Shaddie has countless years of experience dealing with all manner of creatures great and small.
5 Worst Animals to Keep as Pets
Animals are great. There is no denying the fact that life would not be the same without them. Pets are a vision of our better natures—masters of the wisdom and simplicity we wish we could attain in our lives.
But let's face it, some animals are better left outside of the home and should really not be sold in pet stores, much less anywhere where someone might find them. These are either animals that are more difficult to keep than advertised or animals so vicious, so destructive, that it's a wonder they are still offered for sale nation-wide. Some animals just make the worst pets.
The views expressed in this article are mostly entirely satirical and should not be taken to the grave. Some animals on this list genuinely do not make good pets for beginners, however, and it is recommended that you do the proper research before purchasing any animal.
Also known as budgies, budgerigars, and miserable freaks of nature, parakeets are small parrots indigenous throughout Australia (the same place that supports a splendid array of other friendly creatures). They eat a modest diet of seeds, vegetation, and human blood, while screaming and beeping continuously in a cacophony that fills the air and deafens the ear. After all, they spend their time traveling together in flocks of thousands, so they have to be able to hear one another over all that racket.
Parakeets Are Noisy
Parakeets have the honor of being scientifically classified as Melopsittacus undulatus, which in Latin literally means "melodious parrot undulations." Yes, it's true. The melodious sound of their mechanical squeals are reminiscent of a dying chipmunk, punctuated by all the warbling nonsense of a senile patient. The continuous buzz of their annoyingly pervasive song is enough to make one succumb to an anger only witnessed in those who have survived fingernails on a chalkboard.
Parakeets Are Mean
As one might assume from their horrible noises, parakeets are downright mean. In fact, birds get a kick out of teasing others. They can frequently be seen plucking, pecking, wing-bashing, and generally taunting their fellow mates for sport. Some people claim that this is "funny" or "cute" because birds are so like us, in that we choose similar outlets for our boredom, but they would be wrong. Well, actually, they would be right, but it doesn't make this behavior any less despicable.
They Are After Blood
Speaking of their beastly behaviors . . . have you ever tried to catch a parakeet in a cage? This sounds like a fairly easy endeavor, but it is, unfortunately, a dangerous dance with the devil. They never want to come out, and removing them from their wiry home is about as easy as wading through a crocodile-infested river, and just as equally safe. Parakeets are equipped with stupid, little beaks and a blunt brain, which they use in unison to bite onto any inch of your skin that is exposed. Once latched, they will scissor their beaks back and forth in a vicious, pinching, gnawing fashion, which is both painful and infuriating.
They Are Poop Machines
How can such a small animal inflict so much pain, you may wonder? Why are they so full of hate? Just more of the many mysteries of the universe. But something that is no mystery is the sheer mountains of poop that they will generate over a very small span of time. Every parakeet owner will come to find that parakeets poop on beds, carpets, your clothes, and even your hair. They constantly poop. Poop is all over the place.
Their Numbers Are Great
So, do you like obnoxious, little birds that shed dandruff and rain feces from the ceiling while simultaneously eyeing you up to target the most sensitive areas on your hand (the skin between your fingers)? If so, then you're in luck! Every pet store on the face of the planet has approximately 2 million of these irritating little things!
Melodious Parrot Undulations
Did you know that the common goldfish can grow up to one foot long? In actuality, there are a lot of things about goldfish you probably don't know. Such as the fact that, for their size, they are possibly the dirtiest non-aggressive freshwater fish available in pet stores. Does this mean they survive in bowls? No, it doesn't.
Their Lifespan Can Exceed 30 Years of Age
There exists a large number of uneducated people who believe that goldfish can survive splendidly in bowls, because, well, they had a goldfish in a bowl when they were a kid that survived a whole year! Goldfish actually have the ability to live over 30 years. The ridiculousness of those defending the "long lifespan" of their 6-month-old or 1-year-old goldfish is about as laughable as someone saying they did a great job with their last Rottweiler because it survived a whole week under their care.
Most people pick up goldfish at the pet store with nothing but a bowl and some fish flakes to go. This is a mistake, and will most assuredly always end in a fish that lives but a fraction of its typical life, which undoubtedly will result in both a crying child and more money for yet another replacement.
They Need Lots of Space
To adequately keep a goldfish, one is recommended to provide 5 gallons per inch of fish and a filter that both circulates and cleans the water, which will by this time be full of ammonia because goldfish are such filthy little creatures. This is all not even to mention the entirety of what we call the nitrogen cycle, also known as "The Ridiculously Complicated and Delicate Life of Water Chemicals and Bacteria in Domestic Aquariums."
They Require Husbandry Knowledge
People are constantly flabbergasted as to why their goldfish, or any fish, die all the time, and it's probably because they haven't done their proper research. Parasites, nitrites, ammonia, pH, hardness, temperature, tank size, adequate filtration systems, appropriate day/night cycles, and oxygenation are just a few of the little gems you'll have to deal with when setting up a proper (e.g. anything that you intend to last longer than a few weeks) tank.
Like most evil things, hamsters have the outward appearance of being cute, fluffy, cuddly, and all things that kids are for some reason drawn to. In fact, when kids see hamsters, they elicit instantaneous squeals and coos of perturbing obsession that only seem to become harsher in volume. But before you reach a hand into that Critter Trail to give your cuddly new pet a tickle, consider the following: Hamsters are absolutely terrifying.
Hamsters Are Absolutely Terrifying
It is a well-known fact that hamsters are bloodthirsty killers that will bite through your fingers without a second thought. In fact, there are few things in life that hamsters will not attempt to puncture full of holes, and the only thing they hate more than fingers is apparently everything. Even metal is no match for the destructive power of these hateful biting machines.
They Find Their Way Into Your Home . . .
Through means of genius deception and cut-throat tactics, hamsters have established themselves within millions of homes all throughout America. They are in rooms with your sons. They inhabit the same living spaces as your daughters. They pander to your child's ridiculous interest in weird rodents enough for you to buckle under the pressure and buy one, two, or five, and then, once they have settled themselves into their new home, the bloodbath begins.
Their Urine Is Highly Acidic and Fragrant
Do not be fooled by the chubby arms and beady little eyes of these popular pet store vermin. Those colorless peepers are windows into the inky blackness of the hamster's nonexistent soul—God's only warning that would stop us from otherwise hugging a giant, wriggling, screaming pile of them. And oh, they scream! They sound like a . . . well, they sound like a dying hamster.
In addition to their less-than-pleasant bedside manner, hamster urine is highly acidic and extremely difficult to clean. If left for just a week, it can cake, stain, permeate, and even begin to erode plastic. Don't even get me started on the smell . . .
2. Green Iguanas
What a cutie! Such intelligent eyes! Neato burrito, only $30 bucks? It's small, colorful, fun to watch, and cheap—what could be a better combination? Green iguanas: best pet ever? Green iguanas: worst pet ever.
Green iguanas are green and flashy, beautiful and exotic, pragmatic and active, and full of charm . . . as babies. But soon enough you'll notice that your cuddly little lizard starts wearing out his novelty by constantly breaking curfew, bringing his irresponsible friends over whenever you're out of town, and, of course, magically making all of the liquor in your cabinet disappear.
They Are Hard to Resist
Unsuspecting American citizens all across the country walk into pet stores with only the best intentions in mind, looking for a new best friend. Unfortunately, these ignoramuses are doomed upon entry, for the mere sight of a baby green iguana is near impossible to resist. The sparkliness of a young green iguana's body is designed to attract males and females alike, stirring in them an intoxicating, alien fascination.
They Are Expensive Pets
These animals seem easy to manage in the pet store, but they are really expensive money pits that require constant UVB lighting, UVA lighting, heat, nutritional supplements, extensive saladry, climbing materials, baths, and medical care, should something go wrong (and believe me, something always goes wrong)! Metabolic bone disease, gout, hypothyroidism, kidney diseases, stomatitis, ticks, mites, roundworms, and flatworms are all just examples of the things a typical green iguana owner will come to witness.
They Are Invasive
Green iguanas have become invasive in some states, namely Florida, where they toss about eating peoples' shrubs and digging holes wherever they fancy. They also like to poop in peoples' pools, which is cool, I guess, if you like animals pooping in your pool.
Not only that, but as pets, green iguanas quickly grow from being a bright green, 6-inch individual, to a 6-foot-long, dull-gray monster capable of scratching your eyes out, biting your pinkies off, and lashing your bare skin with its powerful whip of a tail.
Lizard Shows Cat Who Is Boss
You may be wondering how anyone could call cats the worst pets ever when there are over 80 million cats kept as pets in the United States alone. Surely cats must be great due to the large influx of their popularity in American homes. But the truth of the matter is that cats are terrible and would sooner watch you drown in the bathtub than please you by correctly using the litter box. Cats simply have no time for bull ****.
They Are Selfish
It's true. Cats are not interested in the least bit of happiness, sadness, or anger you express, nor are they particularly moved by any affection you may offer them. These selfish beasts are under the impression that the world revolves around them—worthy of nothing less than to be doted on 24/7. Constantly dissatisfied with every toy, treat, meal, and game you offer them, cats only seem interested in pooping under your bed, peeing on your pillows, dragging dead (or not so dead) birds to either rot or ricochet about your house, and lastly, of course, hurting you.
They Are Ungrateful
This poor little girl became aware of the contemptible characteristics of cats early on when her own long lost pet thanked her for her continuing care by sinking its fangs into her hand. What a jerk. Compare that train wreck of ungratefulness with the video of a dog being reunited with his owner (below).
They Get Away With Everything
For being such demanding, self-centered beasts, cats get away with a lot. They are allowed to roam free in your neighbor's yards (this is called being an "outdoor cat"), dig up gardens or children's sandboxes to plant festering piles of poo in, steal things, decimate wildlife, and even attack small children in the face. Feral cats are even allowed protection, meals, and spay/neuter programs despite the fact that they are invasive, destructive, murderous, disease-spreading packs of wild animals.
Dogs could never get away with this kind of reckless behavior. Packs of feral dogs are captured and destroyed if they are not adoptable, and any attack made by a dog on a child would result in the animal's immediate euthanasia. But cats are free to run willy nilly through the countryside, spreading their disease to the rest of the feline populace and causing little girls worldwide to burst into tears.
They Carry Disease
Speaking of spreading diseases, enter one parasite by the name of Toxoplasma gondii. This bizarre creature has the ability to infest you and not only threaten the life of your baby (if you are pregnant), but also alter your mental state. In simpler words, this protozoa can control your brain by releasing endorphins whenever you smell cat urine. Crazy cat ladies just started to make a lot more sense! Additionally, Toxoplasmosis carried by feral cats into wilderness areas is causing a slew of diseases in wild animals, including deer and whales.
Detrimental to our native animals through means of predation and disease, harmful to our children and potentially to our pregnant women, the destructive forces of cats far outweigh any other pet animal known to human due to the sheer number of feral and outdoor individuals (which, according to the Stray Pet Advocacy, is somewhere between 18 and 87 million). All this makes the subtly refined cat, shrouded in a cloak of mock innocence, the worst pet ever.
Dog Being Reunited With Owner
Share your thoughts below.
9189180919181 on September 05, 2020:
I hate to do this but you are 100% correct on parakeets. One of my parakeets cut the other one on the head and it started bleeding mad
Cookietel462d on September 02, 2020:
I agree with the most part with the budgies. I had budgies that i tried my hardest to tame and bond with but they wont even let me play with them let alone have them love me. They screamed so loudly that my whole family wanted me to get rid of them but i didn't. The only thing they thought as me was a food dispensing machine.Eventually my male budgie started to warm up to me a little and let me pet him and he even stepped up. But then i learnt the truth that he was slowly dying and thats why he didnt care about me touching him. He eventually became one with the ground. (he's dead) I got a cockatiel that also didnt like me ofc but it was only the first week so it was to be expected wish me luck!
ALSO this comment and this list is just the writers opinions! Don't get sooo worked up people.
HoagieTheHamster on August 06, 2020:
Also, cats are nice pets if you treat them nice, and they want attention when they want it. Rather than a dog who always wants attention. That’s just my opinion.
HoagieTheHamster on August 06, 2020:
Are these exaggerated? Lol I’m pretty sure you can prevent some of these from happening such as if you’re going to pet a hamster you should wash your hands first with non-scented soap. I dunno, these seem very dramatic.
Lua on August 02, 2020:
Parakeets are social loving birds, they're often shy and scared at first because at Pet Shops they're neglected and don't interact with humans. Like the person said under, they see grabbing hands like a predator, a bird of prey swooping on them, which is absolutely terrifying. Their cage is their safe spot, it's like their home they can hide in, and you, coming in their cage scares the living daylight out of them. They're not mean, theyre acting normally to defend themselves against heartless people like you. They play, once they finish the "pecking order" which is normal in ALL birds, they do not normally hurt eachother, as they bond for life. Your facts are wrong and you're full of hot, biased hate. It's immature. This is also to anyone looking to buy a parakeet!
Shayaan Mujawer on July 31, 2020:
No you are wrong I have 9 parakeets and they are sweet they have a fabulous behavior .Sure they poop alot but that does not make them the worst pet,they are considered one of the best pets in the world and cats are playful,hamsters are great for small kids or adults and every animal in this list does not suppose to be here in this list.And budgies/parakeets do not drink or go after blood.You just hate animals!!
So your saying that almost all pets except dogs are bad? on July 19, 2020:
I have had 3 goldfish, all of them living at least 20 years, 2 hampsters, both of them living 4 years and both of them being very sweet, 2 parakeets, both of them being loud, but not freaks of nature at all, and I have owned a cat!
Wrong info on July 11, 2020:
I have 6 pet parakeets and they are the sweetest! I've never received a bite so painful that it sprouted blood, and they don't eat a seed diet, it needs to be fed in minimum quantity.
They are not irritating, and you have to survive with pet poop if you own a pet.
Sure, sometimes they might scream a little and potentially annoy you, but this is atrocious and rude. They are not obnoxious and never show their "un-happiness" in even the worst pet care, and brighten up your day. You have insulted a lot of animals here.
You are the one full of hate. This is a very biased article, and thanks to you, your website will lose a lot of readers.
Guest User on July 10, 2020:
It’s me again I wanted to add I literally put in are crabs good so many thing came up like “crabs are the best pet! I wish I had a crab” I had to subscribe because of that but I even put in should I have a card it sad Yes! Crabs are the best pet!
Guest User on July 10, 2020:
I thought crabs were going to be on this list but it’s not I don’t like people saying never buy crabs there fun curios playful can be tamed there so much fun!
Me on July 08, 2020:
Owners of horrible pets around the world have united in rage and protest against you.
Lottie on July 05, 2020:
I had a wonderful hamster named Jerry. He was kind and sweet and most hamsters are “mean” because they have inadequate housing. Hamsters need at least 450 square inches of floor space, 8 inches of bedding, spot cleaned daily, full clean every month, 11-12 inch wheel (for a Syrian), a sand bath, vegetables, meat, hamster food, hamster balls are bad btw, chew toys, tunnels, soft paper based bedding, no other hamsters (all hamsters are solitary) and may more things! They are underestimated little creatures.
Hope this helps some people getting hamsters.xx
Comment not made to start fights or arguments.
I love cinnamon on July 02, 2020:
I’m really mad!
CATS ARE GOOD on June 30, 2020:
look, cats are cats and they are different and they do know when your upset because when someone makes me cry my comforts me and will attack the person, they know when your angry aswell, cats will stop harrasing you if they sence anger, thye overall reason cats aqttck you is because thery dobnt get attention or they want to play or you forgot to feed them, you have a totally wrong porspective on cats, and if cats are so mean how comes outdoor cats still come back home when they are done outside, they are cats not humans so they need us to support them, so fix your oppinion and mabye cuddle with a cat onse in your life
This Article is very strange... on June 17, 2020:
Now listen, I think this is good article if it was correct. The cat at number one got me very angry. My grandma has a cat that loves me so much. It DOES care about my feelings. After I read this I asked my grandma if she had brought birds to the door and she said NO! Then I saw “these selfish beast” and I just quit. This person just hates animals. DOES ANYONE AGREE?!?!?!
PUPPY GIRL on June 15, 2020:
It's kinda unfair, and these animals are all adorable, I'm sure that this article is funny, but this kind of humor, I do not find funny. It's cruel to see the way that they have portrayed them, you would think they were killing machines!
POPCORN?! on June 15, 2020:
This is kind of mean. I think that parakeets and all the above mentioned pets are sweethearts. True, parakeets are poop machines, but that's okay! this article is pretty mean, not to mention rude. Some people have said that the author wrote this for humor, but I think otherwise. This kind of humor, I find, is not funny at all!
Animal lover on June 13, 2020:
I just got a pet parakeet and she’s none of the things you mentioned she is very sweet and even though she makes noise that just means she’s happy and she’s trying to talk to you. She has never bitten me or annoyed me at all so unless you’ve met all the parakeets in the world I don’t believe that you should be saying that all parakeets are bad pets unless you have met them all.
Jeff on June 13, 2020:
Hi I’m a fish hobbyist and own a lot of other pets like 5 cats they are not any of things you said most of my fish are goldfish they are very hardy and the easiest fish to care for they don’t even need filtration they just need a air pump and nothing else they actually don’t need a lot of space everybody please don’t use this website it is a total lie
PEOPLE?!?!?!? Get a life. on June 12, 2020:
"The views expressed in this article are mostly entirely satirical and should not be taken to the grave. Some animals on this list genuinely do not make good pets for beginners, however, and it is recommended that you do the proper research before purchasing any animal." That is a direct quote from the author. READ THE FINE PRINT PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!
Mayble on June 08, 2020:
I own 3 parakeets, this article is SUCH A LIE. Sure they’re noisy, but it’s mostly just the noises they make when they’re happy, and it doesn’t sound like screeching, it’s just normal bird singing. Also they’re not after blood, they’re not vampires!! They’re attitude depends on the way you treat them. If you care for your parakeet and give it lots of attention, love, and respect it won’t struggle or run away when handling it. They’re the cutest and friendliest little fuzz balls I’ve ever owned!! I just thing the person who wrote this article didn’t treat animals the right way and so the animals treated this person the same way.
If this was a joke on June 02, 2020:
Yes some of the bits are funny, but the rest is not /: It is VERY true that budgies are poop machines xD
I’m that person who wrote the warning ⚠️ about this article and the one who did
It’s below my comment if you keep scrolling down
Wth on June 02, 2020:
if this was a joke it aint funny ngl
IKR?!?!?!? on June 01, 2020:
Why are people being so scathing? This article is humorous and funny. I read most of the comments, and the author stopped responding moths ago, probably because people were being jerks about it. I can't believe y'all. Show some decency! I imagine the writer was probably laughing as she wrote this and it crushed her soul to see people respond like this. I must agree with anonymous below me and say I do not like this humor. It seems serious and one cant tell that your joking. And here's a hint for the future, when you write an article, include the warning in the very beginning and not in the prolog. People never read the prolog. I'm truly sorry for they way these people are acting. And if anyone keeps posting hate comments, shame on you. You are shamming a author you have never met because you are just bored. Shame on you!
anonymous on May 26, 2020:
please anyone who has taken this seriously, please calm down. at the start of the article it clearly states that this is all for humoring sake. this writer was just trying to make a funny article. although this humor i do not find funny.
emily on May 21, 2020:
this made me cry! God made these animals and we treat them like this! People are the worst!
tobby on May 18, 2020:
why are you so rude
hamsters are cute
goldfish are cute
CATS ARE ADORBS
dnt be rude to gods creations
Parakeetsthebest on May 14, 2020:
Parakeets are the best pet someone could wish for! I have only had them for a few months, and they already have eggs that are hatchig! EASIEST BREED EVER!!
No on May 13, 2020:
Why won’t you reply anything this comment section? OTHERWISE I will report this article
UnderTaker92 on May 12, 2020:
I had cats and they are very loving to the owner and people who they are familiar with. They can be temperamental and selfish at times but they can sense you’re feelings when your down. Never had my cats pee on my pillow or under the bed. Sounds like You had a bad experience with cats. the cat most likely was in stress or marking if it felt unsafe. Some cats do well without other cats Or kids. Plus I have a parakeet and their bite doesn’t hurt at all. U have to build a lot of trust with them and give lots of attention. I can agree they poop a lot and they are very noisy. Boy the pin feathers can get everywhere but I’m glad I got him!
SilverThorn on May 12, 2020:
I have parakeets they are everything people want in a pet yes they can be noisy but there not mean at all. Parakeets can be defensive but with training there nice. I have cats they are great and I had three hamsters, THREE. this website is trash, stupid and not helpful. I would tell people right now to not believe anything this website says.
ugh on May 10, 2020:
NOT EVEN PET HELPFUL!!!!!!!!!!
Omg stop posting lies on May 10, 2020:
OMG this is lying. Why didn't you put dogs on there? Or any other animal. I have parakeets. They are noisy but if you tell them to be quiet they will. Boomers...
Omg stop posting lies on May 10, 2020:
OMG this is lying. Why didn't you put dogs on there? Or any other animal. I have parakeets. They are noisy but if you tell them to be quiet they will. Boomers...
emily on May 09, 2020:
I think cats are the best pet ever! My Grandma has a cat named Darla and she is a sweetheart. She has never pooped anywhere besides the litter box. She is truly a cat from Heaven! Kids none of these pets are the worst.
emily on May 08, 2020:
This is not true. Yes Parakeets are poop machines but they are angels. They also chirp or sing when they are happy. So CUTE!!!
Dwight Schrute on May 08, 2020:
that is so not true parakeets are angels and I have 2 cats who just wanna snuggle you and they have never pooped anywhere besides the litter box
really, ANIMALS ARE SO GREAT on May 07, 2020:
ANIMALS ARE SO GREAT, it is true they are poop machines but, the other rest is just false
Bookworm on May 06, 2020:
I have a cat and cats our not one of the worst pets i the world, the only hard part is i guess scooping the poop.
Pet Person on April 27, 2020:
I think this is biased. The type of pets you get just depend on your personal taste and budget. Also, if you truly have had all these pets, you probably wouldn't have given each and every of them the proper care and affection.
Rachel Long on April 23, 2020:
The parakeet one is just bull crap. They aren't mean and their singing is so beautiful and they are entertaining.
LeahFreckles on April 22, 2020:
Yeah I know right
CATS RULE on April 21, 2020:
Firstly, I COMPLETELY AGREE WITH LeahFreckles on this. Cats are the best in the world and our cats usually have a very large lifespan. Also I would just like to note that cats keep themselves clean most of the time and the only reason they would be carrying disease is if they weren't keeping clean - THEN the vet would be necessary. (DOGS are more likely to be carrying disease with their drooling mouths). I actually think that all cats in MY neighbourhood are very grateful for their food and care. Precious cats have no reason to be on this unhelpful list. And yes, this is the worst article I have ever read. And for that, I am never going on this website ever again. I also agree with various Animal Owners that this is all rubbish and I wouldn't recommend this mistake-ridden article. "This poor little girl became aware of the contemptible characteristics of cats early on when her own long lost pet thanked her for her continuing care by sinking its fangs into her hand. What a jerk. Compare that train wreck of ungratefulness with the video of a dog being reunited with his owner (below)." I THINK NOT!! This "poor girl" must have done something mean to this cat, making it react. Trust me. I know a lot about cats and I even own a countless amount of books from the Cats Protection, on how to figure out a cat's mood. Cats are certainly not ungrateful and a dog does not deserve to have a video over a cat whose actions must have a meaning. Also at the start of this article I think it is incredibly RUDE on how you described a cat: "Cats simply have no time for bull ****"
PROTEST FOR CATS!!
PROTEST FOR CATS!!
Just want to say, don't take this article seriously, this think is almost lies.
Animal Owner on April 13, 2020:
This list is just idiotic. There are so many mistakes I'm just gonna talk about budgies so I don't waste more of my time. First off, you said "They eat a modest diet of seeds, vegetation, and human blood, while screaming and beeping continuously in a cacophony that fills the air and deafens the ear." Before I talk about this, I want to say to budgie owners, do not give your budgies seed and nothing else. I sadly made that mistake and one of my birds are now greatly suffering because of it and I feel horrible. So now, let's talk about the statement. They don't go after human blood, have you ever owned a budgie before? If you did, it was untame. Tame budgies are the sweetest things on the planet. Unless you have tons of budgies, it isn't that loud. Plus, you shouldn't own a budgie if you're not fine with a bit of noise. I have a big amount and it really isn't that loud. Second off, you said "The continuous buzz of their annoyingly pervasive song is enough to make one succumb to an anger only witnessed in those who have survived fingernails on a chalkboard." Their song isn't annoying. I find it quite calming to listen to. It doesn't make me angry at all, and everybody I've met who have seen my budgies loved them. Third, you said "As one might assume from their horrible noises, parakeets are downright mean. In fact, birds get a kick out of teasing others. They can frequently be seen plucking, pecking, wing-bashing, and generally taunting their fellow mates for sport." No.. they aren't. They're nice most of the time. I have lots of budgies, and guess how many are very mean? One. That's one. She came from a place where they were overbred and treated horribly, so I can't blame her for being mean. She pecks a lot, but when she's not in a bad mood, she's honestly pretty nice. The worst it is for normal budgie owners is them just being untame. They don't peck, pluck, or do other things for fun, they do it when they need food, water, or if they just got in a fight over something. They aren't entertained from doing it. They don't do it for sport, moron. Fourth, you said "Speaking of their beastly behaviors . . . have you ever tried to catch a parakeet in a cage? This sounds like a fairly easy endeavor, but it is, unfortunately, a dangerous dance with the devil. They never want to come out, and removing them from their wiry home is about as easy as wading through a crocodile-infested river, and just as equally safe. Parakeets are equipped with stupid, little beaks and a blunt brain, which they use in unison to bite onto any inch of your skin that is exposed. Once latched, they will scissor their beaks back and forth in a vicious, pinching, gnawing fashion, which is both painful and infuriating." So, seems like you have bad budgies, if you do have them. How do you take care of them? Do they have toys and friends? Where did you get them from? There are many things that can make a budgie untame and hostile. Parakeets, unless you have a huge cage, are quite easy to catch, and most don't bite me. They do want to come out.. a lot. They get sad when I don't give them enough time to fly. They aren't always stupid, though most aren't Einstien. Their head is the size of a eye, what did you expect? Again, not all budgies bite. Usually just the mean or untame ones, though there are some exceptions. They don't scissor their beaks. They usually just bite then let go and repeat or bite and clamp down. They don't run their beak across your skin, dude. Fifth, you said "How can such a small animal inflict so much pain, you may wonder? Why are they so full of hate? Just more of the many mysteries of the universe. But something that is no mystery is the sheer mountains of poop that they will generate over a very small span of time. Every parakeet owner will come to find that parakeets poop on beds, carpets, your clothes, and even your hair. They constantly poop. Poop is all over the place." Uh.. so keep them off your bed and clothes and shit? Once you shoo them off a decent amount if they do start doing it, they usually stop after a bit, atleast for me. They usually shit in the cage, which drops down into a tray covered with scrap paper below. If you clean it every few days, which only takes about 20 minutes, it stays clean and mostly odorless. Sixth, you said "So, do you like obnoxious, little birds that shed dandruff and rain feces from the ceiling while simultaneously eyeing you up to target the most sensitive areas on your hand (the skin between your fingers)? If so, then you're in luck! Every pet store on the face of the planet has approximately 2 million of these irritating little things!" So, they aren't obnoxious.. at all. They don't aim their shits. They either shit on the floor or in their cage. Or just where they're sitting. They rarely shit while flying, atleast with my experience.. and I've owned lots of budgies for years. Also, pet stores need to sell things, so they most often carry lots of common pets. Budgies are small, mostly easy pets, and they're bought a lot, so why wouldn't they sell them? It's called needing to get money, moron. So, that's it. Congrats if you read my whole rant I guess. Here's an accurate rating on budgies for those considering.
First off, if your home or apartment or whatever you live in has a no pets policy, do not keep these. The risk that neighbors will hear them is too much, due to the fact that you know, you could be fined or lose your home or something. If you can't handle cleaning shit, don't buy these. If you want pets that only live for a short time, don't buy these, one of my budgies were thought to be around 10 years old, though she was very healthy and active. They still live a while though. If you only want one and can't play with them lots, do not buy them. The budgie will probably be sad as hell. If you don't want them to fly around at all, don't buy them. Flying is a great way for them to stay more healthy and they will suffer if you don't let them, most likely. Last, if you can't do research, do not buy them. It's essential to research, so please please please don't buy a pet if you can't take care of them or research them.
Just want to say, nobody take this dude seriously. It's almost all lies.
Izzy on April 09, 2020:
Cats are not bad pets at all do not listen to them or glodfish for a cat its how u bring them mine dor example is like a dog she cuddles with u and plays goldfish in some cases may grow to one foot but in most cases they dont if u keep as pets and buy from a pet store
Fukalldosggs on April 02, 2020:
You forgot dogs, they are the worst
I like this opinion on April 02, 2020:
I like this opinion
a random cat on March 24, 2020:
This list is just rubbish. Cats are literally the BEST pets in the world, they are NOT selfish, they care about the owner and hamsters are just cute.
Agnes on March 22, 2020:
This is the most RIDICULOUS thing I’ve ever seen . This person is clearly an idiot and has NO experience with animals . Why would you put a hamster and a cat on there !!!! As if a budgie would be after your blood . I have a budgie and a cat and have had many hamsters and they all are adorable , friendly creatures . This person is straight up ridiculous
Noelle on March 18, 2020:
DIDN’T ANY OF YOU READ THE WARNING ⚠️
Noelle on March 18, 2020:
This is her/he opinion. But, I don’t like when you said about budgies ‘they are after our blood’ like seriously. Can you change it into ‘They bite aggressively’. It’s better.
hunter on March 11, 2020:
parakeet doesn't drink blood i have been studying parakeets(budgie) for 3 years and i have 15 of them.
Kementari on March 04, 2020:
Oh.My.Gosh....... Everything you said in this article is NOT true. And why on earth are CATS ON THE LIST??!! I have 4 beautiful cats (3 are stray) and they DO NOT SPREAD DISEASES. All 4 are very loving and they never fight or try to hurt my family and I. (Sure the Persian in the house is lazy... but come on). I do not find this article humorous at ALL. PERIOD..........
Oh my word. on February 24, 2020:
I read below this and I was amazed at the scathing reviews. She said in the beginning that this was a humorous article and most everything wasn't true! What has happened to people now that they can't take a joke? Has it really come to the fact that you people will call names at a lady you haven't met because her satire article offended you? Show some human decency! I think you all need to grow up. I am a author of a popular humorous book and people often get offended by what I have to say, but its humor! Get a grip!
Hermione Burgoyne on February 21, 2020:
This is stupid what idiot wrote this i wonder
Why people get these pets .. because their good pets this is the stupidity thats ruins the world
kori conner on February 09, 2020:
This website is treacherous!! It’s saying budgies hamsters goldfish and CATS ARE BAD PETS!!!! I’m a kid and my cat is a great pet. DONT TRUST THIS WEBSITE!!!!
These people be lying..... on January 27, 2020:
I have a hamster and some cats they are the sweetest things ever i lay on the couch with my hamster and he watches tv with me. I used to have parakeets and they were the same as my hamster they fly around our house there not the worst pets ever.
Very Inaccurate on January 24, 2020:
The most accurate one of these is the green iguana everything else can be kept as pets and might even be recommended as pets
parakeet lover on January 19, 2020:
i have parakeets... they are noisy but atleast they show affection like bro.
snow's and smoke's on January 18, 2020:
you are so rude and not true i have 2 cats and everyone says how cute they are and Vincent you are so rude and this person who wrote it cats are cute and independent and cute and all my friends say how cute they are and i know that cats are cute and sweet to everyone like my cats they are sweet and playful and why are'nt snakes on their or a worm where it cant be played with and soft and fluffy
Vincent on January 17, 2020:
Cats should be on the list. Cats are the dumbest pet to have
zoe arthur on January 10, 2020:
i love cats and dogs how dare you put cats on there you are the meanest person ever they are so cute and your hair is so ugly.
Lobby on December 18, 2019:
I do Love my cat. But I do hate even more those noisy cricketing ugly stupid poop-eater budgies, specially people who let and encourage them to breed!
so rude on December 08, 2019:
by the way do not even think the cat is the worst animal. they are better than almost any pet this is completely fake. they always cuddle on you and they cheer you when you are sad.even though it stilll has downsides it would never be sad at any food and toy i give.and when i come home from school i see him running towards me to play. afterall i would NEVER thing a cat as the worst animal NEVER.
Moral support! on November 17, 2019:
What the heck people? Did no one read:
The views expressed in this article are mostly entirely satirical and should not be taken to the grave. Some animals on this list genuinely do not make good pets for beginners, however, and it is recommended that you do the proper research before purchasing any animal.
I mean...! Does no one these days have a good since of humor? Does no one enjoy a good laugh? I read the warning, which caused me to prepare for this article and OH. MY. GOSH! You are hilarious and I thoroughly enjoyed this article. Sadie, you are a very good writer, and I am begging you, don't pay attention to what these people below me have said. I think you are a good writer and you never stop using your gift to make non-cynical people laugh!
Taylor Swiff. (I know. In my defense, I had the name before her.) on November 17, 2019:
What. The. HECK?!?! How on earth you write this? I have had two of these animals, such as the cat, and bird.
My cat is a sweet thing. He loves curling on my bed for a good nap and is a quite as the grave. He purrs the sweetest melody and lays on my work when he wants attention. He not only is a sweet ray of sunshine, he is also an out door cat. He is very protective of his territory, but all animals are. You said that cat is never punished for running around,but there is a difference. Imagine a dog on the loose. A big, growling hundred pound dog that could cause a lot of damage. Imagine a cat. Small, thin, and probably hissing. Guess what hissing means? Run for your life! Dogs are huge an can hurt you severely, but cats can little to no damage. As you can see, these are animals that are very sweet.
My bird is a African grey parrot named pebbles. He is the most vocal bird species in the world. He loves opera and my telephone ringers. He is so vocal, my grand children love teaching him new sentences and talking with him. They do love copying your phone ringers, so much so, I wouldn't recommend keeping them for long. Also, don't try to fall asleep in the same room as them. They love talking quietly so they can practice. (I would also minimize the swearing around them. We have to keep an eye on him when the grand children are over, because he picked up on my husband's crud language.) There is really no way to go wrong with them.
This is for the writer of this inaccurate paper. I believe you had good intentions writing this, but the responses, including mine, are not happy ones. You are really a good writer, but you wrote a bunch of lies in a paper. I do believe you can do anything you set your mind to, as long as you do it right. I feel bad for the enormous outcry against your paper, and I do hope that you can forgive me for disagreeing with you. I pray that the next paper you do will be more accurate it the general field. I truly am sorry your not a better writer.
A responsible owner. on November 14, 2019:
I want to ask one thing... Have you actually had these animals? I have had all, and none of them fit the brief! From what it sounds like, you just chose random animals to blasphemy!
Goldfish: The Goldfish are messy, sure, but wouldn't you be if you were incapable to clean up after yourself? They are sweet, (A little stupid... but still!), and pleasant pets to have! I have had a fish for about eight years! It survived its bowl breaking after a friend knocked it off the dresser. I loved taking care of him but sadly he died, and I would do that slightly traumatic experience all over again!
Parrots: How on this bloody earth could you say that they are horrible? I have a four-year-old African grey parrot named Pebble who is a pleasure! She knows the basic human conversation and can do a decent Meil Gibson. Granted, keeping them in your room isn’t the best idea ever, because they will mumble under their breath, practicing their vocal skills. (I wouldn’t keep your ringtone on for too long, that is one of their favorite things to mimic.) But Pebble was a dear!
Hamsters: Just a minute! Who in this world can say an adorable hamster is mean? I had one in my youth who was a sweetie! Each of my children love their shared hamster and begged me to get another one when he died at the expected years of four. Secondly, how could you judge them based on their yawns? It would like me judging you and your family because you yawn.
Iguana: They are a delight. Sweet little things. They don’t smell the best, but they are animals! They aren’t very hard to care for, but they aren’t the cheapest animals in the world. I wouldn’t recommend them if you are looking for a family friendly pet. However, if you are a singly dude who wants a good conversation starter, go for it! They are a single man’s dream! My husband desperately wanted one, and finally I caved. They were hard for a mother with twin three-year-old's and an eight-year-old. Sadly, I wasn’t up to the task. We got rid of them. When my children grew up a little, my husband surprised me with a pair of green iguanas’. I wasn’t happy, but my husband convinced me to keep them. Needless to say, the moment we got on vacation, we got a call from our neighbor saying our pair of “male” Iguanas had laid fifteen eggs. They were soon sent to a different home.
Cats: WHAT??? I have a cat which happens to be an outdoor indoor cat with a cat door in out window. You said that, and I quote, “It is entirely unfair that cats aren’t stopped from running around outside,” Oh please! The difference between cats and dogs is that dogs have the ability to tear you apart but cats warn you from getting to close. To any kids reading this, if a cat hisses at you, that probably means, DON’T TUCH IT! Cats are sweeties who purr and comfort. I honestly think the person who wrote this just closed their eyes and randomly picked animals to trash talk.
Anonymous on November 05, 2019:
Accurate articles...all pets including dogs are a nuisance of highest order. Pets are toys for emotionally damaged people who can't bond properly with fellow humans.
Hi Yaakov on October 31, 2019:
First, Whoever wrote this suck hell, and parakeets and hamsters are cute and adorable Cats are loyal so DAM
Person on August 18, 2019:
Snakes are very ugly though, should be first!
Bill on August 01, 2019:
I feel like the only pets that are "bad" are ones either that people can't properly care for or are dangerous. Everyone has different opinions but I think most people here would agree all the animals on this list are pretty darned cool.
Anonymous on July 09, 2019:
Most people are barely right in the comments some are stupid and others are basically talking trash about dogs and stuff. Most people in the comments think they are right but they are just as bad as the people who wrote the article. A lot of people in the comments are just trash talking people with dogs and saying mice and rats cannot be pets. Well they can if you know what to do.
I hate people who protect some animals and trash others because they seem like super trash but they can be every good if you train them properly almost no one in the comments is right and these stupid idiots trashing everything.
Louis on July 07, 2019:
If you don't do your research beforehand than any animal is a nightmare. This list is inaccurate in a lot of ways. This is a biased article that has very little evidence other than opinion. I know for a fact hamsters have no intentions of causing pain to their owner, cats are very affectionate and loyal, etc. I get this article is probably just a joke but specify that cause people might take it seriously.
Tom on July 02, 2019:
This article is actual trash, oh my god
Lauren on June 23, 2019:
Iguanas and Goldfish are the only two here that can be quite difficult. Parakeets are fine with proper care and training. Hamsters are the sweetest little things. Cats are also fine with proper care and training.
sjhasdjfhashdfj on June 18, 2019:
I have budgies, hamsters, and cats ):
Jack Miracle on June 12, 2019:
You are a heartless person! Why are cats on this list? My ragamuffin loves affection and moves being pet. She is very affectionate and is calm, and is very playful and active. I love all animals, even rats, mice, earthworms, toads, but not disease spreading blood sucking mosquitoes. I love going outside and looking for animals and plants. God created everything for a reason, and I love everything he created. The only exeption is mosquitoes, because all the do is suck your blood and spread disease. I admire the living things I see, and wish people would stop killing poor little cute animals. People killing rats and mice, people killing bees, people cutting down trees, all of this makes me offended and disgusted by all of this nonsense. Don’t just give your opinion, just show the pros and cons and how to lessen the cons.
Kira Schofield on June 02, 2019:
Every pet acquired and handled by an ignorant owner can become a nightmare. This article is total bullshit. None of it is animas fault and, if raised in proper conditions by a knowldeable owner can thrive. I can only attest to cats and goldfish, I have no experience with other animals mentioned as an adult. My goldfish are not pets, they live in the ecosystem in my pond, are totally self sufficient, other than maintaining the pond water which I would do anyway, and that is where they belong. Would a human child thrive in a filthy jail cell? Well, that is what aquariums and fish bowls are.
All my cats have been great. I get six week old kittens two or three from the same litter, females, from people I know. I raise them with lots of love, toys, and proper boundaries, training, and veterinary care. I prefer females. I have not had any of the problems described. Cats should not be allowed outdoors, but they are great at keeping mice out without resorting to traps and poisons. Feral animals are the result of irresponsible owners, and much of animal behavior problems described is the same. Getting an animal is a serious commitment And responsibility, it should be a rational thought out researched behavior. Blame the idiot owners, not the animals.
sally the animal lover on May 31, 2019:
first things first, hamsters are the sweetest things they were just yawning in the photos and they are not blood thirsty animals you idiot .And second,this is what the list of animals not to get should look like:
any kind of bug
i think that every animal on your list were animals that you should get. so turn your head straight. and stop making these fake websites.
Lily on May 31, 2019:
First of all I am a girl and I do not squeel when I see a hamsterd and second I have the sweetest hamster in the world and they are not blood thursty monsters so buzz off the hate.
food_unicorn8 on May 23, 2019:
WhY aRe CaTs On THiS LiSt TheY arE ThE MoST SwEEtEsT ThInGS EVERRRRR!!! i seriously disagree with this. This is so not true. PERIODDDD........
Maren on May 21, 2019:
I completely disagree with each of these. There is no "worst pet" There is a pet for each family. For example, I could say that the worst pet is a dog. My family is not very active, therefore, a cat would be a good choice. We also don't have much free time. In this scenario, a cat would be the best pet to adopt, over a dog, who would simply take up too much time. So, there is not a "worst pet" list. Thank you for reading this, and I'm sorry if I offended you. This is just my thought on the matter.
True words on May 19, 2019:
I was surprised to see budgies on this list... But it concluded with cats being deemed the worst, so I know there must be some truth to that. Cats truly are the worst... Maybe second to people already carrying toxoplasmosis.
Mike on May 17, 2019:
You got it on point with those damn birds. 100% annoying
Catgirl1110 on May 03, 2019:
I have 3 cats and 2 budgies... so f*** you whoever created this
Teresa Carpenter on May 01, 2019:
I have three cats. One is a ragdoll. The other two are exotics. They are the sweetest pets. They are affectionate. Cats are very independant and theyet you know when they want something. When and if my cats bite it is gentle.When they were babies we taught them when biting hurt. Yes, like dogs cats can be trained.
you do not get this on April 25, 2019:
how come earlier you wrote a page about how cats are the best pets
Honestly i do not get you
cats are cool on April 25, 2019:
WHY ARE CATS ON THIS LIST
yyyfyytytty on April 24, 2019:
i dont see why cats are even on this list!!!! CATS RULE!!!!!
Terri Sites on April 22, 2019:
This article is so upsetting. Except for the iguana I have owned all of the animals. I currently have a 10 yr. old parrot and a 19 yr. old cat. They are the sweetest things ever. The problem with ANY animal is that people don't usually do research on anything they want to get and then they expect human behaviour. A parrot is a bird...they are social animals, and they are prey for most other animals. Their only protection is to fly or bite. All these animals she talks about are prey for other animals. It's their instinct to bite if they feel threatened. They will usually give physical signs first before attacking. Young children, on the other hand bite with no warning. Does that mean we shouldn't have them?
Boopkins on April 21, 2019:
This was a difficult piece to read (no offense). All the animals mentioned in this article are completely described wrong.
The Parakeets. I’ve never actually owned one, but I’m currently taking care of a Lovebird. You’re right, they are loud, however, she only is loud when she tries to get my attention or she wants to sing/talk with the wild birds that pass by. Other than that, she’s a beautiful bird that loves to play and even give me kisses.
The Goldfish. I used to have so many, but they all sadly passed away from old age. However, they were actually with me for about 5 years. It’s not actually that expensive to take care of them, depending where you go and how many you get. With a bit of work and research, it’s actually easy to take care of the messy goldfishes.
The Hamster. Woah, buddy. I’ve taken care of two Robo hamsters and I’m taking care of a Albino Dwarf Hamster(I actually adopted this little guy.) They are the sweetest, and with proper cage care and diet, they are actually fun to have around. Even buying chew toys for them to bite down their insciors, is pretty cool.
The Iguana. I never have taken care of one of these, but I wanted to at a certain point. These guys are awesome. Reason why I said that? I went to the beach and I passed by an old man, and on his shoulder was this really old Iguana, just sleeping on his shoulder as he walked. So cool. I’ve held one as well, and as long as you don’t drop them and show trust, they’ll have a liking for you, especially if they’re babies. As adults, they’ll know about your trust and kindness towards them, thus it may show in their personality to be nice. (I know this as I did research in Iguanas. I sadly never got one, getting a Ball Python instead, but it’s the same basics.)
Finally, tha Cat. I’ve never had one, nor do I plan on having one. However, a friend of mine has a cat, and he’s the sweetest tabby cat ever. Whenever I visited her, he always greeted me and usually stayed in the room we were in. He would often rub against my legs, do playful meow, and he would even let me rub his tummy. Cats are great companions for a lot of people, especially those who can’t get Dogs and choose the alternative.
Either way, you might want to go through your article again. There’s lots of animals that may seem bad as a pet, but can be taken care of with lots of love. They’ll be sure to love you back. (This does not mean there are not animals that are completely good. However, you might want to do full research on every single one before judging them.)
jonathan on April 04, 2019:
i hate this
Kenya on March 27, 2019:
She is a complete moron! She just mad because none of her pets like her. First of all, I have a budgie, lizard and a cat and I've been doing just fine. Budgies don't usually scream idiot not if you train them not to do that and if they do it is not quote on quote "deafening to the ear" it is not that loud. And, cats aren't always mean. You have to get them at a young age so you can train them and feed them so they trust you. There is always this myth that cats have high standards but they really don't they are independent creatures so sometimes they don't want to be cuddled. That something to think about before you get mad at your cat for scratching your ugly face because you start squeezing it to death because your boyfriend left you. Also, you are the ugly mug, not lizards why is it that you pick some of the most popular pets on this list. Most people have a good time with these pets and have no problems but I guess your just that kind of person nobody likes. All this woman did was tell lies about all these amazing animals for no good reason and for that this girl is really annoying and she is a liar and that is all she will ever do, lie. she is the real animal, not the animals on this list.
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parrots are sooooooooooooooo cute!!! THEY SHOULD NOT BE ON THIS LIST!!!
Guinea pig lover on March 16, 2019:
This list should be
PS someone actually had a pet hippo
PPS it ate them!
kiwi 64 on March 16, 2019:
parrots are the best pets anyone can possibly have.
Something else on March 10, 2019:
Five star turd if you ask me
Worldofparrots on March 10, 2019:
I have three parrots, and parakeets are one of the best birds you can ever have, they are outgoing birds and super playful. Try having a cockatoo or a macaw scream till you wake up thats a worse sound. Parakeets make small cute noises getting a parakeet out a cage is easy unless you treated it bad.
Kitty kat1963 on March 10, 2019:
Well then i have 4 out of the 5 worse pets according to this hogwash . But i prefer them over people , especially people that write jibberish such as this article i just read and wasted 5 minutes of my life on . Whoever wrote this must hate their own life and decided to write some B.S. by the way my hamster has a cage that is bigger and better then this whole stupid article
ingrid cummings on March 09, 2019:
I always had animalss throughout my entire life.as a child , I had turtles, hamsters, rabbits, dogs, birds and guni pigs.now, I have 4 furbabys and 20 birds.my animals are family mbers and they give me so much love and happines that what some people are not able to give..