5 Dog Breeds I Would Not Own
This actually started out as a joke, but there really are dog breeds out there I would not want to own. Some of them are favorite breeds (at least for some people), but I would not want one myself even though I enjoy the happiness that a canine can provide.
1. Afghan Hound
Too much work
Despite being on the top five slacker list this dog requires an owner with a lot more energy than me It has a long coat that, if left alone, will mat and fill up with weeds.
This dog looks gorgeous running through an open field or crashing through the waves but I barely have time enough to take care of my own long hair; I do not need any more to worry about.
Who needs a slim dog that looks this good anyway? An Afghan may be okay if you look like a supermodel--I don´t.
2. Basset Hound
This dog is rated at the top of those dogs able to stay home alone. Any idea why?
According to the Intelligence of Dogs this dog is down near the bottom. I know, I know, all the Basset fans are angry and saying “But my dog is smart and good for lots of things.” They are good for keeping the couch warm, sure. I read in a book somewhere that they used to be hunting dogs. No one I know has ever kept one for hunting.
"But not MY basset" will probably be a common complaint in the comments section!
3. Border Collie
That same intelligence book rates the Border Collie at the top. There was one Border Collie that was so good at identifying its toys (the dog had learned 1000 different words in identification) that they had to write the names on them so the human did not forget.
This breed may be okay for some people but I do not want a dog correcting my grammatical errors when I am writing these stupid articles on the internet. My dog is no Border Collie and she does not blog but she already leans over my shoulder and criticizes me for the image selection.
At least she has not figured out how to download. If I had a Border Collie my files would be filled with pictures of dogs.
Read this stupid book if you are in the mood to be angry. (I pull my copy off the shelf and look at it whenever I want my stomach acid flaring up.)
Actually it is not stupid, just wrong most of the time.
4. Chinese Crested
These dogs have a face only a mother could love. Well, I am not sure even a mother could love some of their faces. They don’t have furry coats so you can´t cuddle them, they have wiry bristles sticking out of their faces like that crazy uncle you used to visit as a kid, and they have wrinkles that definitely need an avocado facial mask.
I don´t even have the sort of wardrobe budget I would need to support one of these dogs.
These dogs look too much like human babies and then people make it worse when they dress them up in pink and wheel them around in carriages. Of course if my daughter is reading this I have to point out I am not talking about her resemblance to a Pug. Just every other human baby on the planet, sweetie!
This breed has large eyes, smushed in faces, bloated tummies, and round skulls. Anything like a human baby?
Actually there are several others I did not include. I would not want to own a Labrador (too popular), a Basenji (too wild), a Beagle (too tame), or a chow chow (too hairy), but five seemed like a good number.
Do you have a favorite dog breed that you would never own? Leave a comment below.