room lurking at him. I pick him up to bring him out and he freaks out and runs back in as if a terrible scary fate is awaiting him and he is always on high alert when trying to come out if she's not around. If he sees her, he starts with his low growl and hissing and if she hasn't come at him before then she definitely does after that and he fleas back under the bed. There was never a big altercation that took place to make them feel this way and other than not knowing each other, there really shouldn't be any issues as both cats are able to get along with other cats just fine (male and female, at any age.) I honestly have no idea what to do at this point besides keeping them separated but Bentley deserves more than just one room that he never leaves. I am going to buy Feliway and see if that helps, along with trying the towel switch. When Phoebe went to my roommate's dad's house for about a week and a half, he flourished and came out all the time, loving on everyone who was out in the living room and truly felt at ease. He is never usually shy and I've never seen him scared of much of anything until now. I want him to be able to live his normal life with her there. Co-existing without hissing, hiding, growling and fighting (if it even gets that far.) Is there ANY help you can give me? I will try everything at this point. I don't want to send him to my parents as he is my legit world but I also don't want him to be secluded in a room by himself all day until late at night (I work two jobs most days). I just want both of them to feel comfortable but there was no real issue that happened to create this situation, so I don't know how to go about fixing it at this point. PLEASE HELP :(

    • profile image

      Valery 

      7 months ago

      My cat has kittens and we kept the last kitten male now he is 1 year old and my cat is uknown age rescue we spayed her and was attached to him but now she cant stand him she hisses and hits him idk what to do please help me......

    • profile image

      Katrina 

      8 months ago

      We have 2 female cats about 4 years old and we just got a kitten how long do I need to keep them separated or can I let her out to see if they get along.

    • profile image

      Anida Hood 

      8 months ago

      We have a one year old male cat and a two year old female cat. They were getting along great, until about a month ago. We haven't made any significant changes in either of their routines, and neither of them were sick when they stopped getting along. They keep getting into fights. The male cat keeps attacking the female cat by hissing at her, chasing her while she's meowing really loud, and growling at her whenever he sees her. The male cat has only recently been sick. We think that maybe since they're outdoor and indoor cats, that one of our neighbors has been petting our female cat and leaving his/her scent on our cat making the male cat not like her anymore.

    • profile image

      Holly Bowser 

      8 months ago

      We have three cats that we got each as kittens; 11 yr old female, 10 yr old female and 5 yr old male, all neutered. They have all been either tolerant or friendly with one another until the other day. The younger female was in the older female's spot and as the younger (and submissive) one was getting out of the "queen's" way, the older one kinda freaked out, chased the other one around the house hissing, growling and got into a physical fight that we had to separate. Previously, this situation would not have escalated so badly. The male cat is pretty easygoing but this scared him so badly that he is terrified of the queen and starts growling whenever he sees her, even from across the house. We have separated the queen from the other two in her room with food, water and litter box. We tried reintroducing them and the two females are tolerant of each other but the male sees the instigator and growls, which sets her off again. This has happened all the times we have tried to let them be together. The two younger cats still get along. I feel like they could get to the place where they had been previously if only our male cat could get over his extreme fear of the oldest cat. Any suggestions?

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      Andrew 

      8 months ago

      Hi,

      We recently adopted two kittens from different litters. The first was four weeks before the second. Firstly we had a male and he settled in well and has shown no aggression when alone except for normal youthful play. When we got the second (female) being 9 weeks and the male now 13 weeks we introduced them slowly with separate safe areas through a door then progressed to face to face. The male will constantly case and play fight with his new sister. The fights never have claws and the biting is soft and there is no hissing just the little squeak every once in a while. There is an element of swapping the chase but it is usually the male “older” doing the chase and tackle. The girl is happy to wander about and play alone if able. He will always be watching her it she’s out her room and will rarely give her more than a few minutes of peace before play fighting again (if it is truly play fighting). When she’s in her room he goes back to his normal self and sits on our lap and pers away but as soon as the door is open again he hops off and goes back to chase and tackle. Have we put them together too soon? Should we go back a few steps and re-introduce them slower?

      Any thoughts would help thanks.

    • carolynkaye profile imageAUTHOR

      carolynkaye 

      9 months ago from USA

      Hello Jackie, It sounds like you're doing everything you can do to help the situation. I would ask your vet if this ongoing aggressive behavior could be hormone related. If so, find out when there should be improvement now that she's spayed. If this continues without any sign of improvement, you might want to consider finding another home for the younger cat for the sake of the 5 year-old cat's well-being and peace of mind.

    • profile image

      Jackie 

      9 months ago

      I wanted advice on getting my 2 female cats to get along. The first if 5 years old, spayed, and very laid back. 2 months ago I rescued a 7 month old. Initially the 7 month old would be curious and constantly follow the 2 year old around. The 2 year old would hiss, but tolerate the new arrival as long as she stayed a few feet away. They used to be able to eat next to each other and sleep on opposite ends of my bed. But then the 7 month old went in to heat and became a bully. Each cat has their own "territory/safe space", and their own feeding stations and litterboxes in those spaces, located in opposite ends of the apt. They have their own toys, beds, and hiding spaces and enough space to never cross paths. But the 7 month old always searches the apt for the 5 year old and fights her (wrestling, biting, scratching, etc). No one has gotten hurt, and their fights break themselves up. But the 7 month old constantly stalks the 5 year old. Now the 5 year old is always hiding and is jumpy, even when the 7 month old is locked in the bedroom. They cannot be in the same room together anymore. They can't eat or sleep near eachother either. The tension has only gotten more intense even after the 7 month old has been spayed (a month ago). I have tried using artificial pheromone diffusers, having them switch rooms and toys. But nothing has worked. What can be done to remedy the situation? I'm open to all ideas.

    • profile image

      April 

      9 months ago

      I have 2 female spayed cats who are both rough 3 1/2 years old. They were adopted together from a shelter almost 2 years ago. They have gotten along from the beginning and were pretty good buddies. They rough played at times and the older of the two was more dominant but their play was never to the point where I had to break it up.

      3 days ago I planned to take in my friend's male neutered cat while she was out of town. I introduced them quickly as they all seemed to be ok with it. I should have known better than to introduce so quickly! My friend's cat wasn't out of the carrier more than a few minutes and my oldest cat pounced and the younger followed suit. My friend's cat got away but my 2 cats kept fighting. I tried to break it up, got bit in the process but managed to get everyone separated into different rooms. I took my friend's cat back to her house as I could tell he was stressed. So total he was only in my home for maybe 2-3 hours.

      I tried to bring my two cats back together shortly after the fight and they went after each other almost immediately. I've had them separated since then. I've been swapping which cat is locked in my master bedroom and who has run of the rest of the house. I swap about every 2-3 hours each day. I lock the older cat in the bedroom at night with me as she whines if she doesn't get to sleep with me. and the younger one gets the run of the rest of the house.

      I've gotten calming collars for both of them, sprayed lavender fabreeze all over the house where they fought and where the other cat had gone as well as done lavender airwick air freshners in both little box areas and the living room. I've done the both in carrier's and facing each other (younger cat hates that carrier so that didn't go over well as she was already upset being in it).

      I've done the open the door a crack and let them sniff at each other. That has seemed to go well and the last day and a half they have seemed to be ok doing that. So I opened the door but blocked the door way with a screen so they could see each other fully but still blocked from attacking one another. Both cats could have cared less it seemed like. I've also done the younger cat free in the living room with the older cat in the carrier.... they both seemed fine, no hissing or meowing. So this morning I put the older cat on a leash and let the younger one roam free and tried to reintroduce them. The younger one got in the stance like she was "stalking" or leery and started hissing. The older cat started that meow cry type noise and they started towards each other. I got nervous and tried to back them away from one another. I tried to pick up the older cat and she got mad like she did the first day when she bit me, so I put her down and shuffled her into the bathroom and put the younger one in the bedroom. Then let the older one out to roam the house alone.

      They are both more than happy to get attention and play with me, no problems picking them up and giving them attention. The older one hates being locked in my bedroom and the younger has started to whine when in the room alone for about 90 minutes or so. I went and got a feliway diffuser for the living room and bedroom today along with calming treats.

      I know I need to be patient but with it just being me in the home it's hard to try to introduce them freely in the room together as I'm scared about having to break up another cat fight. Last time no blood was drawn on any cat and no one got hurt other than me being bitten and scratched!! Not sure if it's my nerves that are contributing to them or if I just need to give them more time or do I just reintroduce them again in a room and break up the fight if it breaks out?? HELP!

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      Patricia Beale 

      10 months ago

      I have a question I have a 10 year old female cat recently someone dropped a cat off in the neighborhood she was friendly and it has been so cold I had her fixed at Barcs and brought her in my cat doesn't like her I have separate litter pans for them how long do you think it will take for them to ajust

    • profile image

      Rae 

      10 months ago

      I have recently moved in with my boyfriend and we both have cats. I have a 11 year old tuxedo female cat (Jax) and he has a 8 year old orange male (Johnny Cash) and an 12 year old grey female cat(Madison). His two cats get along but the orange cat is the alpha cat and will occasionally express this to the grey female. They are both de-clawed so their fighting does not end up in anyone getting hurt and usually last a few seconds. When I moved in with my cat we set up a separate room for her with all her own stuff (her safe zone) and in the past 3 months have tried a few things to get my cat and the orange cat to get along such as a gate between them at play time or eating time, put plexiglass in the bedroom door so they can see each other 24/7, we swap them on a daily basis and even bought Feliway to calm them. They have not been in a room together and we are fearful to try it. My cat (tuxedo) has claws but the orange cat does not. Whenever they are together they are aggressive and growl, hiss and swipe at one another thru the gate. Just in the last month our orange cat is starting to mark his territory in the house and so we have since kept them separated - a new door to her room was put up and when let out of her room she stays upstairs with me and he stays downstairs. They are still fighting through the door and we are just at a lose at this time. Should we try bringing them together again with the gate? and should this only be at feeding time? Any suggestions would be appreciated. We feel like we have tried is all but our two alpha cats just don't want to get along.

      Please Help!!

    • profile image

      Robyn 

      10 months ago

      I have a 3 year old female cat and i have introduced a kitten, which i have had for 3 days now. They are not fighting yet however my older cat seems interested and goes to sniff but as soon as my kutten looks at her she will hiss and run away. I have my kitten in a cat pen in our living room and she is in there at night and when im at work. When i am home i feed my older cat first then the kitten but she is very needy and very loud. My older cat will start growling and want to ho out or upstairs and she is not wanting to spend time with me. I tried to have a kutten when my older cat was about 1 year old and she was alot more agressive with her. I had to giver her up eventually. I dont want to have to give up this kitten. My older cat is now spayed so i thaught this mite help So she is calmer at the moment. But im not sure what i can do to make my older cat understand that i just want the best for her and still care for her.

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      Alix 

      10 months ago

      Hello I have a two year female cat and I just recently rescued a three year old female cat about two weeks ago. We have them in there separate rooms all day. In the beginning they were playing under the door so we let our new cat out but all of a sudden our new cat started hissing at our resident cat. Then one morning they got into a fight, we have them separated and I spend as much time with our new cat and my boyfriend spends time with our resident cat. I don’t want to get rid of our new cat they are both just chill.

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      antonio 

      10 months ago

      Hello.

      I have a 1 year old female cat and just adopted a 3 year old male. The male was eager to search around as soon as he got home and actually seemed very excited to see another cat. The female is not happy about it, but I have only had the female for about 3 months before getting the male. It's been about 3 weeks now and the female is still hissing if the male gets relatively close. I've noticed now that the male will start swatting(without claws) at the female when she starts hissing at him. Is this normal? They have been getting close to eachother and sleep around eachother and then have these moments of displeasure. Its usually never when they are hungry, it's just kind of random.

    • carolynkaye profile imageAUTHOR

      carolynkaye 

      10 months ago from USA

      Hello Alex, The hissing might go on for at least a few days. The new kitten is a stranger to her at this point, so it’s a typical reaction. There will probably be lots of chases and stare downs for a while. It sounds strange, but this is how they form their relationship. It’s also because kittens have lots of energy and the chases and little fights give them something to do. It can take some time before they’re getting along consistently, but since they’re both young, it should be an easier adjustment than if they were older. Thanks for your question.

    • profile image

      Alex 

      10 months ago

      Question. Just want to have my mind put to ease. I have had my female kitten (6months old) for about 2 months. My wife and I decided to get another kitten for her to play with when we are at work. We got a male kitten (3 months old) today. There has been alot of hissing on my female cats part and the male kitten just wants to play with her. They chase each other around the house and even, what looks to me like play swatting at each other. My female kitten even sometimes looks for the male but when they find each other she hisses and then they have a stare down. How long will this go on and will my female kitten stop hissing and will they eventually get along?

    • carolynkaye profile imageAUTHOR

      carolynkaye 

      10 months ago from USA

      Hello Dred, Thank you! It must be fun to have a whole family with two kittens all at once. It's a relief once everyone finally gets along. Thanks so much for your comments.

    • dredcuan profile image

      Dred Cuan 

      10 months ago from California

      Good points here! I am such a lucky cat owner. I brought home one kitten a few months ago. At home, I also have a whole family of cats. What I mean by that is the mom, dad, and their baby live at home. I was so happy how the dad and baby kitten accepted the new family member for only a day or two. Unfortunate, the mom took about weeks before was able to get along with their adopted kitten.

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      Loula 

      10 months ago

      I have a six year old cat and I recently brought home a 3 month old kitten. My older cat is female and my kitten male. They seem to be getting along with each other, they play and run around in a play fighting sort of manner. I've had him for about 3 weeks now and she has been fine, although she does get annoyed and will air paw at him when he gets too excited and tries to play with her tail. yes she hissed in the beginning and is being slightly antisocial and grumpy (to be expected because she's a princess, mommy's spoiled little babe) but she's been sleeping in her normal spot, lets us pet her (as much as she did before hand anyways). Recently we switched his food and she's been eating his when he walks away from his bowl. We feed them in separate rooms, their litter boxes are in separate rooms, we have waters in separate rooms but they don't seem to mind sharing. It's been about 3 weeks as I said but last night she threw up a very large amount of food and then proceeded to pee on both my roommates bed and my boyfriends pants. Now, she has been known to pee when her litter box is dirty, but I had just checked it yesterday and it was clean. Any advice on how to prevent urinating?

      We originally got the new munchkin because when my original roommate left she was home alone for hours and would often throw up from stress and being alone all day. any advice on how to keep her stress levels under control?

    • profile image

      Michelle 

      10 months ago

      Hi, I hope that someone will be able to help me. We have a 7yr old female spayed resident cat and about three weeks ago we took in a pregnant stray. The two didn’t get along but they were able to walk past each other, eat separately with the door open and sleep in the same room on their own beds next to ours. Last week I took the stray to the vet on Tuesday for a general health check. On Wednesday I took her to another vet to be spayed. Thursday I took her to the vet again as she had licked open her wound and again on Friday for the same reason. Ultimately she got nylon stitches and a cone to wear for a couple of days.

      It seems that after this ordeal she is EXTREMELY aggresive towards our resident cat. If resident cat comes into the house, the stray wil jump up from where she was sleeping and run/charge towards resident cat to chase her away.

      I don’t know what to do because now my resident cat does not want to come home in the evenings anymore (shes indoor/outdoor) and the two cats can’t even be in the same room or the stray will charge or meow.

      I feel terrible!!! Like I am letting my older cat down

    • profile image

      Eric 

      11 months ago

      Hellow, we just adopted a 10 week old female kitten. We have isolated her in our guest room from our 7 month old male resident cat for the last 5 days. They are great with eating near each other and have even started to play between the door as well. The issue is when we let them meet, our old cat will chase after her. It looks as if they are play wrestling but our kitten will then start to meow and cry then run away and hide with our old cat still chasing after her. There has even been a situation where our old cat was laying on the floor relaxed and our kitten will run towards him, (to play?) and then he will start chasing and biting her again which ends up with our kitten crying. We're not sure if they are playing and we should let it happen, if the size of our older cat is an issue and just plays rough that our kitten cant handle it or, if this is a sign that they still arent used to each other. There were lots of hissing from our older cat the first couple of days but has since stopped.

    • profile image

      CJ 

      11 months ago

      Hi, a situation has changed recently with my cats-i have a male Cat about 6 and I had adopted to sisters when they were about 6 months old-at first my boy didn’t want anything to do with the girls and the girls were so curious about him, almost crush like. After a few months and when the girls were finally able to go outside for the first time they all seemed to get along. My boy played with them and they all seemed happy. Now a year and a half later there has been a shift-now the girls both just attack my boy while he’s sleeping-if he comes to the door they wait to then chase him-they literally are pushing him out-and from the beginning I made sure they all had different areas to eat and go potty and many options of beds so there was never any issue of that-everyone seems to have their spots and my boy never I saw interested in theirs and visa versus. I have times where my dogs are gone where I was having pplaytime with them to have some half fun times all together to get them to see fun is when they are together getting along and it was ok but then it just started going south where now my boy doesn’t want to do it. They will just look at him and just want to pounce on him and they become fixated. To try and stop it I make a sound, even my tone the know they need to stop and then when they do I give treats. I just don’t know what else to do-I’ve even added another Cat door on the other side of the house so he has a third option. I have so many shelves and stoops and beds outside yoh would think I had 20 cats lol. Any advice would be amazing-I feel so bad for my cat. I have two younger dogs and my cat takes a looooong time to become comfortable with stuff so with the dogs that is still a process so I feel so bad that I brought in new pets over a couple years and now all are making his life so hard :(

    • carolynkaye profile imageAUTHOR

      carolynkaye 

      11 months ago from USA

      Hello Tamara, I have heard of this happening. Even if these two got along well before, a change like being in a new home is enough to make them act differently than normal. This is usually temporary and eventually should lessen as they get adjust to their new home and family. It sounds like you're doing everything right with the separate food and litter areas. It think it might take a little more time and patience, especially since they're both adult cats and not young kittens. Thank so much for your comments and question. I hope they start getting along soon!

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      TamaraUK 

      11 months ago

      Thanks for the interesting article!

      I adopted two mature female shelter cats three weeks ago and they are not getting along. I was told that they were previously living together and were friends, possibly relations (one is 7, the other is 8). They hiss, lock into fights, growl, and display other aggressive behaviours all the time. I have two feeding areas (although one has a tendency to eat more than the other), two litter trays etc, and they now have the run of the house, but they still chase and threaten each other. One is extremely timid and is hiding almost all the time, coming out cautiously to eat, the other is a lap cat already and wants to cuddle and have affection. We do not know their history, the shelter had them for a few months and say they were never aggressive towards each other, but their description appears to be for different cats! I would like to make it work and to be able to keep both, but am not sure what else I can do. Feliway hasn’t made a visible difference.

    • profile image

      Nicoleth 

      11 months ago

      I have a 2-3 year old male cat I had for that long was a stray his mother who is also bring him to the door and I took him in I got him neutered about a week ago but, I took in another male kitten who’s his brother and about 3-4 months old .They get along for the most part no hissing or growling they seem to love each other but,the older cat now and then does get rough he excessively cleans the kitten “everywhere” on em and wants to chase the kitten pin em and goes for the neck or the elbow which scares me the kitten does let out a little cry but seems fine after big one stops by me yelling .Any idea how I can stop this problem .P.s the little kitten isn’t neutered yet . Help is appreciated greatly

    • carolynkaye profile imageAUTHOR

      carolynkaye 

      11 months ago from USA

      Hello Brad, My best guess as to why this happening is because Bella smells different to Luna from being at the vet. She was handled by different people and might have a scent of medicine or something used during the procedure that Luna is reacting to and upset by. If you're able to, bathe them both separately with a cat shampoo and keep them apart until they're dry. This should remove whatever scent Bella has and they'll both smell the same. If bathing isn't an option, rub cat treats on your hands and pet them both so their fur smells alike. I think the baths would be the best thing to try though. I hope this helps and they get back to normal.

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      Brad 

      11 months ago

      We have two female cats (Bella is 3 and Luna is 2) we got Bella when she was only a couple weeks old and Luna when she was 11 months. We introduced them and had problems at first but after a week or two everything was fine and they tolerated each other. I moved from WA to WI and they were fine for a year then Bella had to get teeth removed and the night she came back I heard hissing and growling in the middle of the night. It’s been two weeks since and they still hiss at eachother. I have them in separate rooms, and have had moments where they act fine then they start hissing and growling again. Literally these cats spent the last two years together and lived in harmony. Now my wife and I are at a loss of what to do.. please help!

    • profile image

      Eileen 

      12 months ago

      I adopted a 8 month old kitten 8 months ago. I already have a 9 year old cat. They share everything but still fight and its getting worse dont know if they will ever get on

    • profile image

      Emily Nichole 

      12 months ago

      So, about a year ago i found a beautiful cat outside, she gets along with my other cat extremely well, but two days ago I recently found a cat who's definitely older (possibly the mother or father of the kitten I found) and tried to let her/him into the house. My one year old kitten chased it back out but the cat still stays around. Is there a possible way to be able to bring in this cat without my indoor cat terrorizing it?

    • profile image

      Nancy E Gale 

      12 months ago

      We have two three-year old cats (brother and sister) and just adopted two kittens. We kept the kittens separated from the older cats for two weeks and recently introduced them. Things are going pretty well, but in the last couple of days, the older male will occasionally growl and hiss at one of the kittens and she seems to pee out of fear (otherwise she's using the litter box just fine). This has happened twice. Any suggestions?

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      Crystal Carter 

      12 months ago

      I have a male and a female cat and they grew up together as kittens are like two peas in a pod but I got another cat, not a kitten, and at first she was aggressive towards my 2 cats but soon enough she became friends with the male cat but she cannot get along with my female no matter what I do. I’ve followed everything you’ve suggested but the newer female will just sit and watch my female cat and just attack her for no reason and it is slowly leading into my female cat to use the restroom elsewhere or to just hide unless she notices that she is not around. And they have separate eating and liter boxes but nothing seems to help. And all 3 of them have been together for about 11 months now and I don’t know what to do.

    • profile image

      goji 

      12 months ago

      Hi! I hope it's okay to ask for cat advice here, since it seems like other people are doing so below.

      We just brought home a 10-week old neutered male rescue kitten to our household with a 3-year-old rescue female. The female has had kittens before we adopted her, and because of her intense separation anxiety (which we were told when we brought her home was caused by the removal of her kittens) we intend for the new kitten to be a companion to her. It has been about a year since we adopted her, and we're not entirely sure when she had her kittens. Is there any way to promote a mother/kitten relationship between the two without stressing them out?

      Thank you for your time!

    • profile image

      Ray 

      12 months ago

      My cat Deimos always growls and

      runs away from his brother Phobos because Phobos was always very aggressive before he got fixed, and Deimos was fixed way before Phobos, so Phobos often thought he was a girl which caused some obvious issues.

      I’m wondering if I can somehow get

      Deimos to be comfortable around Phobos again but nothing really seems to work. Deimos always hangs out in my room whereas Phobos doesn’t really belong to anyone in particular so he just roams the house and goes where he wants, as long as it isn’t in my room because he knows Deimos is in there and will growl at him. I’ve tried having them both hang out in my room, but they always just find separate spots to sit in the room, and conflict doesn’t really get resolved. Any advice?

    • carolynkaye profile imageAUTHOR

      carolynkaye 

      13 months ago from USA

      Hello Pari, It sounds like your male cat is confused and maybe a little upset about the female being gone and then now back. From being outside and away from your home, she might smell like a stranger to the male cat and that's why he's acting that way toward her. One idea is to bathe them both separately with a cat shampoo and keep them away from each other until they're both dry. Then they'll both smell the same and this can lessen his reaction. If bathing isn't possible, you can rub some cat treats or dry cat food on your hands and pet both cats so they smell the same. It still might take some time for him to adjust to her being back, so keep an eye on them when they're together so he doesn't get too aggressive. From what you describe, it sounds like this is a temporary reaction and they should get back to normal soon. Thanks for your question!

    • profile image

      Pari 

      13 months ago

      I have 2 cats, a boy and a girl. They were realy friends and they loved each other until My girl was lost last week and I found her after 10 days. Now my boy is not accepting her anymore, and he is so aggressive with her. Do you have any suggestions for me. What should I do to make them be friends again? Or should I just give it some time?

    • carolynkaye profile imageAUTHOR

      carolynkaye 

      13 months ago from USA

      Hi Laurie, Since your two shy cats are doing much better without the stress of the the younger two, I would keep the pairs separate at this point since you're able to do that. If you can have all the cats spend at least some time together each day, they might start to adjust and eventually no longer need to be kept separate. As the two younger cats get older and less active, the relationships might improve as well. But for now, for the sake of the older two, I'd keep them apart especially when you're not around until you see the relationships improve and you're confident the two won't be bullied or stressed. I hope this helps. Thank you for your question :)

    • profile image

      Laurie 

      13 months ago

      Hi!

      I have a 15 year old make - very shy and scared. He lived with 3 other cats who were older than him his whole life until they all passed away over a year’s time. After the first passed away we adopted a small shy girl. That girl m, Hazel, adjusted pretty well - never liked the other cats but managed. A few months later we adopted a dog. Hazel is madly in love with the dog and the dog does fine with all of the cats. The other two cats passed away a week apart the following year. Right before this, we found a stray kitten. The other two cats passed when he was 6 week old. That boy, Bailey, is now a massive black 2 year old fluffy cat. He chased Hazel a lot but she dealt with him. The old 15 year old cat was, however, aggressively chased by him so hid most of th day away and lost weight. We made a sanctuary room for him. We got into a routine - not perfect, but working. Then, we adopted a 5 month old female. We did the introduction process and she decided that Hazel was no longer going to rule. I get that they needed to figure out hierarchy. However, Bailey, had an immediate fondness for the new girl kitten and decided to join in on the bullying. So, we were left with two shy cats being bullied by two young fluffy cats. It got so bad that Hazel urinated and deficated from the stress and the screaming was horrible. I have a cool house where I could separate the two factions so I have. The two shy ones stay in the sanctuary room for 12 hours while the fluffies have the run of the house and then the fluffies get locked downstairs for the nighttime 12 hours and the shy ones can have the run of the house. We’ve been doing this for months. I’d like for them to be able to live together and not have to separate them like this. My shy ones have been so happy, though, and are eating and snuggly with us at night. I would hate to ruin that. Should I keep separating them forever? What would you do?

    • carolynkaye profile imageAUTHOR

      carolynkaye 

      14 months ago from USA

      Hello Janet, Being in a new home takes some adjustment for cats, even if they're a bonded pair. My guess is that's why Boots is going after Riley. It's just a reaction to being stressed and once they settle in they should get along like before. Try to encourage them to play and give them both lots of attention and reassurance as they get used to their new home and it should work out between them soon. Thanks for your question.

    • carolynkaye profile imageAUTHOR

      carolynkaye 

      14 months ago from USA

      This sounds like a normal reaction. Your 11 year-old cat probably accepted the kitten more easily because he doesn't see him or her as a threat. It sounds like he sees the 10 year-old cat as competition. Being 11, he's used to being the center of things and isn't happy about the new guy right now. In my experience, cats will pout and be grumpy for a while to let you know they're not happy about having a new cat around. My male cat did this for a couple months before he stopped being anti-social and hiding out. As long as you keep giving him lots of love and attention (and cat treats) when he is at home, I wouldn't worry too much about him staying away. It might take a few more weeks, but he should start getting back to normal as he realizes he's still going to get love, attention and food when he's home. I hope this helps. Thanks for your question and good luck with your cats :-)

    • profile image

      therese 

      14 months ago

      hey. i have one 11 year old cat and a kitten thats 7 months old. these two have always been like soulmates... then i got a third cat, and the 11 year old started growling and hissing at the new one. in the beginning (about a week ago) i new it was normal untill the oldes one began attacking and growling to the youngest one....

      the third cat has now settled in and goes fine with the youngest one. but the 11 year old has calmed down abit... but still growls if the new one gets too close. if the yougest one is outside with 11 year old one, they play or fight.... the oldest one has also been more and more outside since the new cat came, and now we barley see him. he only comes for food, and then again straight outside... if we dont let him go outside he gets grumpy and growling or talking all the time to get out... witch is not normal for him to do. he started with this a week ago... will this get over with time? what can i do to make the 11 year old spend more time at home without forcing him (he has now gone to neighbours for attention and comfort and goes well with their cats).. please help me, i dont want to give the new cat away since nobody but us wants him cause his age (10)

    • profile image

      coralteague@hotmail.com 

      14 months ago

      I have 2 mail cats that were adopted at the same time. They ar3 both 13 and have been with me from 10 weeks old. One is constantly wanting to sit or be where the other is or has been, and he sniffs where ever the other has been. It’s very stressful. They fight because of this behaviou4. Any help would be great. Thank you

    • carolynkaye profile imageAUTHOR

      carolynkaye 

      14 months ago from USA

      Hi Arvind, You're welcome and thanks so much for your comment :)

    • profile image

      arvind 

      14 months ago

      hi author this is very useful knowledge thanks for this article

    • carolynkaye profile imageAUTHOR

      carolynkaye 

      14 months ago from USA

      It sounds like there has been a lot of change in your cats' lives recently with two cats leaving and two new cats coming in. It common for cats to start fighting and acting strange for a while until they adjust to a new dynamic. It sounds like Darryl has been the alpha cat and now Clark is hoping to take that role and that's causing problems between them. Because the changes are probably what's causing them not to get along, this will likely settle down over the next few weeks as they all adjust. Until then, try to keep the worst trouble maker(s) separate from the others when you're not around or at night. When they're together, keep a close eye on them and do what you can to encourage them to play and have fun. (Cat treats, toys, etc.) Make sure there are a lot of litter boxes and a few separate areas for food, water and beds so everyone has enough space and they don't start to feel territorial. I think that's the best you can do until they get used to the new cats. Hope this helps!

    • profile image

      Wacoonfire 

      14 months ago

      Help...I have a 6 year old cat named Darryl who goes inside and outside of the house and has his whole life, last year a stray came to the door and I took him in, his name is Clark. Darryl and Clark have gotten along since day 1. Recently me and my girlfriend split up and she moved out with her 2 cats. I then went and adopted 2 new cats a 6 month old named RJ and a 1 year old named Toby. Clark quickly got along with the new editions but Darryl was hesitant and I fully expected this behavior. Yesterday I let Darryl inside the house to eat and full on hell broke loose. All 3 of the other cats basically attacked Darryl which I never would have believed. Darryl is a big boy pushing 23 lbs. I dont think he expected this either. Clark seems to have the biggest problem with Darryl at this point and I cant figure out what is going on. All of them are males and they are all neutered. Any help would be great. Finding another home for the boys is not an option. Thanks

    • profile image

      Janet Kofoed 

      14 months ago

      We just got two young adult female rescue cats. They were said to be a bonded pair, and the first week it was fine, but since then Boots has become more and more aggressive towards Riley. We have given Riley a litter box, food, and water in an out of the way room upstairs, but at least once a day when Riley tries to come downstairs Boots goes after her and bullies her. No physical harm has been done, but I can see Riley becoming more and more timid. They are both sweet cats and very affectionate towards us. What do you suggest?

    • carolynkaye profile imageAUTHOR

      carolynkaye 

      14 months ago from USA

      Hello Liza, How long has it been? Cats can take different amounts of time to adjust to a new cat or kitten. It could be a few weeks, or a couple months or more depending on the cat's personality. Have you tried putting them in their own carriers facing each other (a couple feet apart) so they can get used to each other's scent without interacting? As she gets more used to this, you can move the carriers closer. Because she's only a little more than a year, I do think she'll accept him eventually and they'll get along and play together.

    • profile image

      Liza 

      14 months ago

      Please advise ... I have a female resident cat around a 1 year and 4 months.. We brought home a small male kitten and she is not friendly at all. We doing like people have said swooping them around in Rooms but no contact yet as resident acts weird and hisses . what am I doing wrong I am so stressed any advice is very welcome

    • profile image

      Muhammed abdul 

      14 months ago

      I have a 1 year old male cat named Hector! So adorable! Recently I found a lonely female kitten across the street n took her in. Hector has been so jealous! Hiss at the kitten, bully her sometimes when am not around also, I try to bring them together n play with them but Hector keeps hissing, not friendly at all! I’m scared! What should I do to make hector like the new kitten ???

    • carolynkaye profile imageAUTHOR

      carolynkaye 

      15 months ago from USA

      Hello June, I wouldn't worry that this will be long-term. Cats can make big deals out of the smallest things, but they do get over it. They're probably just still stressed about the groomer and maybe can smell that "a stranger" has held the other one. I would try rubbing dry cat food or strong smelling cat treats on your hands and petting both cats and their paws/legs (if they let you) so they both smell the same. Try distracting them with a fun new toy or treats if you think a fight might break out. Other than that, try to keep things as normal as possible and I'm sure they'll get over this. Good luck and thank you for your question!

    • profile image

      June 

      15 months ago

      I recently had a groomer come to my house to trim both my cats nails hoping that this would be less traumatic than taking them to a groomer in the car - how wrong I was. Three year old brothers now can't be in the same room as one of them went mental and after fur flying, I separated them but now one of them hisses and growls at his brother and I have had to keep them separated. I am trying the reintroduction but am worried that this won't work and have spoilt the harmonious relationship for good. Any tips on how to make these two brothers like each other again?

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